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Question for BabiesEverywhere re potty during meals (other contributors welcome of course)!

(11 Posts)
MiniMarmite Wed 27-May-09 14:27:11

BE, I --lurked on-- read some of your threads/contributions on EC earlier in the year and I've been reading the 'potty training' advice found in The Baby Whisperer books.

Having given it some thought I've been allowing DS to use a potty since he was about 8 months old (he's now 9 months) but I'm not specifically trying to potty train him (having taken your point that EC is communication, not potty training).

We have generally found this to be very positive and he already knows what the potty is for and can 'go' if he is sat on it. I'm not able to recognise his need to wee signals yet and he is not continent if he needs to go and is not offered the potty.

*Anyway, my question is*, what do you do if DC needs to use the toilet during a meal? DS needs to do a poo during at least one meal per day. Initially I took him down from the highchair and sat him on the potty but I found that (as well as being quite tricky and messy) he found this a bit annoying. I've stopped doing it as I only want him to have good potty associations.

Babieseverywhere Wed 27-May-09 15:22:10

This is just guess work, I am no expert at this stuff just a mum...

I reckon a big bit of using a potty for a baby is the sitting upright bit. This seems to put pressure on the bladder/gut to get a result, as such.

I find my 9 month old DS (in a pause at the moment) will equally wee/poo when sat on a potty a toilet a bumbo or his highchair. But he will crawl to me and ask if he isn't sitting.

In your situation I would sit him on the potty/toilet before the meal for a couple of minutes with a book or toy and see if he'ss poo before hand.

MiniMarmite Wed 27-May-09 18:56:25

Thanks BE, agree about the upright bit (although I think he is also a bit like me and food has quite a rapid effect too blush) - will try before the meal and see how that goes smile

FrannyandZooey Wed 27-May-09 18:58:04

i have this problem also
reading with interest thank you BE

FrannyandZooey Wed 27-May-09 18:59:58

can i hijack a bit
i still can't recognise any signals from ds2 blush except passing wind sometimes
am i just rubbish at this? we have a fair amount of success but mostly through timing and ds sometimes wanting to co-operate
is there any likelihood of this improving? i just haven't a clue how to spot when he needs to go

Babieseverywhere Thu 28-May-09 07:57:05

Franny, I am having a similar issue with my DS. My DD signals were clear she used a sound and hand signals for wee/toilet from an earlier age.

Whereas in the happy chaos of a two child household, he doesn't sign and rarely making a potty sound. He does crawl to me and cries and sometimes he will crawl over to a potty but I don't always pick these up until he wees <bad mummy>

It is all timing at the start, then the child holds on until the next timed offered potty session, finally they will start independantly deciding when and where they will wee/poo and that is when the fun really starts. "Mummy me do it" being the cry LOL

ECing really is back and forward not a straight forward path. DS and I are in a refuse to use the potty stage. I pop him on and he giggles and crawls off...sigh. We still get a couple of wees and usually a poo in the potty but many wees and maybe another poo in nappies/trainer pants.

But when he gets a little older (9 months atm) it should get easier. His sister clicked with poo at 10 months and wee (on the whole) at 12 months. We had occassional wee misses after that (maybe one a month for wee) but only a couple of poo related misses (related to illness)

I can't wait for the poo to click, as I hate cleaning poo off bottoms and little boys have so many cracks and bits to clean.

So chin up keep offering the potty and it will click in your (and my) DS own time. grin

MiniMarmite Fri 29-May-09 11:02:06

I alway know AFTER the wee as he does a little shiver! Poo is much more obvious - goes a bit quiet and red.

Don't want to make generalisations but I wonder if it is likely to be more difficult with DSs as DDs are often (not always of course) ready to communicate a little earlier.

We've found something interesting over the past 2 days - DS has started sitting up in his cot during naps or at night if he needs a poo!

eclairea Fri 29-May-09 22:20:37

My DS does this too! The most annoying thing is when I get him all out of his bibs, highchair harness etc, and then it turns out just to be wind. I have started offering the potty before meals and it works slightly but not completely.
DS is nearly 8 months, and has been using the potty since 4.5 months. I have no idea about his 'wee' cues but just recently he has started to do many more wees on the potty so he is obviously picking it up! Poos we still get probably 60% or so on the potty, half of which are as a result of offering the potty at nappy change time, the other half me noticing he is going quiet and bright red!

FrannyandZooey Sat 30-May-09 09:17:04

thank you all
we have had some progress in that he will wee again if cued in a place other than the potty - eg publicn toilet - used to do this but then stopped
well he will do this for dp
he won't do it with me hmm

FrannyandZooey Sat 30-May-09 22:45:16

just read your advice again BE - very helpful especially the bit about it being a back and forth journey not a straight line

i often think we are just inattentive - Greensleeves and her dh were here today and Mr Greeny said at one point "he looks like he's about to poo"
lo and behold he did
NOT on the potty because we hadn't offered it
but the clues were plainly there to be seen if we were looking

Babieseverywhere Sun 31-May-09 10:42:21

MiniMarmite, Yes, my DD communicated much earlier. DS is a direct action baby. He knows the sign for milk and uses it if he is in a pram, but if he can move he climbs up me and trys to latch on through my top !!!

Eclairea, sounds like things are going very well for you guys. Keep us posted I love hearing how things are going for other ECing babies.

Franny, My DD would wee on a potty for my mum (who didn't like us doing EC) but not for me at times. I so often think why is DS doing that, or hanging off my leg and a minute later ...<duh> off course and I offer the potty <he giggles and climbs off>

Life is certainly more interesting with a pottied baby. grin

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