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Potty Training Failed ... feeling really down

(11 Posts)
Corky Wed 13-Apr-05 17:00:53

Have just given up training my dd of 2yr 6months after 9 days. I thought she was doing ok as sits on potty fine, does wees fine - poo a problem though, and she was even just starting to tell me occasionally when she wanted a wee. Out of the house though she'd never yet weed. Most of the time she wasn't telling me and we had 2 or more accidents a day and I was always prompting her. So finally had enough and put her back in nappies today and its almost like the potty never existed as she's not mentioned wee wee or potty at all today.

I feel like I've wasted 9 days of my time for nothing and the thought of going through all this again just depresses me.

Did I do the right thing in giving up. I just thought it was supposed to be quick when they cracked it.

flashingnose Wed 13-Apr-05 17:05:06

If it helps, I tried three times with my ds. First two times we gave up after a week, and went back to nappies (low stress levels for me and him). Then the last time, something clicked within the week and he's never looked back.

When they're ready, it'll be quick

flashingnose Wed 13-Apr-05 17:07:21

Now dd1 on the other hand...I really should have put her back into nappies as she was having numerous accidents a day, but nursery told me to press on as she was "so nearly there". She carried on having accidents for three months. I really regret listening to them and not going with my instincts.

Only dd2 to go now - I really won't miss potty training

googoo Wed 13-Apr-05 17:11:55

well when i trained issy i tried at 2 and a half, and it went completly wrong, she just wasnt interested,

however fast foward 4 months she decided one day she was a big girl and didnt need nappies,

was dry in 2 days, and night dry within a month, its been fab, in total we had about 3 accidents when she was engrossed on the pc and didnt get to the loo in time,

i would just put it down to your dd being too young at the moment,

you havent waisted the time as next time you try she will know exactly what to do, i would give it another go in a few months time,

good luck
from jen

cupcakes Wed 13-Apr-05 17:19:15

Wait a few weeks and then try again. No-one I know has successfully potty trained at the first attempt. The best thing you can do (in my opinion!) is to sit back and relax about it. If she can see you getting anxious about it she will too. Just quietly encourage her when she does attempt to sit on the potty and wait till she tries doing it by herself.
Don't worry - she will get there eventually!

mummylonglegs Thu 14-Apr-05 11:04:57

Corky, I agree with everyone else. I tried to train dd at 2 and she was fine so long as we were at home, I reminded her, and she was bare-bottomed. The moment we went out or she was in clothes it was a disaster. I postponed and was so much less stressed about it the 2nd time around. She's 2 1/2. We're 3 weeks in and after the first 2 days she was dry in the day and for the last week has been dry all night. The first time wasn't the right time but the second clearly was.

I do remember feeling exactly what you describe though that it had been a wasted time and I couldn't quite face doing it again. I think you're right that when they've cracked it, it is quick, and your dd isn't quite ready. You'll see a huge difference when she is.

collision Thu 14-Apr-05 11:11:22

.....and wait til the summer when she can go out and run around in just her pants.

I tried pting ds at 22months but no good. 2 months later he was fine and dry in a few days. Nights were even easier.

Relax and remember she will do it but in her own time!!

Corky Thu 14-Apr-05 14:48:31

Thanks all for your advice, I'm feeling better today as she's been to nursery so been out of my hair for a few hours! Although she said in the car that she'd done a wee wee in the potty at nursery so not sure whether to believe that or not as she is back in nappies.

I shall wait a month or so and try again if I think she's showing any more signs. I think it all gets so intense (you end up dreaming about wee every night!) that it takes over a bit and even though you think your're relaxed you're actually quite stressed about it!

Roll on the 2nd attempt and the sunnier warmer weather!

mummylonglegs Thu 14-Apr-05 14:53:07

Yes, I found the first attempt very stressful even though I didn't think I would. Leaving it a few months and then trying again let me reassess how I'd behaved first time round, it also made me realise what a pain in the arse potty training is and there was no real hurry!

chipmonkey Thu 14-Apr-05 15:47:35

Corky, I think you were right to stop. I carried on for far too long with ds1 when he just wasn't ready. I had thought he was ready, and felt that at his age, 2.5 that he should be ready. It took nearly a year and he was still doing poos in his pants at nearly 4 even thought he's a smart kid. After all that, with ds2 I waited till he was 3. It was SO much quicker and easier. I think a lot of books seem to recommend training at 2 but some kids just aren't ready till later.

Lilliput Thu 14-Apr-05 21:33:27

If it makes you feel any better I have given up potty traing my dd who is 2yr 3mths after only 2 days. She appeared to show all the rights signs and I am thoroughly fed up with her very horrid poo. Day one was ok, a couple of major pee accidents and two big pees in her potty, but no poo. She was praised to the high heavens for her pees on the pot, given choc and granny phoned etc. Day 2 and she will sit, but nothing, doesn't really want to drink anything. She finally has a major puddle in the kitchen at about 3.30 after I had already sat her on her pot for ages after her nap. Then she did it again and she didn't seem that bothered. I personally feel defeated by my 2 year old once again.
She's probably not ready and I was feeling pressurised by my mum and her childminder to get her trained. Maybe next time they mention it I shall suggest they do it!

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