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How long can I defer potty training ? How late did you leave it ?

(56 Posts)
NomDePlume Tue 08-Mar-05 14:16:40

My DD is 2y 7m and is still in nappies. I've made several attempts at beginning PT to no avail. She loves sitting on the potty etc but just doesn't seem to know she needs a wee until she's done it, which is soooooooooo frustrating when you've sat her on the potty 3 minutes previously. I've now decided that she obviously isn't ready yet and to give it another go in a couple of months. This will be the 3rd time I have postponed PT (2y, 2y4m & 2y6m)

I'm quite relaxed about this but I do get looks of vague horror from checkout girls and random members of the public when I buy bigger nappies or someone asks me ('Is she still in nappies?!') and I tell them that she is. My DD is as tall as her almost 4 year old nursery peers and has very good language skills, all of which make her appear older than her 2 years 7 months.

How long can I leave it before I really have to put my foot down with the potty training ?

GhostofNatt Tue 08-Mar-05 14:20:19

Don't know, but DS2 is 2 yrs, 8 months and shouts angrily about the very idea of the potty. my brain is so eroded I cannot remember when his brother got potty-trained - know it was pretty late. DS2 also huge and articulate, oh dear

nailpolish Tue 08-Mar-05 14:24:13

ndp, my dd is 2 yrs 5 mths and absolutely refuses to even look at the potty. i have decided to leave it, even though nag nag nag from (not so) well meaning family. sod them, its easy when you are not the person doing it

when the time comes, i have decided to buy cheapy cheap nappies and let dd feel 'wet' just now she has nappies that she doesnt even feel they are wet, either that or buy a ton of pants and let her wear them, i reckon she will ask for the potty cos she will know she is doing a wee. she refuses to go bare bum

listen to me, blah blah blah when i havent even done it yet

thats just my plan though

donnie Tue 08-Mar-05 14:26:45

I didn't start with dd until she was 2 yrs and 9 mths and to be honest it did take a while and she still has accidents sometimes now ( she is 3 yrs 3mth). I really get annoyed by these people who swear that their little one was trained in 24 hours flat - rubbish!anyhow the thing is she won't know about weeing until she has had some accidents - we endured our dd weeing on the floor but then she started to recognise when she needed to go.....a slow process.If your dd wees very frequently ( 2 - 3 times an hour, small amounts) then her bladder probably isn't sufficient;y developed but if she wees every hour or less frequently it shows she has some bladder control and is ready to be trained. BTW our dd is still in nappies at night but the health visitor said she didn't even bother with nignt training for one of her kids until they were 4 !! good luck.

PrettyCandles Tue 08-Mar-05 14:27:19

We trained ds at 2y10m and it took 2 days. We first tried at about 20m - he understood exactly what we wanted him to do, tried hard to co-operate and was making progress, but we stopped after 3-4 days because he was distressed by his accidents. Dd is 2y3m, shows absolutely no readiness whatsoever and we won't be trying to train her until she does, whatever anyone else says. I see no reason to go through months of accidents and upsets and it really annoys me when people (usually older generation) criticise our decision. This is a bit like the weaning issues. Please don't let yourself be bullied into training your dd before she's ready.

flamesparrow Tue 08-Mar-05 14:29:21

Leave her until she decides she's ready. B is training ridiculously early (somewhere I read that it is because she is in cloth and can feel the wetness more, but I don't know if its true).

She just turned round and refused to wear nappies - we had a few days with puddles (I felt like I had a puppy!), but then she realised that the potty stopped soggy feet, and started using it by herself.

No luck with her using it unless she has a bare bum, but she is still tiny... it will come eventually.

xxx

PrettyCandles Tue 08-Mar-05 14:29:21

BTW, are you using washables or disposies? Washables are very useful for teaching a child about wetness and the consequences of weeing. We used a nappy service for a few months to give ds the idea.

webmum Tue 08-Mar-05 14:30:30

Hi NDP, dd1 has just conquered the potty, and she's 3 years 9 months!!

She wasn't ready until 3, and then she just refused, at 3 years 3 months we had a nappyfree week, then she woulnd't wear knickers at nursery and slowly started wearing nappies all the time again. I was due my second by then and I thought best not to push it. We tried again last month, and even though it needed a bit of forcefullness about the nursery thing, it has been quite easy really, very few accidents and we do go out quite a lot. I was despairing as she's going to school in September but I suppose they need their own time, and don't be pressurised by other people, there's no need to make them grow so quickly, they do it enough without our interfering.

Good luck!!

Prettybird Tue 08-Mar-05 14:35:25

Ds showed no inclination. Against childminder's and my (experienced) best friend's advice (who had both said to wait until he wanted to), we tried him when he was about 2.10. It was a half hearted attempt which confirmed that he had no awareness. We tried again when we were away on holiday (ds just turned 3), letting him run around with a bare bum, but it didn't increase his awareness.

We tried again (still with him showing no signs of awareness) when he was 3.5 and this time bingo. A couple of accidents and that was it.

Within a few weeks of being dry and clean during the day, he was dry at night.

He also very quickly graduated to using the "big" toilet as opposed to the potty.

trinityrocks Tue 08-Mar-05 14:52:02

i didn't try to PT my DS and she sorted herself out at just gone 3 and it was quick and easy I think because we waited.

coldtea Tue 08-Mar-05 14:55:52

I've read these posts with interest as i have a 19month old dd showing huge signs of being ready.

With my ds i tried at 22 months but I wasn't ready as found myself getting really cross with each accident. Also i had received lots of conflicting advice about staying in , letting them run around naked & i wasn't sure if any of this suited me. I decided to go on holiday & start properly afterwards when he was 2 & 1 month. I should add that before this he had shown no real signs of being ready , he didn't even say when he needed to go!

I decided to bite the bullet & i gave ourselves 2 weeks , if nothing had improved i was going to stop. I put him straight into pants & the first 3 or 4 days he weed about 10 times which i patiently(at least on the outside!) cleared up. By day 6 we had halved it down to 5 & by day 10 he was dry. I only have experience of training with one child so i don't know how good this method is , but i really do think you have to be just as ready as they are.

My 19month old will sit on the toilet & tells me each time she had done a poo(in her nappy) but i know life is too busy at the moment to even consider starting with her. I will probably do the same though with her in the next few weeks & see how we get on.

Good luck!

TheVillageIdiot Tue 08-Mar-05 15:02:44

dd is 2yrs 9months and having NONE of it!! I've given up she can stay in nappies forever - besides in a couple of years time she will be able to change her own

flamesparrow Tue 08-Mar-05 15:03:18

LOL TVI!!!!!

piffle Tue 08-Mar-05 15:11:52

My dd is 28 mths and will sit on the loo when her nappy is off and will tell me when she needs a wee, but not a poo, although she tells me as she is doing it
N=But I'm leaving it til summer
I left my son til nearly 3 dry day and night within a fortnight, I'm not in the frame of mind for running around catching wee, tis much easier later on, although some kids do train early themselves almost Basically your dd will let you know when she is ready?

Ameriscot2005 Tue 08-Mar-05 15:13:29

I don't do potty training and find that they are ready to give up their nappies, day and night, between 3 and 3y3m. No accidents, no hassles and no chasing around with a bottle of Dettox

aloha Tue 08-Mar-05 15:15:05

Ooh, just posted about this (So so proud thread). My ds is 3years 6months and has just got there (practically). I had stupid panics about this (some of them on Mumsnet ) but it was silly - when he was ready and with the help of his lovely helpers at nursery, he has 'got it' so quickly and is now very proud of himself. I think two and a half is very young indeed, but then I would, wouldn't I?!

pinkmama Tue 08-Mar-05 15:18:48

My ds has just turned 3 and has absolutely no inclination to come out of nappies whatsoever. He gets quite distressed if you try and put him in pants. Got so fed up, and so desperate to get him out of them by time no 3 comes in July we went cold turkey last weekend, but he just pooed and wee'd to his hearts content wherever he felt like it. Looks like I will have to be patient. DD was 27 months and refused to wear nappies one day and bar the odd accident never looked back, althoug she was over 4 before she came out of nighttime.

Releived to see from this thread I haven't got the oldest child in nappies!

NomDePlume Tue 08-Mar-05 18:08:52

Thanks for all these messages . Just hopped onto MN for 5 mins, so haven't got time to do it all now.

NomDePlume Tue 08-Mar-05 18:33:03

That's another fear/worry of mine. DD is an August baby and so will be one of the very youngest in her class at school, if I leave it until she's 3.5 to try again, what if it doesn;t work and she's wetting regularly at school ?! Or am I just over-thinking this one ? Feel free to say yes !

coppertop Tue 08-Mar-05 18:37:00

Ds1 was a very late starter at 4yrs 2mths(ish). He finally got the hang of it about a month before starting school. He had one or two accidents at school but the teacher told me that even those children who had been using the toilet for a couple of years still had accidents when they started school.

happymerryberries Tue 08-Mar-05 18:39:52

3 for dd 3.5 for ds. Dd too two weeks to be clean and dry, ds took a week. In my experience if you wait later, the children are more likely to be fully ready and the whole thing is done with the minumum of fuss and stress all round

sacha3taylor Tue 08-Mar-05 18:45:47

My dd was 2 years 4 months. She is now 2 years 10 months but we still have a few accidents. DS was nearly 3. I wouldn't worry and just ignore all the remarks or just calmly say that she IS only 2 and a half. Good luck

Socci Tue 08-Mar-05 18:54:41

Message withdrawn

littlemissbossy Tue 08-Mar-05 19:01:39

My ds was nearly 3.5 before he was potty trained ...and it was certainly not from want of trying!!! He just wouldn't sit on the potty and as he was starting school in the September, we had to make a real effort. So I waited until we had a week off and we stayed in all week.... god that was a long week I can tell you but in that week we cracked it! I made him sit on the potty and wear pants all week and then he finally realised he had to sit on the potty or wet himself.
Remember NdP, they're all different and they train at different times in their life... she'll do it eventually and she'll love it when she finally understands what she's supposed to do... she'll be really proud of herself.
Good luck

NomDePlume Tue 08-Mar-05 19:08:03

Socci, no I've not noticed her holding herself. Hello, btw , hope DD is feeling better now.

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