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getting dd to take responsibility for telling me that she needs a wee

(11 Posts)
LetThemEatCake Tue 07-Oct-08 12:17:02

hello - no probs when dd (26 monthss) needs a poo - tells me immediately, have not had an accident of this nature for longer than I can remember.

But she only tells me that she needs a wee about 40% of the time - most wees come from me saying "let's have a sit on the loo before we go out" or "do you need a wee?" She goes immediately, leading me to think that she has learned a fair bit of control (ie not to go until the loo is under her bum) - but how do I get her to tell me that she needs a wee rather than me nagging her? We do still have more accidents than I'd like - a few a week, at least.

Was considering having a few days at home where I just leave it up to her - she's surely get it then? After a few accidents in a row?

When she has an accident, she always tells me as it begins "Mama! wee wee!" She's not one of those kids who is happy to go about in wet knickers, if you get me. And, don't know if this is relevant, but she always apologises - so it's like she wants to please. (not that I make a big deal out of it, I hasten to add - should I?)

any advice oh wise mners?

Neeerly3 Tue 07-Oct-08 12:24:19

personally i would carry on asking, every half an hour or so. Eventually as she matures and her vocab and speach develops she will start asking ALL the time, even when she doesn't need to go!

I think just over 2 is a wee bit young to have the responsibility solely down to them. There are some that are fully dry, day and night at that age and I am envy at them! (think my DT's were nearly 3 before we were totally dry in the day, now nearly 4 and one is still in pull ups at night).

Few more months of constant reminders to go and she will get fed up and start telling you she needs to go.

Good luck!

ches Tue 07-Oct-08 16:44:56

Do you go around telling her when you need a wee? Nope. So she's not learning by example to ask, and by example's the easiest way to learn. If she uses a potty you can show her how to do it herself, or if she uses a toilet you can get her a step stool and show her how to do it herself. Loads of kids still need frequent reminders well past 4 so it's not unusual.

mrsbabookaloo Tue 07-Oct-08 16:49:52

My dd is exactly the same. I almost feel like I've been too vigilant: asking very often if she needs to go, so she's not learning to take responsibility for it herself. She had a couple of accidents at nursery and I was wondering if I should go cold turkey and just stop reminding her...

But then the nursery said she was very good at telling them when she needed to go and the accidents were exceptions rather than the rule, so I think I'm just going to carry on as I am.

Sorry, not much help, just wanted to say I'm in the same boat and thanks for starting the thread.

mrsbabookaloo Tue 07-Oct-08 16:51:31

Also, slight side-bar in response to ches' step stool comment: why are all step stools so tiny? i have an ikea one which is slightly taller than the tiny mothercare ones, but it's still not tall enough to enable dd, a tall 2.3, to climb on the loo or wash her hands...

ItsNotOnlyTheGoodBits Tue 07-Oct-08 17:03:39

Am so glad you asked this (thank you) as Baby GoodBits is the same (also 26 months). Thankfully we don't have too many accidents though! And I was wondering exactly the same thing as you.

I generally take him after an hour or so. Some days he is very good at telling me when he wants to go, and others not so good.

I don't think he has the language comprehension or maturity yet to ask every time he wants to go. Also, if it has been quite a long time and I ask him if wants to go he answers an emphatic "No!" every time. So I take him anyway.

I think I will stick with the way we have been doing things so far - it seems to be working for us.

Do have other toilet training questions so I will be back later...or tomorrow.

ItsNotOnlyTheGoodBits Tue 07-Oct-08 17:05:13

Oh and I don't get him to climb onto the stepping stool to sit on the toilet - I lift him up. Maybe this is something I should introduce.

anurse Tue 07-Oct-08 18:27:13

My DD is 27 months and has few accidents but generally she is clean and dry. She asks occasionally but usually she just goes when I guide her there, I don't ask her. But I do tell her when I am going for a wee, I just say "Oh no, I need a wee, what shall I do?" cue answer "Toilet time mummy!" so I guess I am letting her learn by example. I'd go with the gradual method, she will get it very soon so just let it happen.

LetThemEatCake Tue 07-Oct-08 20:20:39

thanks everyone.

Ches, I do lead by example, actually, and started doing so long before 'serious' tt began. "Mummy needs a wee, Mummy needs to go to the toilet"... so we all troop to the loo together, she gets the paper for me and hands it to me and she claps and says "good girl mama!"

Anyway, I guess we will just keep plugging away. Thanks for letting me know that I'm not alone ladies!

seeker Tue 07-Oct-08 20:28:58

She is VERY young. With that many accidents, have you considered leaving it a few months then having another try? It really is true that if you leave it long enough then you can potty train in 10 minutes.

mrsbabookaloo Wed 08-Oct-08 10:14:33

Yes, I lift dd on to the loo too, and i make her go even when she says she doesn't need to, because she always says she doesn't need to. So I'm not really fostering independence am I? But she is only 26 months.

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