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holding in poo

(9 Posts)
dcb Thu 25-Sep-08 20:53:13

DD 27 months and has been holding her poos in. Started about 4 mths ago initially when constipated and probably was hurting. she's now v soft however and i don't think it is painful anymore but she always tries to hold her poos in.

have tried making her so loose that she can't ( with figs, califig etc) and this does seem to work but then she'll go back to holding it in. She's still in nappies and does show interest in toilet training ( i think she knows how it all works) and although asks to sit on the potty occ never does anything.

any tips on how to overcome this - have tried encouragement, ignoring it, explaining but not getting anywhere? I don't really want to start toilet training whilst this is an issue - or do you think she might be wanting to???? Thanks

DanJARMouse Thu 25-Sep-08 20:59:45

Just sympathy really. We had this with our DD2 when she was about 26mnths. Unfortunately it lasted about 8mnths and now there doesnt seem an issue, although always have suppositries and movical in the house incase.

DD2 is 3 next month and has only trained in the last 3 weeks.

glasgowgal Thu 25-Sep-08 21:07:41

Sympathy here too. DC2 did this for a long time (about a year- inclusive of untrained and trained period) and was very distressing for all of us. Eventually after an awful time which ended in a suppository and several months of lactulose to make it soft enough to be unable to hold in, things imnproved. Rest assured it will. Had a milder, much shorter version with dc3, who would hold in for days and only go in a nappy even when trained, which I hear is also common.
In the meantime, try not to feel it is your fault (which I did), try not to get annoyed (which I sometimes did), remember it is a common occurence and, ignoring the pun, this too shall pass.

glasgowgal Thu 25-Sep-08 21:10:25

Should have said the lactulose was daily for several months, not only given when the symptoms started,and then gradually weaned off. However, I wouldn't do this without your GP's say-so.

dcb Thu 25-Sep-08 21:10:56

Thanks for the advice. I know it sounds awful but it can be really embarassing when you're out and about - she looks like a contortionist - get some funny looks sometimes...

Did you just get on with toilet training anyway?

glasgowgal Thu 25-Sep-08 21:31:05

I did, at 30 months becuse I knew he could. Didn't do a poo in the toilet for at least another 6 months.

misskizzy Thu 25-Sep-08 22:15:24

Hi,

My DD1 is 3 next month. She started using the loo the day after her 2nd bday and went dry through the night 6 months later..only trouble is that she stil uses a nappy for number 2's.

She has always gone days without going, except for when I was breast feeding, and they are always very hard and really painfull for her. It has been 9 days now and her general mood is getting very grotty and we are both are exhausted!!

I am using calfig, have heard about lactulose but really don't know where to get advice. My HV just say's 'it will get better' but I am not convinced.

Have read all above and will try some of the tips...here goes.

sweetchick Fri 26-Sep-08 08:14:05

Hi there,

Lots of parents are going through the same problem or been there .. including myself.
My experience has been the past 20 months ( and still a bit ongoing) Took my son off nappies while on holiday and everything went very smooth, including the poo. Got him a potty while on holiday and he managed to do both while standing.
Came back and still was at it, till my husband always says, done a huge one on the potty that must ave been sore. Do not have recollection as per had so far too many incidents. Since then, had always poo in his pants between six or nine times a day (somedays) and all this due to his whitholding. When call health visitor her suggestion was that he should be taking responsability for his own mess. Never mind the advice, took him to GP and prescribed lactulose. Had tried not to give it everyday, as Im a great believer that a good diet helps in getting the bowels moving, but had it as a back up.
Went to Yorkill hospital ( I live in Glasgow and this is the H for sick children). He was examined and found perfectly fine.
My second child was born in February this year and I though wether the problem will worsen or get better. Still the same. Someone from the continence department came in to see me and talk about it and suggested the prescription of MOVICOL (another laxative) to make him go more, but found it was to agrresive as can get a bit messy, do not get me wrong it works!!Back to GP again, another doctor, suggested a referal letter to a psychologist (still on waiting list) due to she considered thid was more to do with his behaviour than anything else.
Without any success, carry on doing in pants.
Continence department popped in again and suggested and abdominal x-ray to rule out any internal problems which was denied once we went to hospital due to doctor said " theres no way this child is constipated" they get to see children with that problem and their tummys are huge! because they have not been able to do proper poos for about two/three weeks, they feel ill and doctors can actually feel the poo in their stomachs.
She did perform and a**al examination and she reassured me he was absolutely fine otherwise it would have felt like a bag of marbles.
After that it was time to act.
A week before my son turned 4, had stopped being getting so crossed with him and never mentioned the subject again ( and believe me before i had tried, stickers, toys, sweets, ice cream, everything possible as we parents will do, but nothing).
And finally sat him on the toilet. He cried, but I never heard the cried at all. He did not do any , but at least he sat. He gradually starting to give up.
I m still taking the baby in there with me, sometimes we have a snack, do games, sing songs, make him laugh, anything possible to make him relax and to realise it is no so bad being there.
Last tuesday after his football class finished, hide and done one so big that it stained the inside of his white shorts. His dad showed him and I think he "realised"?
The day after, wednesday last week for the first time,after 20 minutes sitted, he has done one in the toilet. It was huge, and after that he was so happy!!! & relieved. saturday have done another one again, and again so happy and have said " it is not sore"!!. A few days passed and nothing but kept on sitting everyday for about 3 times. Till yesterday I though, well if nothing happens by tonite ill be sore, so decided while out bought him something to eat and a cold bottle of ginger, sat on the toilet, eating and had half a glass of drink and ten minutes after all came out, enormous and he was so relieved, but during the morning he ve done it in his pants.

This is our story. I fell like Im turning a corner.
Whatever you do, do not get cross as will not help with the situation.
Give her time.... Maybe she has not matured the poo issue yet. Im not saying that you will go through the 20 months we still a bit are, but it will take same time.
Personally I have lived with my sons smell eversingle day, but I have accepted it. Just put a big change of pants on my bag, wipes and three change of trousers and had carry on normally. I never felt embarraseed about this, I had felt more like a failure for not being able to help my son, but we are finally getting there.
Patience its very rewarding also perseverance.

I think we as parents, feel this enormous anxiety that things have to fall into place by certain time, and so on, so on... and at least for me, it is so wrong!.
Everything its a matter of time. Why do we put so much pressure on our children? at the end of the day we are all individuals and developed at different paces.

Take care

dcb Fri 26-Sep-08 14:16:02

Thanks for telling your story sweetchick - glad things are better for you now. We're nowhere near as bad as your situation. You have my sympathy xxx

Misskizzy - we tried lactulose - it makes the poo really sticky - found that califig was much better. Also the "taste the difference" figs from sains work a treat for us xxx

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