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2 and half year old dry for three weeks now regressing....and his mum's just gone back full time. Help !!

(9 Posts)
LavenderLu Thu 18-Sep-08 20:29:47

Hi all, im writing on behalf of a friend. She's just started full time work after 13 months off and spent the last 3 weeks of her summer toilet training. Her son was dry for three weeks, now after 10 days he's been pooing (3x) and weeing at the childminders today. He also had accidents yesterday and some last Saturday

The childminder suggests he goes back to nappies for two more months but my friend is worried that this might be a bit quick to make that decision and is obv reluctant after all her hard work although totally understands its difficult for the childminder who has three other children to care for.

So, is it normal to have a regression? Or do you guys think it's cos of him being unsettled (sorry, i know you're not mind readers but if there's any mums with some experience it would really help!)

Any info would really help cos she's really upset and too tired to post cos she's got to be up early in the morning for work. Thanks all

LavenderLu Thu 18-Sep-08 20:30:37

sorry to clarify - she spent about five weeks toilet training and for three he was dry with the only occasional accident

OMaLittle Thu 18-Sep-08 20:33:52

DD (similar age) regressed and I found it intensely frustrating. In the end had to not react at all (hard when mopping up deliberate wee with a baby in the other hand!) and go back to reward charts - fingers crossed has worked for last couple of weeks. I think it is normal, especially when a change happening. I would talk to the CM and see if she is up for reward charts etc. DD's nursery were really good about it - DD and I sat down together and wrote them a letter, then she took it in and read it with her room leader, then at pickup every day we made a massive deal about how many stars she had got that morning.

Hope that helps! Feeling for your poor friend.

LavenderLu Thu 18-Sep-08 20:37:21

o thank you - thats so kind. We hadn't thought of reward charts. What's your view about the childminder situation? How long do you think she should be asked to hold out before nappies? I would have thought a week at least but my friend gets the feeling she will only last a few more days with accidents. Can i ask - did your DD have a change when she regressed? i think that's what's stressing my friend out the most - that she's caused it by going back to work. She really wants to know if a regression can just happen anyway.....

LavenderLu Thu 18-Sep-08 20:40:30

PS I love the idea of writing a letter and all that - im sure the childminder will go for that, its worth a try surely.....

LavenderLu Thu 18-Sep-08 20:41:47

PS I love the idea of writing a letter and all that - im sure the childminder will go for that, its worth a try surely.....

OMaLittle Thu 18-Sep-08 20:51:47

No, not really. She had had a couple of weeks where she had gone to nursery only intermittently because we'd been away (she goes three mornings a week) but she'd been dry before that at nursery. I had a baby but that was well before we started potty training (although DH's brilliant idea was to start it the day before he went back after pat leave hmm - er, thanks!). Another friend of mine had her daughter dry for eight months only for her to start doing exactly the same, again no provocation! Tell your friend to have a big glass of wine and stop worrying. I would ask the childminder for at least a week's grace and if it seems to be going well then to progress. Incessant asking also helped!

LavenderLu Thu 18-Sep-08 21:09:30

thanks so much for this! really really helpful, just spoke to my friend and she asks if your DD or your friend's daughter actually went back into nappies or if you both just persevered

She also wants me to do a new thread on how long a childminder would cope without going into nappies to see if a week's grace is acceptable/average time

she appreciates the have a wine message and the calm down and feels really reassured - so thank u xx

LavenderLu Thu 18-Sep-08 21:18:20

also love the line about your DH starting the day before he returned to work. ive not started yet - my boys the same age and im getting more nervous the more i hear! he can do a wee to order, so i really ought to get on with it, but im just a bit lazy and totally in my comfort zone with how life is at the mo!

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