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DS cant be bothered to use the toilet any more, he keeps wee'ing himself. Am I wrong to tell him off for it?

(10 Posts)
2point4kids Wed 17-Sep-08 19:10:21

He is 3 in a couple of weeks.
He was potty trained about 3 months ago. After the first week he hardly ever had an accident until recently.
In the last couple of weeks the accidents have been geting more frequent. He just seems like he cant be bothered to go to the toilet. He doesnt seem distressed or upset, just carries on playing and says 'I done a wee in my pants. Mummy get me clean pants?'. Sometimes he doesnt even tell me, just waits till I notice.

Today he wet his pants 3 times and poo'd his pants in the park (I'm positive he could have waited, he just wanted to carry on playing)

I have seen red with it all now and I have started telling him off for it and telling him it is naughty to do it in his pants.
Is that the right thing to do?

It just seems as though the novelty of something new has worn off and he just cant be arsed any more! I'm so fed up of it.

notnowbernard Wed 17-Sep-08 19:14:34

Have been there, totally (with the weeing only, thank God)

DD1 started brilliantly. Then DD2 arrived. Then got better again. Then novelty wore off.

Have to say, it's only since about 4yr old (maybe a bit later?) that she's been reliable

COMPLETELY IGNORING deliberate or 'not bothered' wetting was the only way with dd1, btw, when in a wetting phase

2point4kids Wed 17-Sep-08 20:25:07

What do you mean by completely ignoring it?
If he wee's himself and doesnt say anything should I just leave him until he asks for clean clothes? or just change him without saying anything?

notnowbernard Wed 17-Sep-08 22:17:09

Sorry, not very clear!

By ignoring, I mean paying NO attention to wet pants

"Mummy, I've wet myself"

"HAve you? Go and get changed then"

Carry on whatever you were doing as normal

If out, assist/lead in getting changed with minimum of fuss and chat

Basically, as little attention as possible

It's hard, I know!

minorbird Wed 17-Sep-08 22:27:20

Oh yes my DD regressed a little bit after she was potty trained. She went through a phase of just doing it in her pants even though she could have made it to the toilet. I did get firm with her after several mishaps and it soon subsided. I know you aren't meant to make an issue out of it but I think after the intial training part is done, when they slip back into old ways or testing you (as my mother thinks) I think it's ok, to expect them to use the toilet. Especially after being trained for 3 months. Its not like your DS wasnt ready or anything. Just a little regression.

For what its worth, my DD is wonderful now, she even reminds me she needs to go before we go anywhere and always asks if there will be toilets where we are going! smile

fadingfast Thu 18-Sep-08 09:17:08

We too have this problem with DS, nearly 4. He hardly ever has a full blown accident, but leaves it and leaves it until the last minute and often does a little bit in his pants. It doesn't seem to bother him one little bit. Some days he is worse than others and it drives me up the wall. I think it is because he can't be bothered with going to the loo.

I have generally found that ignoring it by just telling him to go and change works best - the more fuss we make the worse he gets. It is really difficult though when he is hopping up and down and yet still insists he doesn't need to go. We do tell him every so often that he must make time to go to the loo and not do it in his pants and he knows he's not meant to. I think it is very common and we're just hoping he will grow out of it soon! Interestingly he is far worse at home than he is when we are out.

lingle Thu 18-Sep-08 09:40:31

You're doing all the work here. don't get angry but as soon as it happens, insist that DS1 takes off his soiled clothes and puts them in the washing machine, then takes them out when they're done and hangs them up, then puts them back in the cupboard.
Try to demonstrate that it would be quicker to go to the loo and he'd get all his playtime.
This worked for DS1, hope it works for you too.

orangina Thu 18-Sep-08 10:06:27

You might want to check he hasn't got a urinary infection though (dd did this, and then we found out she had a UTI...). Take a pee sample to the GP, they can do an immediate dip stick test...

frantomlinson Sat 20-Sep-08 13:52:26

i have a 3.5 year old who is toilet trained and has never had a problem using the toilet for a long while. he is now weeing and pooing on the floor all over the house and saying he is doing it because he is a dog/cat/some other animal!!

Ohforfoxsake Sat 20-Sep-08 13:57:18

I think regressing is quite common, and he is still very little.

Agree with Notnowbernard, ignore accidents, but make a big deal of how great he is when he does go to the toilet.

Perhaps a sticker chart will help? Mine got a small reward when they got 10 stars.

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