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*Utter refusal to sit on potty or toilet*

(18 Posts)
Mumbree Thu 24-Feb-05 22:05:10

Hi Everyone - have been trying on and off to get started on the potty training, but 2.5 yr old she devil screams blue murder if you try and get her to sit on it (same with toilet) I have been encouraging (imagine if you will fully grown woman with knickers round ankles sitting on a potty) praised her to death the one and only time she did a poo on it - but to no avail. She tells me when she's been to the toilet, and she hates a dirty/wet nappy touching her. Admittedly it probably didn't help on the few occassions that my mum in law tried forcing her (I stopped it the minute I caught it) - but m in l is starting to drive me a bit nuts with the "in India we train them from birth" story that I have now heard a million times...any suggestions folks as to why the hysteria - and any top tips?

toomanypushchairs Thu 24-Feb-05 22:17:19

Sorry didn't want you to think no-one was reading your thread. Have checked it 3 times now. Can't really help though. Have just potty trained my twin boys. On the day I started neither of them had ever done anything on the potty, one would not even sit on his naked,he also used to scream, but by the end of the second day he was asking for it. Probably a bit of rivalry, but maybe if you just put her in knickers and stay indoors she will get fed up with being wet and sit on it? might be worth trying? btw my older 2 were not as easy!

morocco Thu 24-Feb-05 22:57:24

sounds like she's realised how high the stakes are and decided to act her age and be totally contrary. Is it possible to just give it a break for a couple of weeks at least til she forgets about making a fuss and winding you up?
no other advice as we are still in the 'forget all about it stage' but when i first tried to potty train I went totally overboard; asking if ds needed to use the potty about every 10 minutes etc and I think he just got sick of hearing about it tbh
I'm waiting for summer

and perhaps others can correct me here but when I was in India the babes had cute little trousers with a cut away bit in the bum so they could just wander round and poo/wee everywhere (I thought )- didn't see much evidence of from birth potty training at any rate.

WigWamBam Fri 25-Feb-05 13:56:52

If the occasions when your MIL tried forcing her are recent, then she might be associating using the potty with a negative experience which would explain why she's not too happy about the idea! I would be inclined to leave it for a bit and wait until she's ready herself.

If you think she really is ready, then maybe you could try leaving her in her dirty or wet nappy for a little while before you change her - if she hates it that much, it might encourage her to want to get rid of her nappies.

Pinotmum Fri 25-Feb-05 14:01:14

They would drive you gaga wouldn't they - toddlers not mil's (then again). I would suggest taking the pressure off for a couple of weeks. Let dd think she's back in charge and then re-introduce the potty. My ds was potty trained at christmas - all clean and dry - smug icon. Now he's back in nappies because the novelty has worn off. Yet when he poos he says yucky I can smell something stinky and when you ask what it is he says I think it's daddy. Well got to get your laughs when you can. I'm going again at Easter AND NOT GIVING IN this time.

pgra Fri 25-Feb-05 14:05:04

My dd is 2.4 & is getting on well with potty training at nursery which she attends two days per week but we are not having much luck at home. Someone told me to try a 'star' reward chart so I went out & bought some lovely coloured stars but she said she wanted the potty, sat down on it, asked for the star to be put on her chart (or rather cried until I put one on there) & then got up off the potty with nothing done in the potty!! so needless to say I have given up on the star reward but also don't know what to do next. I think I am going to leave it until the summer & just leave her with knickers on in the garden as someone else has said that their daughter didn't like the sensation of the 'wee' running down their leg & so always asked for the potty - sounds a bit hard to let them just wee in their pants but I might just try it when we are in the garden & see how it goes. Good luck all !

Pinotmum Fri 25-Feb-05 14:05:34

Oh forgot to say love the bit about potty training them from birth in India - do they really? What hard work

phoebeki Fri 25-Feb-05 14:14:19

My Mil apparently used to feed her three children from age one whilst they were sitting on the potty! This was because it 'annoyed' her that they always weed/pooed etc shortly after a meal so they were made to sit there for as long as it took until they performed!
Needless to say, I don't turn to her for advice!!
Grrrr....

NotQuiteCockney Fri 25-Feb-05 14:30:48

I used to read book to DS1 while he sat on the pot, to encourage him, whether or not he was wearing trousers. I just tried to make it a pleasant place to be, for him.

jenkel Fri 25-Feb-05 14:55:34

We have just been there and had given up for a while. I tried to potty/toilet train DD who is 2.9 years. No luck at all, she screamed every time I tried to put her on the potty and ended up holding everything in, which proves she has baldder and bowel control. I tried for 5 days and we only managed to have 1 tiny poo in that time (in the toilet) and lots of wee accidents. It worried me that she was holding everything in and the screaming every time I put her on the toilet/potty. So have left off, we have the builders in next week so not a good time to continue. Not sure what is going to happy next time we try, we may be back to square 1 again, but hope not.

BEKsmum Fri 25-Feb-05 15:06:54

Mumbree, know exactly where you are coming from as tried to train very soon to be three year old last week - a complete nightmare. On the first day I thought if I could get the first wee in the potty we'd be away as it would get his confidence up, so got down the clock and got him to sit on the potty every five minutes he later announced to daddy that at 1, 2 & 3 he sat on the potty at 4 he weed down his leg! .

Gave up that day and tried in the week, got some wee in the potty, some on the floor but lots of praise etc but after that day he wouldn't go near the potty and started to hold everything in.

Am going to try at Easter and like Pintomum, will not be giving in as he is the last one in his peer group to still be in nappies!

Have you tried getting one of the toilet seats as I tried putting DS on the toilet but he screamed the place down, thinking I was going to let him fall in - it was tempting . With the potty seat he is a little bit better but not a lot.

I'd agree with everyone else that if you don't need to force the issue i.e. for nursery or anything then just leave it a while - you don't see many 20 year olds in nappies doyou - but then again my DS might be the first!!!

StealthMouse Fri 25-Feb-05 15:11:12

Mumbree you are me. no useful advice as I am in exactly the same boat.

I resorted last night to going to mothercare and letting dd choose her own potty in the hope it will encourage her. we choose one of the chair-type pottys and I'm hoping it might be more comfortable for her.

kjq Fri 25-Feb-05 15:21:26

Me too! Same situation so its good having all this advice from other mums.

Mumbree Fri 25-Feb-05 16:00:23

Oh God - boy is all this ringing true. Problem is that she-devil is a little on the tall side, so keep getting the "what is that 4 yr old doing still in nappies" looks from all the local oaps. They then look at me like I am some lazy trollop, tut, and march off, and then comes the "India" speech again from the MIL.......(why is there no symbol for sigh?)

Rubbing my Cats nose in it helped train her......

Pinotmum Fri 25-Feb-05 17:15:10

Mumbree, my dd was about 2y8mo before she was trained but like you said she was tall and when I'd put the nappies on the counter at the supermarket the cashier would look at dd and say you're big for nappies, you should wear knickers now like a big girl. I would be saying she's only 2 but would be ignored. Why is potty training or lack of it of such public interest?

Mumbree Fri 25-Feb-05 19:52:53

Poor Pinotmum (am assuming its cos of the vast quantities that you have to consume to stay sane - me, I'd happily use meths...)As my husband says "If I want your opinion, I'll tell you what it is" Find that works real well with people from checkout girls to annoying know-all mothers. God, don't you just love the underhand (or just plain blatant) way people get their digs in....

Anyway - maybe I really enjoy changing multiple dirty nappies every day (x 2).............

BEKsmum Sat 26-Feb-05 19:36:50

I've got the same problem as you guys as ds is very tall for his age and looks 4 years old even though he's not 3 till next week.

Now I find myself saying things like I know you're only two but you can't do this or that when people look at him if he's throwing a tantrum or when they ask if the nappies are really for him.

Just like Mumbree I love the look of lazy trollop that passes over peoples faces when you say you're having a nightmare time potty training - I just tell them I love changing smelly nappies all day long!

Fran1 Sat 26-Feb-05 20:07:26

Mumbree i would either give up for a while. Or if you can bear to have the mess on your floor put her in knickers whenever you at are at home, keep a potty nearby and everytime she wets herself tell her in a calm (uninterested) voice thats what she should have done in the potty whilst cleaning up the mess. The latter just worked for my dd, she thought it was amusing at first to wet herself, until she realised that i was completely uninterested, but if she did it on the potty i cheered and told the world about it, so she opted for the potty!

I think it is important to not make too much of an issue otherwise you can really put children off the idea.

Good luck!

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