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I ^think^ I'm doing the right thing, but I'm uneasy and wondering what people will say.

(18 Posts)
BroccoliSpears Tue 16-Sep-08 08:37:26

Dd has been potty training fairly successfully for 3 months or more now. Over the last week she's been having more and more accidents. Yesterday every single wee was in her pants (including one in a shop and one on my bed). I got fed up and put a nappy on her. Dp and I had a chat last night and we struggle to remember the last time she requested a wee; it's all us prompting. Have had no poo accidents for weeks and weeks. She doesn't seem too bothered about the nappy - a bit fed up with having to lie still to put it on, but forgets once it's on.

Am I wrong to put her back in nappies? I don't think I am. I'm not doing it like a punishment, just a practical thing because I'm fed up with clearing up enormous wees. Surely if she hates the nappy she'll say and we can try again at her request?

She was great at potty training at first but it's like the novelty has worn off now and she can't be bothered. But it has been months of success... and now this...

My friends are all judgmentalists. They are going to purse their lips and raise their eyebrows and Smile Politely. They already think I'm a lax parent who needs to take dd in hand (a bit true). I obviously care about dd far far more than what they think, but any tips on how to breeze through this would be great.

BroccoliSpears Tue 16-Sep-08 08:38:10

Or tell me if I'm doing the wrong thing.

BroccoliSpears Tue 16-Sep-08 08:43:13

Oh, she's 2.4

lulalullabye Tue 16-Sep-08 08:47:04

We have the same with our dd. She does request to go to the loo but has more poo accidents. We have decided to keep going with it, but a friend of mine did stop, then two months later tried again and all done and dusted, poos and wees within a few days.

Who knows, as for the bloody tantrums, I am at a loss !!

jimjamshaslefttheyurt Tue 16-Sep-08 08:52:29

There's no way I would potty train for months on end (well except with ds1 but that was different). It takes a few days if they're ready. Try again in a few months time.

Sawyer64 Tue 16-Sep-08 08:56:20

I agree with lulalullabye,My DS started Potty training at 2 yrs,but had so many accidents I abandoned it.I tried again a couple of months later,and he was dry and clean in a couple of days and no more accidents.

For some children 2.4 is quite early,just read the threads about my 3yr old wont Potty Train!

As I'm sure you know,and have been told,but all children "train" at different times.Some are desperate to be trained,others aren't much bothered.Theres very few mums that are still worrying over this when they are 5 yrs old.

Perhaps wait for signals from your DD,and keep emphasising that ???? is such a big girl as she uses a Potty etc.as they get older they want to be just like their friends.

cmotdibbler Tue 16-Sep-08 09:04:54

It can just be a phase apparently - DS trained himself at 2yr 2weeks, and was fine, but then had a week of 4 accidents a day at nursery (where they are expected to take themselves and aren't prompted, at home with prompts to go when we were out he was fine). Nursery staff said that it was really common for children to do this once the initial excitement of using the potty wore off, and if you just kept on going it would be over in 1-2 weeks. Now we're back to the odd dribble when he's too engrossed in playing to go until he really needs to.

KnickersOnMaHead Tue 16-Sep-08 11:25:07

Message withdrawn

MaloryDontDiveItsShallow Tue 16-Sep-08 11:28:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bythepowerofgreyskull Tue 16-Sep-08 11:28:26

fwiw DS1 had been potty trained for 6 months when DS2 arrived.. he decided he wanted to wear nappies. we went with it but each morning asked if he wanted to wear nappy or pants..
after 2-3 weeks he asked for pants. I think taking the pressure off is the right thing to do.. just keep reminding her that she can wear pants if she wants to.

CarGirl Tue 16-Sep-08 11:29:23

When I have potty trained my dc I have done the prompting them about going to the toilet, I have made them try to do a wee before we go out etc but I've always left it so they take themselves/ask. I think if you are asking them then they are not actually trained - does that make sense?

Anyway I would remove the stress put her back in nappies and not mention potty/toilet at all for a couple of months and then retry.

RandomFlopsy Tue 16-Sep-08 11:31:04

I don't think she's ready tbh.

I left ds 1 until he was 3 and he trained in a week with no accidents. Ds2 is nearly 3 and showing the signs so I'll have a go at him very soon.

Wait until they are ready - it's so much easier. imvvho.

seeker Tue 16-Sep-08 11:31:55

Go back to nappies. Why add stress to your lives? She's still very young.

But you could use pull ups so that you can still occasionally remind her about the loo if you feel so inclined. And the judgy friends mightn't even notice. But if they do tell them that they can do your washing for you.

seeker Tue 16-Sep-08 11:32:28

And buy my forthcoming book "Potty Training in 10 minutes"!

WigWamBam Tue 16-Sep-08 11:33:02

She's still ever so young, Broccoli, and it sounds as if she's been responding to you telling her to use the toilet, rather than being able to work out for herself that she needs a wee.

Stuff your friends and do what you feel is right, safe in the knowlesge that, when she's ready, it won't take months for her to be properly dry. Once she can recognise the signals herself, rather than waiting for you to tell her when to use the toilet, she'll be away.

cockles Tue 16-Sep-08 11:37:49

SOunds like you did the right thing. Mine couldn't do it at 2.4. More recently, we've found that prompting is disastrous - he forgets how to ask. Now we don't prompt at all and he asks when he needs to go (though he likes to wait til very last minute). Almost every mother I know says waiting is better! You will have the last laugh when their kids are having 100 accidents and yours is safely nappied.

BroccoliSpears Tue 16-Sep-08 12:35:19

Thank you all.

She went out in a nappy today. She really didn't want to put it on this morning, but then she's 2, she really doesn't want to do most things we need her to do on a daily basis (eat, wear clothes, stop drawing on the sofa...).

All fine. I felt relaxed. No accidents until we were home and halfway through her lunch she stopped, grinned and announced delightedly that she was doing a wee. She looked down and it took her a few minutes of confusion to work out why her chair and dress weren't wet. I think she was a bit disappointed! Wanted to be changed straight away - fine. Asked to sit on the loo for a poo a bit later - fine.

We're doing the right thing.

On a slightly different note, I don't think she drinks enough during the day. I wonder if a lot of our "success" was due to the fact that she doesn't actually wee much. Will up her fluid intake.

ches Tue 16-Sep-08 17:15:40

I've always thought that it's easier to prompt them for the loo than to change a nappy. If the accidents are because you're not taking her to the loo, then IMO a nappy is a drastic measure. If she's refusing to go to the loo it's a different story. A nappy is not going to help her learn to ask for the loo, it's just going to teach her that she can wee whenever, whereever and there's no mess. IMO it will set you back with potty training, rather than forward. BUT if it works for you, it works and sod your mates.

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