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Won't poo anywhere but a nappy

(9 Posts)
suzi2 Wed 27-Aug-08 22:03:38

DS is 3, has been potty/toilet trained since Feb for wees. But he will not poo anywhere other than a nappy. He never has poo accidents really, just waits on his bedtime nappy (or pullups). If we refuse to put a nappy on him, he says he no longer needs and just holds. For about 4 days until he has an accident in his pants.

He also won't poo anywhere except in his wardrobe - or if we're on holiday, I have to clear a cupboard for him and tell him it's ok to use but he'll still hold a couple of days first.

Bribery, even serious "you can have an entire bag of haribo" stuff doesn't work. A coupld of times he's tried, but given up within seconds and told me he needs a nappy.

He's not dry overnight yet, but is 90% of the time and we're going to try him without nappy overnight once he's settled at nursery (that he starts in a few weeks). Just wondering what else I can do. I find myself stressing about it.

KnickersOnMaHead Wed 27-Aug-08 22:06:33

Message withdrawn

mamaberta Wed 27-Aug-08 22:10:22

No advice but we are in the same boat. I had heard from my sister that some kids hate the feeling of poo falling away - think their bottoms are going to drop off?? I think we'll just go with it. I've never heard anything great from parents of older kids about trying to force kids when it comes to pee and poo. It is one area where you want them to be relaxed. It is a PITA putting a nappy on a 3 year old for 20 mins so she can poo but I buy the cheapo plasticky ones. I think if we don't make a big deal she will grow out of it. She was dead against the idea of even talking about potties for a long time even tho all her friends were doing it and she turned out to be a fab little potty trainee because we left it till she said she was ready...... mind you, she has a worrying fondness for "a quick wee in the bushes" which suggests she may be a bit of lairy lass in the future grin

chocohead Wed 27-Aug-08 22:10:28

That is really strange i have just posted a similar thread about my dd, so will watch this with interest smile

twoluvlykids Wed 27-Aug-08 22:12:32

this is definitley a "boy thing", my hv told me long time ago they feel worried about their boy bits dangling into the loo.

don't worry,he'll get the hang of it & when he's older he'll pee all over the loo seat & floor, to give you something else to fume about

CarGirl Wed 27-Aug-08 22:14:43

please just tell him to ask for a nappy when he needs a poo and you will give him one. It's okay he won't go to school/get married still needing a nappy for his poos. It is one area you don't want them getting hung up about, holding on to it is really bad for their bowels.

DCsnatchsunhill Wed 27-Aug-08 22:32:12

Right, I have just been through this with DS2.
DS2 was exactly the same - toilet trained for wee but would only poo in a nappy. DS is four in October so we were running rather behind with this. He was already attending Playschool and was doing well - luckily he had never the urge to poo when he was there.
I felt that we should leave him to get ready in his own time, but DS was becoming bossier and bossier about his way of poo-ing...infact, it took over a day out at a theme park recently as he would only poo in a nappy and no other clothes on. Hence us standing in the middle of Alton Towers with an almost naked 4 year old in a nappy, in a phone box.

DS had his 3.5 year olf check with the Health Visitor and she simply told DH to knock the nappies on the head. So on a Thursday evening when I got in from work, DS needed a poo and DH was encouraging him to use the potty. (Sigh, could have been better timing and waited til the weekend but /dh was on a mission....).

DS2 refused to go and held his poo in all night, with much crying and wailing. In the morning, he still desperately needed to go but again held it in. He managed to get throughy playschool, but by the time he came home he was demanding his nappy. Boy, I felt so horrible. However, nature took it's course and we had positioned the potty right by him...and he grabbed it and DID IT! We cried with relief, DS2 was amazed. So much so, that he did about seven other poos in a row, because he now could. So, it took from 5pm Thurs until 1.00pm Friday to have mission accomplished. We then had the challenge of moving from the potty to the toilet, but once he'd sat on a little toilet seat (the cheapos from Tesco) then he was fine and loving it. So much so he'd take DS1 in to watch him do it.

This only happened about a month ago and it has seriously changed our lives! Now when he needs the toilet we just take him and he's pood everywhere on all big toilets. No more nappy faffing. Huzzah!

Sorry for long post. I just wanted you to know what I'm very understanding of your plight!

DCsnatchsunhill Wed 27-Aug-08 22:34:26

Cargirl - with regards to holding on to poo...we were told specifically by the HV to simply withdraw the nappy, although playschool were very sceptical of the method. In the end, I went with the HV advice...

Flibbertyjibbet Wed 27-Aug-08 22:44:54

I have no experience of this with my boys, but my friend's dd still only pooed in a nappy at 5 years old. At the time ds1 was newborn so you can imagine how judgy I was winkgrin. But then after 3 years of this, one day she just pooed in the loo.

I think if you make a fuss over pooing it causes all sorts of retention difficulties. If he needs to poo in a nappy then I'd just go with the flow and agree with Cargirl about damage to the bowels from constant retaining.

He is only 3, a lot of children aren't dry in the day by that age so I wouldn't worry about it.

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