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Should I give up potty training after 4 weeks as ds never tells me he needs to go.....

(17 Posts)
Redwood Sun 03-Aug-08 19:58:18

He is happy to sit on the toilet when I take him but has never told me he needs to go, and is still pooing in pants and has every day! I can deal with this as I treat it like a nappy and usually bin the v cheap pants. But im concerened he may not be getting a feeling of needing to go. He is 3.2 Any advice?

MamaGLovesMe Sun 03-Aug-08 19:59:22

I think the problem is you are treating the pants as nappies too.

Go back to nappies or start a new plan. JMO.

Redwood Sun 03-Aug-08 20:05:12

not too sure what you mean? when I say I treat the pants like nappies I mean I' dont get stressed just tell him he needs to do it in the toilet and he must start telling me when he needs to go?I've tried incentives - choc drops an d a star chart with toy he chose as rewards....

MamaGLovesMe Sun 03-Aug-08 20:08:11

What I mean is he poos in pants, you bin them like you would a nappy, therefore he htinks it is okay to carry on pooing in them.

When DS1 was learning he chose a toy from the ELC catalogue. I drew some squares on a piece of paper and every time he weed or pooed on the potty he got a star. Once he reached the picture we went and bought it. He had been getting a choc button every time but after 5 in a morning for barely more than a drip sometimes we moved on to stickers.

milknosugar Sun 03-Aug-08 20:11:08

wait til you can stay in the house for a week then take the pants off so he is naked from waist down. totally different ball game then. 2 of my 3 potty trained kids resisted, but neither lasted more than a week

juuule Sun 03-Aug-08 20:14:00

If you've been doing this for 4weeks and he's not got it yet, then it sounds as though he's not ready to me.
Why not go back to nappies for a bit and see if he starts to tell you when he's been.

Does he go to the toilet to wee?
Is it just that he won't go to poo? Does he know that he needs to go?

Redwood Sun 03-Aug-08 20:15:47

milknosugar, thanks that sounds good, as i guess he is pooing in his pants as they feel vaguely like a nappy? I do tell its wrong and make him go to the toilet and help me clear up etc but equally don't want him to start holding the poo in! Also what do you think about him not telling me when he needs to pee? do you think its normal after 4 weeks?

MamaGLovesMe Sun 03-Aug-08 20:17:25

TBH I would have expected some progress after 4 weeks.

IMO if you try when a child is truly ready it should take a few days.

expatinscotland Sun 03-Aug-08 20:17:55

I'd love to do the go naked bit but a) the weather here this summer hasn't been dry enough for long enough that I can let wee one run about naked from the waist down outside b) this is a rented house covered in carpet so can't do it indoors, either.

Am having the same problem, Redwood, but DD2 is 2.5.

MamaGLovesMe Sun 03-Aug-08 20:19:14

Nappy in the potty so it feels the same?

Redwood Sun 03-Aug-08 20:24:08

expatinscotland, my ds is 3.2 and this is the 3rd attempt to get him out of nappies!I am very reluctant to go back to nappies again but will if that is best, just thought summer hols would be good time to do it. Strange thing is he is dry at night, never wakes up for a pee and has been for at least 6 months. In the morning he gets up and goes stright to pee in the toilet and then gets into our bed for morning cuddle.

milknosugar Sun 03-Aug-08 20:24:55

yes, it will just be like having a nappy on for him. we used a bucket for ds3 to wee in, he wanted to stand up like daddy. we painted it and everything, very exciting. i would give up after a week if naked doesnt work. sometimes all they need is a few more months. you could consider cloth nappies if you stop trying. they can tell when they are wet then, might wake him up a bit. you can get cheap flat ones for about £10 in our market, not much more than a couple of packs of disposable nappies

juuule Sun 03-Aug-08 20:31:17

I'm not sure why you think that pants would be like nappies to him, milknosugar. Do you mean because they would be thrown away? Because I think they would definitely feel different.

Have you asked him why he doesn't tell you that he's ready to go to the loo. Maybe he really doesn't know when he needs to go. I'd go back to nappies one more time for a while, then try again. If he can't tell you when he needs to go after that then I'd have a word with the gp. In fact, it might be worth discussing it with the gp/hv now and see what they have to say.

milknosugar Sun 03-Aug-08 20:38:43

they will feel a bit different but pants on means there is still something close to their skin. and they catch the poo and keep it close to his skin. if it drops off (sorry) it feels different. my mum once said its like a bit of your body falling off. they can panic a bit the first time it happens but usually realise its fine after that.

MamaGLovesMe Sun 03-Aug-08 20:43:52

Enjoy the dry at night! 2 of mine are still wet.

ches Thu 07-Aug-08 05:07:35

Do you tell him when you need to wee? If nobody else does it, why should he? Can he use the potty himself? Could he just get on with it, rather than have to tell you.

Has his dad gotten involved? Apparently some boys don't crack it until dad gets with the program.

With the poo, does he go at the same time every day? Can you preempt him? Does he have a distinct poo stance/poo expression? Can you set him on the toilet with some toys or books and let him sit comfortably for five minutes or so? Sitting on a toilet is not a natural poo position and in the beginning it can take a while to get one out. DH still takes upwards of 20 minutes, but thankfully DS is not so bad. grin

Redwood Fri 08-Aug-08 22:55:57

thanks for all the advice, i did speak to a continence specialist and she suggested a nappy just for his morning poo, but he won;t put it on! Also v hard to make him sit on toilet for long and anyway he holds it in then. I asked him if he wants his potty and he said yes but then didn't use it, I think he is enjoying the attention so will lay low on this and try to be cool about it - v hard some days. He still needs me to remind him to go to the toilet, but is arguing less about this.I gusee we will get there ventually......

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