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(13 Posts)
Cranberry Mon 17-Jan-05 17:39:57

My ds has just truned 3 had totally regressed in the 'wee' department. We have no problem with poo's but he has been having more and more accident then today on collecting him from nursery he'd gone through all 3 sets of clothes. When I collected him his keyworker told me she had just changed his clothes and within minutes was soaked again. We were home within 10 minutes and again his was soaking. I just don't know what to do. If I ask he to go to loo he yells no and if I try and take him he has a tantrum. I've try to use a star chart but he says he doesn't like it. I just don't know what to do now. Should I put him back in pull-ups for a few weeks then start then training all over again?

starlover Mon 17-Jan-05 20:18:00

I would leave him in his wet clothes. Maybe he'll feel so uncomfortable that he will be compelled to start going on the toilet again?

Have you taken him to a doctor? It does seem a bit odd that he is wetting himself so often (ie within 10 mins!)

Stick with the star chart too though... he might decide he likes it when he gets a prize!

marthamoo Mon 17-Jan-05 20:29:57

You're not alone - I'll share my threads with you here
As you will see from that thread and the one I started in November (linked to on there) I've been struggling with this for months. Ds2 was completely and succesfully potty trained last summer - and then it all went pear-shaped.

I seem to be having some success with taking a toy away for each 'accident' (he gets a toy back for each success). Today has been the best day we've had for months - he has co-operated with going for a wee when prompted and has told me himself that he needs a wee. No wet pants and no confiscated toys.

I'm feeling tentatively optimistic now but was despairing when I started those threads. Good luck.

Jbck Tue 18-Jan-05 16:18:02

Cranberry I totally sympathise & am desperate for a similar solution although with DD it's all toilet functions. She just can't be bothered sometimes & 'goes' in her pull-ups then gets all upset cos she'd had an accident even tho' she could have prevented it. She was dry for months then one day wet herself 4 times & it just got worse from then, she didn't have an infection either just seemed to stop bothering. We ended up going back to pull-ups from proper pants cos everywhere was going to end up stinking. She still tells us sometimes that she needs & goes but if she's engrossed in something she'd doing then we've no chance. I've tried really hard not to get angry & I don't want to try & force her but she's just started nursery this week and it'd be so much easier if she was dry. Her keyworker says she'll just ask her when she's taking the other kids who're training so I'm hoping that someone else asking and her peers (no pun intended) going too will be more interesting than Mummy or Daddy always asking if she needs.
Good Luck & if you find a miracle let me know.

starlover Tue 18-Jan-05 17:14:11

jbck- have you tried her with nothing on her bottom half?
the problem with pull-ups is that they are "safe", like a nappy.
I know it's a nightmare having to keep change clothes and poo-ey pants, but the comfort factor really plays a big role... if she feels uncomfortable in her wet pants then she may be more keen to go on the toilet.
You could also go to somewhere like primark and buy loads of very cheap pants, and if she poo's then you can throw them away... seems extravagant I know... but if it works!

Jbck Sat 22-Jan-05 15:13:16

Starlover thanks, she used to wear her pants all the time so I persevered when she first started not going if you get my drift. It just got too much. We've got wooden flooring & tiles all through our downstairs so it wasn't too bad but upstairs was a nightmare & when she went to Gran's usually 2 days a week for up to 7 hours & I couldn't expect them to put up with it so that's why we reverted. She didn't even seem that bothered after a while. At first she would get all upset & hide under the table but then it got like she just didn't give a toss. I'm not that keen on pull-ups either as I feel they just rely on them but they were a better option than nappies. Possibly a bit of a breakthrough today cos we were shopping & I picked up nappies rather than pull-ups to see if she would say anything & she was not chuffed. They're for babies not big girls that can use the toilet she said. I was tempted to ask if she knew any of those girls but I bit my tongue, trying the no pressure tactic just now & a new star chart with ballet shoes hanging over it as an incentive. Fingers crossed things will get better as the last few days have been a nightmare with a lot of tears & tantrums and that's just from her Daddy.

sozie Tue 25-Jan-05 18:05:57

My ds has regressed since starting playgroup at the beginning of January. I had trained him over Christmas and he was clean and dry and would go to the potty without being reminded. I was too smug and I have jinxed him. He started wetting himself more and more but would poo in the potty and I thought I could live with that and work on the wees. Now he is pooing in his pants even when I say go to the potty now as I can see he is pooing. I feel like crying as I know he can do it. We have now put him back in pull ups and I don't know what my next move is. I feel he is taking the mick a bit though as while driving to the shops he told me he needed his potty . If I ask him why he doesn't want to use the potty he puts his hands on his hips and say in a cross voice I'm not your friend anymore or if I say why is mummy cross he says cos' I won't use my potty.

MrsBigD Tue 25-Jan-05 18:17:52

oh it's so good to know I'm not alone... dd was clean on the wee front but for the last week she absolutely frantically insists on nappies all the time.

This started before she started nursery last Thursday so don't think this is related. However today I got told of by the teacher that she really shouldn't be wearing nappies even when I'm there with her... have to add, she has problems with the toilets at nursery as the seat has a gap at the front and she has a tiny bottom so keeps slipping onto the cold ceramic and because she's so short her feet don't reach the floor even though it's a kids toilet. But my suggestion of bringing her toilet trainer seat in was blocked as they are worried they'd have to put it on for her. FFS she puts it on at home without my help! but the teacher does not 'want to go down that avenue'.

So tried to put knickers on her this arvo and had her screaming blue murder. So tonight I gave her a little speech 'nappies in the evening, knickers during the day for kindergarten tomorrow' and she said o.k. I'm sure by tomorrow morning she'll have forgotten...

Sorry to digress here

kalex Tue 25-Jan-05 18:26:28

Message withdrawn

samdarling Wed 26-Jan-05 15:04:58

My son too has regressed. He is 2 3/4. At nursery (2 days a week) he has no accidents. When at home with just myself & 7mth baby, he has no accidents. When we have playmates round, gets through 4 or 5 pairs of pants & trousers - absolutely soaked. Tried stickers & smarties - not working. Spoke to HV - she suggested dried pasta! You get an empty tall jar, and some pasta. Everytime he goes to toilet AND doesnt wet pants, HE gets to put a handful of pasta in his jar. When jar full, he gets a treat - trip to zoo, trip to swimming - anything he likes. Going to start that today and hope it gets him back on track. HV also said that sometimes a growth spurt can make children regress.....glad to hear I'm not the only one !!

sozie Wed 26-Jan-05 16:31:02

Let us know if the pasta works . Some how I don't think anything will work with my ds at the moment. Although I hate to admit it I may just have to accept defeat for now. However I'll be back (in an arnie type accent)

Jbck Thu 27-Jan-05 13:22:00

Yeehah! We had a whole day of pants yesterday & no accidents. Unfortunately today we've had lots of vomitting & clinginess so no pants today as I didn't want to upset her. Stop press shes just woken up and asked for her big girl pants on!
MrsBigD what an awful nursery I know they try to make them independent but doing things that would actively upset or discourage them is a bit harsh & as for saying no nappies! Hope she perseveres though and gets on better. My DD is teeny too and it's quite daunting for them even though the toilets are small if it's not the same as at home. DD likes to rest her feet (when she does go) on her step and feels more secure but the girls at our nursery hold them till they're more confident.

samdarling Sun 06-Feb-05 22:00:11

hi sozie....pasta didnt work. He now says "no smartie / sticker" if he wets himself. Some days are good, some bad. Think I will have to go back to basics of taking him to the toilet every 30 mins after a drink. I've heard girls are easier - will let you know in a yrs time !!

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