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Advice on potty training/mummy training please!

(18 Posts)
winestein Mon 03-Sep-07 14:34:10

DS is 2.9

My childminder has been telling me for a couple of months that he is ready to potty train, so for her 3 days last week she asked that he come in pull-ups. She took him to the toilet on the hour, every hour and he did all his wees in the toilet, but pooed in his nappy.

I couldn't keep up with the regime on Friday and it's gone a bit to pot this weekend, but this morning he absolutely didn't want his nappy on, so I put his pants on and told him what we were doing.

He squeezed out a dribble one of the times I took him to the toilet and then peed in his trousers - I think he must have been stood on his head because his T-shirt was soaked! I made no issue of this, but now he is shouting "don't like it, don't like toilet, no like it" and gets really upset.

I'm not altogether sure he is ready, but have I done something wrong?

Any advice appreciated!

winestein Mon 03-Sep-07 14:49:30

Slight pause whilst cleaning up toddler who I had just taken to the toilet and he didn't do anything - the time it had taken me to write the OP he had pants full of poo and had emptied his bladder all over his trousers [fixed]grin


clarinsgirl Mon 03-Sep-07 15:01:25

I am no expert, just the experience of my DS (2.5) who came out of nappies in July. My observations are:

1. Are you ready? I waited until after our holiday and until a work project was finished to make sure that I wasn't too stressed.

2. I found pants better than pull-ups as pull -ups are just nappies and don't give the instant wet feeling to help children learn.

3. I have encouraged DS to tell me when he wants to go rather than me always asking (I do still ask if its been a while or if we're going out), I found that made him feel like a 'big boy' as it gave him control.

4. Lots of praise and no telling off for accidents ( although he does now say "clever girl" to me when I use the toilet smile)

5. He got the 'weeing' straight away but was a couple of days before 'pooing' was mastered!

6. I made sure that nursery and my mum (who also looks after him) knew what we were doing and tactics so that DS got a consistent message.

Hope this helps.

ellasmum1 Mon 03-Sep-07 15:17:20

Personally I think if he is getting upset saying he doesn't like the toilet I would put it on hold again for a month or so. It is SO not worth hurrying this. Nearly all kids will do it really easily if you leave it as late as possible. I totally agree pull ups are a no no, very confusing for them. And my dd hated to be taken to the toilet or being asked if she wanted a wee. I found she was better if I just put pants on her and told her she was to use the potty and let her tell me if she needed a wee she responded better. Do not worry or get stressed over this unless he is starting school- just enjoy him while hes still your baby!

winestein Mon 03-Sep-07 15:18:18

Thanks Clarins smile

It's pretty much what I am doing. The pull ups are for the childminder who isn't that great at dealing with poo, but as I have just discovered, the pants keep it in as well as the pull ups so I am thinking pants all the way.

Lol at you being called a Good Girl!

Have I just got the wrong expectations?

Also, why would he be scared of the toilet?

winestein Mon 03-Sep-07 15:22:24

Thanks Ellasmum - problem I have is that whilst I am ready (I was initially going to do it over the summer hols) my Childminder has been saying he is ready for ages, and was keen as mustard to get him started. I would be happy to stop it now and wait, but I know that my childminder would just continue. Won't this confuse him; 3 days with her, 4 with me?

clarinsgirl Mon 03-Sep-07 15:28:00

Childminder not great at dealing with Poo hmm. Could this be part of the problem?

Regarding expectations - I'm a bit of a control freak, but tried to suspend this and not think too much about potty training. I just thought, well he seems ready and I'm less stressed than usual - let give it a go.

Ellasmum is right I'm sure that if he is getting upset, it may be worth stopping. DS went from nappies to pants (daytime) within a few days and accidents are now very rare (and usually my fault). I think this was only possible because he was ready. He wanted his nappy off and was also physically ready. Maybe your DS is 'scared' of the toilet because he's just not ready yet.

clarinsgirl Mon 03-Sep-07 15:29:23

Just read your last post - you are in charge not your childminder! I'd tell her what I wanted her to do (but I'm a stroppy cow)...

winestein Mon 03-Sep-07 16:02:39

Well, it's more my son's poo rather than poo in general - it's very often toddler diahorrea so I understand her reluctance.

Can you remember how the first few days went Clarins? Should I expect loads of weeing, and eventually he might ask for the loo?

Should I buy one of those throne potties to overcome Fear of the Toilet?

Perhaps I should stick to the Childminders routine? I do respect her opinions on stuff like this generally as she has looked after oodles of kids, including her own, and I only have DS.

The reason I started was this morning he said he didn't want his nappy on (cue hissy fit and screaming "no like it no like it! DS no like nappy!!")

I suppose I am not looking forward to trying to put a nappy on him too...

clarinsgirl Mon 03-Sep-07 16:29:47

We started at the weekend and spent the Saturday at home. He wet his pants once and asked the next time, but too late, so wet again. Then he pretty much got it as far as weeing went. He continued with 1 accident a day for a couple of days and now is fine. I was very pleasantly surprised with this, I think its best to prepare yourself for lots of cleaning up on the first few days!

Pooing - hmm. He did it in his pants for the first few days and would actually deny it! Once he'd actually done it on the toilet he got the hang of it but was more inclined to hide and do it than ask for the toilet! He soon overcame that though.

DS has a potty and we have one of those seat thingies for each toilet - he does get very excited about using the 'car' potty at his granny's house too.

I can't imagine trying this with diahorrea though - could you try again whe he's a bit 'firmer'?

Also, this worked for my DS but you will know what's best for yours. Even though your childminder has looked after many kids, your DS is unique and you and he will know best.

I would try not to have too many pre-conceptions. Just give it a go, stay calm, praise lots and be prepared to adapt.

BernieBear Mon 03-Sep-07 16:37:33

Not much help here! My ds is 3.6 and regularly poos his pants (twice a day). 7 loooooooong months this has been going on and 7 looooong months of continually buying pants! Off to see HV soon sad

<<Bernie thunks head on desk repeatedly>>

clarinsgirl Mon 03-Sep-07 16:41:19

Awww, poor you. No words of wisdom I'm afraid...

winestein Mon 03-Sep-07 16:56:29

Bernie! shock I hope you find a solution soon smile

Clarins - I have just found the way to overcome his fear of the toilet. I bribed him with the thought of a chocolate button per wee or poo in the toilet. He squeezed out a drop and got a button, but then threw a fit that it was just one. I repeated the wee or poo = button and he started screaming toilet and jumping up and down. After he had calmed down, I found a big full-bladder pool of wee on the floor just in front of the toilet. STUPID MUMMY! Opportunity missed but there's always another day. This is me adapting (as you say!) I suppose.

His Toddler Diahorrea is now at the stage where I get a big lump and then some squidgy stuff (sorry TMI!) so it's not that bad to deal with (compared to younger-days poos!)

I take your point about the childminder and different horses for courses - although the incentive is to continue as, because I know she will continue even if I ask her not to. If it weren't for that, I would have put it back TBH, but if I adapt, and adapt my childminders methods to suit mine (I reckon I can kit her out with 3 spare changes of clothes, some bunny bags to dump everything in and some disposable latex gloves and just not put any nappies in the bag. I might just give her a ring later though!!)

Thnaks for all your help and advice smile

PanicPants Mon 03-Sep-07 17:10:16

I'm potty training my 2 year old atm too. If naked and the potty is in the room, he will choose to use it for wees and poos. If in pants or trousers he wees and poos mostly in them

He sometimes asks for his potty, sometimes not.

So what I want to know is: Is he ready? Being that autumn is approaching and can't eally have naked toddler running around!

winestein Mon 03-Sep-07 17:13:04

PP - not that I am talking as an expert (obviously!!) but there was no way my DS would have been ready at just 2. I can't advise you (again, obvioulsy!) but I would personally wait.

winestein Mon 03-Sep-07 17:14:10

PS My son has just wee'd all over my beautiful mega-bucks rug - on the plus side he ran in to tell me about it!!

Another thing I might adapt, that. I might roll up the rugs for a while grin

SleeplessInTheStaceym11House Mon 03-Sep-07 17:27:50

my dd trained at 2.6 few accidents but she refuses to use the 'big toilet' at home so only uses her potty! while we're out however she'll use the 'big toilet' hmm

i would say go with the incentives, dd had stickers (also choc buttons at one point) and it worked wonders, been months since we gave stickers regularily but she sometimes still asks for them!

good luck it can be frustrating!

winestein Mon 03-Sep-07 18:18:16

Might try some stickers - although it seems I could train him to perform a circus act for chocolate buttons <$$$$$>

Thanks for the well wishes! He has only pee'd on the floor twice since my last post...

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