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DS1 - 3yrs old - WON'T poo in a potty or toilet! Help!

(15 Posts)
Laura032004 Sat 18-Aug-07 21:03:29

DS1 has been potty trained for wees for coming up a year now. We've never (well apart from once a year ago) managed to get him to poo in a potty. He is quite easy to understand, and knows exactly what is going on, but refuses to even think about pooing in the toilet. If he knows a poo is coming, and he is naked for some reason, he asks for a nappy on. If he's wearing pants, he'll just poo in them. We have tried all manner of bribes, and our answer to anything that he wants (he wants every toy he sees an advert for!) is not until you do a poo on the toilet. If it ever happens he'll bankrupt us if he remembers everything we've promised him! The last couple of times he's said that a poo is coming and asked for a nappy, I've persuaded him to sit on the toilet, but he's just held it in.

Any words of wisdom, or do I just wait? It's OK when he's in a routine of just doing a poo at night time, but he's just getting over a tummy bug, and pooing at all times of the day, so I've had to resort to putting him back in pull ups when we're out of the house. Not ideal, as then he won't go to the loo when he needs a wee.

NAB3 Sat 18-Aug-07 21:05:30

Put the nappy in the potty and let him sit on it to go.

Don't make a big dseral, just put the nappy on, the more you want him to do it the more he won't.

My dd would poo in her nappy 10 mins after it being put on (she was dry in the day before 2). Din't bother me too much as I use washables but we were a bit frustrated. Almost without us realising she started going on the toilet and now she only shouts us to wipe her bottom.

divastrop Sat 18-Aug-07 21:11:24

both my ds's did this.they would happily wee in the potty/toilet but ds1 would just poo in his pants and ds2 just refused to poo till he had a nappy on.

i didnt put them in pull-ups as i didnt want them to regress with the weeing,i just delt with the pants with ds1 and put a nappy on ds2 when he asked(luckily he was always very regular 8am and 6pm every day!)

tbh i dont remember exactly when it stopped,but im pretty sure both of them were pooing in the toilet by about 3/3.5.i think they just decided to poo on the toilet one day and that was it

strange,though,that my dd1 would poo in the potty from 20 months but wasnt dry till she was nearly 3.

Laura032004 Sat 18-Aug-07 21:13:03

We've tried lining the potty with a nappy, but no go. Do you think getting him to sit on a potty with a nappy is worth trying? A friends HV suggests breaking the whole thing down into 6 or so smaller steps. We're trying to insist he only has a poo whilst in the toilet (room!).

I use washables, but not for him, as I'm fed up of dealing with the poo. I feel that by using disposables, I don't get so mad about the situation.

Laura032004 Sat 18-Aug-07 21:16:02

Perhaps I should just buy lots of cheap pants then. I've been binning them lately if he does a poo in them - terrible I know, but it's my way of coping with the frustration! In my defence I used cloth nappies until he was wee potty trained.

I wonder what goes through their heads. He says he'll only do it when he's a big boy, but in all other ways, he hates being called a baby, and always wants to be a big boy. I wonder if it's anything to do with the arrival of DS2?

NAB3 Sat 18-Aug-07 21:16:19

How old is he?
Does he want to go back to nappies?
Does he talk to you about this?

NAB3 Sat 18-Aug-07 21:16:49

DS2? There may be a clue....

seeker Sat 18-Aug-07 21:19:20

My ds would only poo in a nappy until he wa nearly 5! I decided not to stress about it and just put a nappy on him when he said he needed a poo. I was so much less hassle than arguing with him! Remember - he won't be pooing in a napppy when he's 21!

Laura032004 Sat 18-Aug-07 21:21:56

He's 3 and nearly 5 months. DS2 is 14 months, so he was just on the scene when we started potty training. He's been virtually dry since day one though, so I thought he was ready. He's even good about switching between pull ups and pants, which I do quite often as he wets himself if he falls asleep (so I put a pull up on if we're going any distance in the car).

He doesn't mind wearing a nappy (he did last week as he had bad diahorrea), but doesn't want to wear a cloth nappy as they're for babies.

He will only say that he doesn't want to do a poo on the toilet. Is adamant about it, and will cry if we push it further. His best-friend is pooing on the toilet no problems, but the peer pressure doesn't affect him at all.

LilianGish Sat 18-Aug-07 21:38:59

Really sympathise, my ds was exactly the same - out of nappies at 2.5 but had to have a nappy on to do a poo (and demonstrated remarkable control if we refused to put one on immediately). Lots of "helpful" suggestions from parents/mil over the following year to refuse to give in and "see what happens" - what happened was that ds became very distressed, screamed and shouted, but absolutely never did as we asked! In the end I asked ds when he intended to start doing poos on the toilet and he replied that he would do so at Christmas (think one of the threats may have been that Santa wouldn't bring him any presents!) As Christmas drew near, tree went up etc started challenging him that it was in fact Christmas and time to poo - no result. Christmas Day - three months before his 4th birthday - he went downstairs, saw his presents and without any further ado went to the loo and pooed - we have never looked back. This story is probably not very helpful to you I know except to illustrate, perhaps, that he will do it when he's good and ready. In the end, although I was beginning to wonder if it would ever happen, I just stopped stressing about it and went along with him. In the meantime, you have my sympathy and I just wanted to wish you luck.

MarsLady Sat 18-Aug-07 21:48:41

DT2 was the same. They were 3 in Feb so that makes him 3 1/2yrs old. He only started pooing in the toilet and/or the potty a few weeks ago. It was so so frustrating... but suddenly it's not any more. No more accidents. He takes himself off to the toilet, uses his potty at night.

Fantastic!

So long and short... you have to wait it out. DT1 trained in days, go figure!

nell12 Sat 18-Aug-07 21:53:43

Did you know that blowing bubbles relaxes your bottom muscles (you are all pretending to blow bubbles now aren't you??!!)
I kid you not

Does he poo at the same time every day?? Sit him on the toilet with a pot of bubbles and let him play. He may not even realise he is pooing as he is having fun.

What have you got to loose?

Laura032004 Sat 18-Aug-07 21:59:02

My friends HV suggested the bubbles (I tried the action !) I'm sure it might work if he wasn't so stressed, but we will have a go. I tried to do it without the bubbles, but just simulating it, but perhaps actually having some will bring fun into it all. Blowing up a balloon was another suggestion she had. Finally a HV with some sense . Perhaps we'll all start taking them into the labour wards with us soon

Laura032004 Sat 18-Aug-07 21:59:28

Thanks for all these replies by the way. It's so good to know I'm not the only one!

MarsLady Sat 18-Aug-07 22:01:32

How did you know Nell? lol

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