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4 yr old poos in pants problem

(19 Posts)
e2moo Sat 11-Aug-07 19:46:52

My 4 yr old is toilet trained with regards to 'wees' however 'poos' are a real problem. He will not do these in the toilet no matter how many bribes, ignoring tactics etc are practised. I ask him regularly throughout the day if he needs to use the toilet and his reply is always 'no'.

Some days we do achieve one in the toilet and it is greeted with huge praise, clapping etc and he seems happy enough with the result but then the next day he reverts to happily filling his pants again! Please help...

filchthemildmanneredjanitor Sat 11-Aug-07 19:48:38

ds1 did this ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!

pain in the fucking arse!!

we did a star chart and every time he did a poo in the loo he got a star-when he had 5 stars he got a train for his set.
but he drove me to distraction-i know how you feel.

e2moo Sat 11-Aug-07 20:15:35

Will try bribing with the train and see what happens. Feel lots better after reading your message, thanks!

filchthemildmanneredjanitor Sat 11-Aug-07 20:35:48

i will see if i can find the thread i wrote at the time...

Bluestocking Sat 11-Aug-07 20:39:47

Oh lordy, my DS (3.4) does this - he's been dry for the best part of a year but WILL NOT poo in the potty/loo. I have tried star charts but his desire not to poo in the proper place seems to far outweigh his desire to acquire new trains/Charlie and Lola books/whatever. In my darker moments, I have visions of him still crapping in his undercrackers at university. Filchy, do you think the star charts helped your DS? I could resuscitate them.

e2moo Sat 11-Aug-07 20:49:53

DS ran to the toilet after I mentioned that if he managed a week of poos in the toilet he could choose transformer of choice. I can report we have had a poo in the toilet and as an added bonus he flushed it away too! Not holding my breath, but so far so good.

filchthemildmanneredjanitor Sat 11-Aug-07 21:09:54

i think it did. it's hard to remember. i was driven insane by it-literally.ds1 was only little and i think i had a bit of pnd-he used to jst do it all the time-i was constantly cleaning kacky pants!

he still did it sometimes even after starting school.

try the trains /whatever-worth a try!!!
oh and star stickers to wear on their jumpers! and kandoos for the novelty!

filchthemildmanneredjanitor Sat 11-Aug-07 21:10:25

e2moo-glad it's helping! keep me posted!!!

pagwatch Sat 11-Aug-07 21:17:24

I had to deal with this a long time ago.
What I realised was that son had no sensation that he needed to go. He had spent so long holding on until the last minute that he had overstretched his bowel and had lost the signals he needed. The good advice I got was to go back to basics and get him to sit on the toilet several times a day to kind of re-educate his system.This was something he had to do whether he felt he needed to go or not. It also made me less anxious about being out and about. If you are a real stickler for doing this at a sensble time, especially in the morning it really can help.

e2moo Sun 12-Aug-07 10:37:12

pagwatch-will give this a try too. Txs

bigmouthstrikesagain Sun 12-Aug-07 10:41:34

My ds (3 last week) - does this as well it is so frustrating. He will hold on to poo all day if we are out then when we get home he will poo in his pants (and wee while he is at it). I wash pooey pants and trews most days.

I will get a star chart out and try a bribe - but he is a stubborn little so and so just like his mum and dad

good luck

Bluestocking Sun 12-Aug-07 11:09:44

That's a good tip, Pagwatch, I wonder if my DS has lost bowel sensation. I will try some regular sitting sessions (with appropriate bribes!) and see if we get anywhere. Bigmouth, you are not alone, I too wash pooey pants and trews most days!

e2moo Sun 12-Aug-07 20:04:22

Day 2 of poos in the toilet .

Made up a chart yesterday with boxes for DS to put a 'tick' in when he does a poo in the toilet. If there he does a poo in his pants then he gets a 'x'. If he manages a week of ticks and no 'x's' (ambitious I know!) he will get his treat.

Now he tells me that he is going to the toilet to do a poo and could I put a tick on his chart!

Here's to day three...

bigmouthstrikesagain - DS is extremely stubborn and I was sceptical that this would hit home but so far so good and suggest you give it a try

themildmanneredjanitor Sun 12-Aug-07 22:19:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bigmouthstrikesagain Sun 12-Aug-07 23:34:36

Well today ds pooed at his gp's in their toilet - without prompting! He was visiting them me and dh were not there - he told his gran 'I need a poo' and went on loo himself I think he is scared of getting my pristine mil's house dirty

I had to restrain feelings of why can't he blardy well do that for me and just be happy - and it does bode well for nursery in sept.

Well done e2moo and e2moo jnr.

I will get a chart out on monday and think of a suitable reward. Hopefully ds will start 'performing' for me.[crossed everything emoticon]

e2moo Mon 13-Aug-07 20:06:57

bit of a backward step - DS pooed big time in pants at a friends house . Not at all bothered by the fact that there is now an X. Oh well, start again tomorrow!

Hope the rest of you are doing a little better .

slalomsuki Mon 13-Aug-07 20:11:23

Its a boy thing

DS1 who is 6 has just managed to stop doing it. It wasn't all the time just when in his opinion there was something more exciting to do or going on than going to the toilet.

We tried bribes, star charts, competetion with his brother who is younger, threats, trips to the doc etc and nothing worked.

Finally having been to the docs 4 times with this I have been given something to slow his gut down so he feels it coming more and he now reacts to the sensation and goes to the toilet.

It is the boys in his class at school who do this, not the girls

bigmouthstrikesagain Mon 13-Aug-07 20:14:57

Sorry E2 - I am sure your ds will get the hang of reward system - each day is a fresh start is a good approach.

Ds surprised me by saying he wanted to go for a poo again today - he used the loo and he has a special seat that he puts ontop of adult seat which he likes. All kids like a bit of ritual I find - so retreveing and placing the seat on loo is all part of the 'fun' He was rewarded with choc buttons. He is a instant gratification kind of child

I am not assuming we have cracked it yet though

westcountrymum13 Mon 20-Aug-07 11:18:29

Same problem here, with 3 yrs 3 mnths old daughter - arrgghh! Driving me up the wall washing pants out all the time :-( She waits until I am out the room too, so must have some control over it. Reward thing not really working either.

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