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Ds is potty training but won't poo in the potty/toilet...just hos trousers :(

(28 Posts)
fireflyfairy2 Mon 28-May-07 15:28:37

He has been dry for just over a week now, even during his daytime naps, which is excellent

but he will not poo in the potty at all

When dd was potty training she used to wait & poo in her nigt nappy & I would change her before she went to bed. But ds is not like her, he poos at all different times!

He knows to run & pee in the potty but just seems to know after he has had a bowel movement.

Help.. any ideas????

chatelskier Mon 28-May-07 15:47:03

Although I was always told children are clean before they're dry, none of my 3 was, and I haven't yet met anyone who had a child who was. My last one was extremely reluctant, so eventually I just left him without anything on his bottom half, but made sure the potty was near, and he knew where it was. He held on for a couple of days, and then just suddenly belted for the potty, and hey presto! Lots of rewards and praise, and the job was done (In more ways than one!)

ZacheryQuack Mon 28-May-07 15:48:30

DS was like that - took about a few weeks for him to "get" pooing. Yucky while it lasted but then it suddenly clicked for him. Was similar for most of hisfriends as well.

fireflyfairy2 Mon 28-May-07 15:49:55

I always leave the potty right beside him.

I even ask him now & again if he needs to use the potty.

He will go & wee in it no problems!

Dd came in there now & said Mam, XXXX has pooed his trousers, I can smell him! So I went out & asked him if he was dirty, he said No But he was

Will just have to try again!

FrannyandZooey Mon 28-May-07 15:51:03

Let him ask for a nappy and use that. Little boys are notoriously scared of pooing in the toilet. I think they hang on and on until they can't hold it, hence in the trousers. If telling him he can have a nappy when he wants to doesn't have any effect, I would leave the whole thing 6 weeks or so and then try again. You really do NOT want to get to the stage where he is holding on because he is scared of pooing. Trust me.

fireflyfairy2 Mon 28-May-07 15:54:54

Yeah, I understand.

I asked him today when he went for a nap if he wanted a nappy on & he said "I not like nappy" So I left it.

Do you think it's wise to put him back in nappies? Even when he is wee'ing in the potty every time?

We had him out at a farming show on Saturday & he did great, no wet pants at all.

I will ask him if he wants a nappy on for poo's, hadn't thought of that.

nailpolish Mon 28-May-07 15:56:22

dont go back to nappies

jsut try and stay relaxed, evne when he does poo his trousers, dont make a fuss, if you are uptight about it he will be too

good luck. he will figure it out for himself

fireflyfairy2 Mon 28-May-07 15:59:11

Nah, I just dump him in the bath & rinse

FrannyandZooey Mon 28-May-07 16:00:04

Well, it's up to you, but if he remains incapable of pooing anywhere except in trousers yes I certainly would go back to nappies. It may help if you just let him ask when he needs one.

And I know it sounds petty but I wouldn't call it "dirty" if he has done a poo. It's all a bit hard for them to get the hang of this when they are little and feeling dirty if they make a mistake, isn't going to help, I don't think.

fireflyfairy2 Mon 28-May-07 16:03:18

Franny, it's colloquial language here, everyone says "Do you have a dirty nappy?" "Have you got a dirty bum" Etc... not dirty in a prudey way, it's just dialect here

FrannyandZooey Mon 28-May-07 16:11:39

Yeah....but....he will know the OTHER meaning of dirty, and all the connotations

it's up to you what you call it, of course, just that if I was struggling with potty training I would be trying very hard not to make my child feel bad about it

nailpolish Mon 28-May-07 16:12:16

i wouldnt say "dirty" either

fireflyfairy2 Mon 28-May-07 16:14:09

Well, I suppose anything's worth a try.

Will leave c/minder, grandma, MIL, etc a post-it not to use that word either..

Can just see dh's face...

fireflyfairy2 Mon 28-May-07 16:15:32

Just out of interest, what would you say?

FrannyandZooey Mon 28-May-07 16:36:44

erm, "have you done a poo?" "have you got a pooey nappy?" etc

I feel a complete pseud now you are planning to tell your MIL etc not to use it If it IS that prevalent locally there is probably not much you can do about it - somebody is going to say it to him - but maybe you yourself might like to use a different phrase? You are going to be the most influential person in his life.

nailpolish Mon 28-May-07 16:39:16

i woud say "have you done a poo in your pants?" instead of "have you gota dirty bum?"

ProfessorGrammaticus Mon 28-May-07 17:00:01

Agree you just have to wait it out - not a fun stage!! - but it does pass and laid back is def best approach. Buy really cheap underpants and bin them if you get really fed up (as I did with DS2). Usually only lasts a few weeks I think

fireflyfairy2 Sat 02-Jun-07 11:52:01


I have been offering him nappies all weeek to poo in!

Then yesterday when my mam was here he wanted to try the potty to poo in to show granny So we let him try.

He was panicking like mad the wee pet & he couldn't perform at all. But I put a nappy on him last night as I thought he might need a poo as he hadn't pooed since Wednesday night. He didn't

But this morning he came into our room @ 8am and asked for his potty, which I give him. Her removed his nappy & pooed on the potty!!! Without any encouragement from me at all!!

Hopefully this is the start of things to come

FrannyandZooey Sat 02-Jun-07 11:56:43

Oh that's good news! Fantastic

Have thought of a few more things - if you give him lots of fruit and veg it will make it harder for him to keep hanging on

You really don't want to end up with him constipated from holding on out of nerves

Hope things continue to work out

fireflyfairy2 Sat 02-Jun-07 12:07:23

I have given my dd some concentrated pear juice as she suffers from constipation & the lactulose the doc give me for her didn't seem to do her any good.

I think this might be too harsh for ds though. He already eats lots of fruit [it's only midday & he has had banana with his weetabix, strawberries, grapes & some mandarin oranges]

Veg is slightly harder though

softmusk Sat 02-Jun-07 22:13:21

my dd would poo at home but not out of the house

i did the bribe thing i told her if she had a poo outside the house she could have a sweet

i carry a packet of smarties round with my and if she poos out side the house she get one

she thinks this is great as never gets sweets

no should prob not do it this way but it works

miliemoo Sun 03-Jun-07 09:35:15

im having same problem my dd1 wees in potty will pooh in potty occassionally only if no bottoms on but then she can pooh on floor. seems like she has no clue its about to happen untill it does. no patience to sit on potty and relax always too busy she poos in knickers 90% of time help been doing this for weeks only few wee accidents any ideas..........

BernieBear Sun 03-Jun-07 12:48:18

Oh I do hope some ideas come along soon. I came on here to start a thread on exactly the same topic!

My ds has been dry for about 2-3 months now, but poos in his pants all the time. I have tried rewards,praise, singing, books, charts(even designed with ds, a Thomas chart with a picture of pants and a toilet and tracks leading from each etc. showing his progress. He is on the buffers and no where near the train shed with Thomas!)I have tried EVERYTHING. I am going out of my mind. I am buying pants like they are going out of fashion. (he is 3.2) He knows when he is going to poo - it seriously seems like he doesn't give a sh*t (literally ) He poos about 3 times a day!

He poos at pre-school and I am always faced with the "bag of doom" at the end of every session and a very disappointed face on the teacher. Please someone help. I would happily put him back in nappies, but he has done so well with wees I don't want to put him back a stage.

Jellymummy Wed 27-Jun-07 21:37:03


I am having very similar problems to this at the moment. DD is 20 months and has been out of nappies for two weeks. She was doing great last week. This week she is still doing great with her wees and we have had no accidents on that front but she is pooing in her pants.

When in nappies she generally poos 3 or 4 times a day. I noticed last week that she was only doing 1 a day. This week she has been getting very distressed saying she wants to poo but will not sit on the potty to do it. I have tried sitting and reading books to her whilst she is on the potty, I have tried leaving her on her own to do it and I have sat her on the potty whilst I am on the loo but nothing seems to work. She was getting upset this evening and I asked her if she wanted a nappy on but she refused.

The strange thing is that she has been doing a poo on the potty a couple of times a week since she was 16 months old so I don't understand what the problem is now.

If anyone has any ideas I'd love to know!

bigmouthstrikesagain Thu 28-Jun-07 21:55:25

I hope you don't mind me jumping on the poowagon here firefairy!?... but I too was going to start a thread on the same topic!

My ds is going to be 3 in Aug and he has been dry day and night for a couple of weeks but he won't poo in the toilet. He is too big for potty (they are not very well deigned for boys imo - I was more successful with a pot for ds to wee in while holding it himself and now he pees into toilet standing up). But he will only poo in his pants - allways at home so far but he will start Nursery in sept.

I am wondering if a special toilet seat or something will make him want to poo there - he doesn't tend to hold them in - as a veggie he probably doesn't have much choice - too much lentil, and wholemeal iykwim!!!

I am really depairing tbh i don't want to go back to nappies i am using washable pull-ups for longer trips out but i am fed up of tinking trousers and steaming turds in the garden!!!!!!!

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