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Wont poo in potty only in pants....

(11 Posts)
mum2oliver Sat 20-Jan-07 20:56:52

What can my friend do as her dd wont poo in the potty or toilet as it scares her and she doesnt like it....

sleepyted Sat 20-Jan-07 20:59:03

Ds is scared too, I thought he was suddenly constipated, what with all the noise when he pooed but it seems he was scared. All I could do was sit and hold his hand and be v, v reassuring, along with lots and lots of praise when anything happened. I suspect she has already tried that though! Sorry I am not any help!!

WigWamBam Sat 20-Jan-07 21:10:56

You might be surprised at how common this is - there are loads of MNers who have had similar problems with their children.

It took my dd 15 months to poo in the toilet after she was dry and out of nappies during the day - she was almost 4 before she cracked it. She used to get hysterical and scream the place down if we even suggested using the toilet, and she would only poo in a nappy, in one particular place (not the toilet, unfortunately!), and at one particular time of day. My advice would be not to do anything at the moment - just let her become comfortable with the idea of using the potty/toilet for a poo in her own time.

If your friends would feel happy letting their dd have a nappy for a poo (we did, and it didn't confuse dd - it actually made her more relaxed about things) then I'd say let her know that she can always ask for a nappy for a poo if she wants one. Or maybe even put her in a nappy and ask her to try for one, if she goes at a particular time every day. It helps to see training for wee and for poo as two separate processes - the fact that she is ready to wee in the potty doesn't automatically mean that she's ready to poo in the potty.

Regardless of whether she's physically ready, if she isn't emotionally ready then there's no point in forcing it. It only leads to stress for her parents and for her - and the more stressful things get, the less likely she is to want to use the potty. We tried bribery (the chocolate stayed in the jar until it went past its sell-by date), star-charts (she enjoyed making it, but it made not a blind bit of difference) and everything else you can name - nothing worked because she simply was not ready emotionally. In the end it was nicer for all of us to do things on her terms until she felt ready to try. If you make an issue out of it, it will become one.

mum2oliver Sun 21-Jan-07 19:26:09


evissa Thu 25-Jan-07 13:59:36

Do you know what I think it is, I think they are not used to letting go - if you know what I mean. My DD did the same until one day (in the summer, I was lucky) She came in screaming that she wanted a poo and wanted her nappy on. Hate to say this but I did not give in. I Kept taking her to the loo and she kept refusing (I just did what I thought was right for me and DD). Eventually, after a few poo's on the floor! she gave in. Lot's of praise and applauses (which i am sure you know) and after that, she wanted to do it all herself. I feel V lucky but can sympathise with all mum's with the same prob as that was the one thing that I really did not know what to do. It will happen when it happens and I think there is far too much stigma attached to saying "little johnny is dry all night know" they are all different and there is no point in getting herself worked up about it all.

sunchowder Thu 25-Jan-07 15:32:16

I did exactly as WWB with my DD. She was trained for number one at 18 months, but as far as number 2 goes, she wasn't ready for another six months. She would ask for a diaper, poo in it and then take it off with me (very proud). This phase lasted about six months and then she was ready to use the Potty. I kept the Potty by our toilet until she was about 3 (just for her security). My DD didn't like the sound of the toilet and she was afraid things would come out of the hole. I kept her in a diaper at night until she was 4 and we had two weeks of dry diapers--I never put pressure on her to keep dry at night.

megancat Thu 08-Feb-07 14:20:17

Having same problem with DS who is 3 and 3/4yrs. He is holding on to poo till night nappy. I don't mind waiting will he is ready for using the loo but think it is stressing him now as he is def holding back when needs to go and we have had pooey pants lately. I started making him sit on loo calmly whenevr I see he needs to go but so far no real progress. I am keen to get this sorted as I think its interferring with his playing and enjoyment of life. Any thoughts anyone? Have tried incentives etc, not working. Am worried if I force it by removing night nappy then he is struggling with not pooing as well as worrying about wetting the bed - he is not dry at night at all and we have not yet embarked on night training. Was planning to hang on till we had some dry night nappies.

flumpybono73 Sun 11-Feb-07 00:56:16

I'm having similar problem with my son who is nearly 3 and a half. He wears pants during the day and happily wees on the loo, but will not poo in a potty or the loo. He waits til he has his night time nappy on and then relieves himself. We've tried stickers on the potty, stories on the potty and loo, bribery etc but nothing seems to work.. I don't know how to crack this one...

sazjaz Wed 14-Feb-07 08:12:44

i have a 7 year old girl who has never done a poo in the toilet just in her pants .if she trys she starts gaggin .really stressfull .she has been prescribed movicol . i have a 4 yr old girl thats starting to copy .

donnie Wed 14-Feb-07 08:38:08

this is a hard one - I have also had this with my dd who is now 5. She is ok at going to the loo but still has phases where she will hold it in until she has a poo accident.No bribes or punishments seem to have any effect whatsoever!

Judessis Tue 27-Feb-07 20:04:29

THanks to all you out there with a similar problem, its reassuring to know we're not alone - my DS (2.5) potty trained himself for wees in November by refusing to wee in his nappy fr 9 hours and promotpy giving him self a wee infection LOL and has been dry during the day apart from a couple of accidents since. However,he always poos in his pants....

DH finds this "wrong" and has stopped off the the gym this evening in a strop as I asked him not to go on about it to DS when he poos somewhere other than the potty - he pooed in the bath this evening which is gross but not unheard of - and DH went to get DS ready for bed and went on about it. Thing is that DH is REALLY hung up about poos and has to be on his own with music on, curtains closed and undressed before he can go (yes I know ) and I don't want DS to end up with a hang up.

SO if anyone has any other advice/support/suggestions etc I'd love to hear them!

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