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using cloth with an extremely reluctant DP(10 Posts)
can it work?
Have gathered together some second hand nappies on here and DP is totally unimpressed with the idea and us pretty much refusing to even try then but as DP works and DD is exclusively BF i do about 95% of changes anyway.
Has anyone else had this issue and how did you manage?
I always get sad when I read about this and my DH can be similar (although it's mostly just talk - he's still on board but just needs to sound off.. and the hilarious thing is it was HIS idea before DS1 was born!!).
Anyway, for reluctant / nappy challenged partners I'd recommend all in ones with velcro. They go on EXACTLY the same as a disposable. Breastfed pre-weaning you don't need to use a liner, so let me stress again they go on exactly the same as a disposable.
Also maybe to start off with just use cloth during the day while DP is at work. Then you can do all the trial and error and work out the kinks, so that once you ask DP to use the nappies you'll know what works for your DD. I find it can give DP/DH ammo to discredit real nappies if something goes wrong (e.g. leaks) as if that's proof that the whole system doesn't work.
Also how would the environmental argument work for your DP? There is a big study out there that shows that using reusables is at least 40% less impactful on the environment than using disposables. Also disposables take approx 500 to degrade in landfill and there are some photos out there that show you how big a pile of disposable nappies from birth to potty training is.
If not environment, how about money? Especially if you buy second hand and/or more affordable nappies you can save hundreds and especially when you use them for a subsequent child.
I second the idea of using the washables during the day, so you can get used to them. You might find, as we have, that you end up using disposables at night anyway. I love our washables but they don't last much over 3 hours with the gargantuan amounts of pee our DD does.
My DH is reluctant, he's not overly bothered by the environmental or chemicals in disposables (we've been using disposables for 22 months since DD was born) and even the cost (he is usually a skinflint) didn't sway him. I think, tbh, for the same reason that I was initially put off them, he has used disposables for his DC from his first marriage and for DD until now and he is just used to them and sees them as more convenient/easier than cloth.
However, I am a SAHM and DH works full time and is also away a lot, so I felt it was really my decision. I bought a few nappies to try, but DH hasn't used them yet and when he got up with DD this morning had a blind panic about changing her nappy as he thought she had cloth on and he wouldn't know how to change her. Until my new nappies came today I didn't have enough for full time, so we've been using disposables too, but now I have enough I won't be using disposables anymore, including at night and DH knows this, so he will have to get used to them, although I suspect we'll have a lot of grumbling...
My DH was the same. What swayed him was the cost argument. We started with easy nappies - BumGenius V4 and Tots Bots Easyfits. Both aplix fastenings (Velcro). I make up the nappies and pop them in the drawer ready to be used. They are just as easy as disposables. I stuck to disposables at night.
After 6 months we have moved on a bit. We are using two part nappies (Little Lambs & Bamboozle Stretchies) overnight with wraps (Little Lambs, Motherease & Blueberry).
It's just a case of getting used to something new. I still do all the nappy laundry so that's my next step with DH!
Sorry to hear your dp is still not keen.
One of friends had severe reluctant partner issues and she just prepped them all and then put them in a box to just pull and go, she does all the washing any way so basically he just got used to it!
So if your keen I would say just go for it, let him see its not a big deal.
Can you get trial packs in your area so that he could try a load if different ones and be involved in the decision the choose?
Hi everyone quick update.
DP its still not keen on the idea of doing cloth changes but he realises now its not as messy as he first thought. A very kind MNer passrd on some Bumbles to me which I've been using since Monday and love (just done my first night time too ) and i have borrowed a few BG Freetimes from a friend to check it the AIO side and DP recons he could use one of those if he had too but not.a Nippa which is a big step forward!
But we do have a pack of dispisables he x can use at the rare changes as he's out the house 7-5 most days so I'm not worrying too much
A big thank you to a few MNers who have given me lots of advice and stuff to get goingwhen i said cash was tight
Lose the disposables. Temporarily. Or make him go out and buy them and cart them home. Basically, do not have disposables about that he can use.
And if you've done the change before, he's changing a cloth nappy anyway when he takes that one off.
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