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Nannies invite for Xmas?

(8 Posts)
Annie105 Mon 04-Dec-17 09:07:49

Hi all

Our nanny has no immediate family and her extended family all live abroad although she isn't that close to them as she went to an international boarding school from age of 5. I think She is spending Xmas alone as she said she usually has Xmas with a nanny friend from oz who has gone back this year and glossed over what she is hoping to do this year.

I want to invite her to ours for the day but don't want her to feel we are doing it out of pity!! We aren't we just enjoy her company and would be lovely to have her there.
Am I going to make her feel obliged to come if I ask?!

Kelsoooo Mon 04-Dec-17 09:10:26

Depends how you phrase it, personally I think it’s lovely.

We are very unexpectedly hosting our new au pair for Christmas, and I’m a bit freaked out at the prospect.

Just say it like please don’t feel obliged to come, but if you’re at a loose end we would love your company.

And make it very clear she won’t be working.

Annie105 Mon 04-Dec-17 09:31:35

Thanks kelsooo that's a great way to put it!!

Why are you freaked out?!

addler Mon 04-Dec-17 13:02:29

One of my families asked me to join them as I had recently moved to the country and was going to be alone. They phrased it as 'you're part of our family, there's no way we can let you sit at home alone on Christmas' it was a lovely, lovely day.

Kelsoooo Mon 04-Dec-17 16:48:29

Annie, I’m freaked out because I don’t know her expectations of Christmas and I don’t want to disappoint her.
And I am a highly socially awkward person

LevelHeading Mon 04-Dec-17 16:51:58

I think it is lovely to invite her but I would make it clear that she is a guest and won’t be expected to mind the children.

Annie105 Thu 14-Dec-17 21:11:07

Kelsoo ah bless you am
Sure you won't disappoint just keep Xmas music going I always find that helps if conversations are a bit awkward!

So by way of my update I asked her casually what she is doing as I was discussing a friend of mine going off with some guy she literally just met at end of November on a 4 week travelling holiday (friend is bonkers and while other story) and she said she is staying at an old employers (she was an au pair 10 years ago and lived there 3 years) house minding their dog as they are going to visit their family in France. She actually said she is buying an m&s Xmas meal and chilling out with the dog watching movies and eating.

She sort of glossed over my invite when I said please come here it would be lovely to have you on a day where you aren't working we are having a very relaxed day just us and my partners parents and possibly one of his aunts.

I feel really sad she is on her own. I really got the impression she was trying to make light of it and would rather not be with us but with her "own people". Of which she doesn't really have. 😭 God I'm so emotional about this maybe I'm over reacting it's just one bloody day after all?!

Kelsoooo Fri 15-Dec-17 10:49:56

You offered, you can do no more.

Perhaps closer to the time just say that you genuinely meant the invite and you'd love to spend some time with her in a none work capacity. Then it's her call again, but the fact you've offered again would make it obvious it's not a pity invite.

Also perhaps mention you need moral support cause the in-laws annoy you or somesuch

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