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Feeling micromanaged- help!!

(6 Posts)
Queenofkingsandstories Tue 14-Nov-17 19:21:28

Hi,

As the title says, I am two months into a new job, as a nanny to two children. I have been working with children since I left school and am now in my mid twenties, have never worked as a full time nanny before but have in nurseries and schools, as well as a part time role with a family while studying, (I have a degree in a field related to children)

As the title says, i feel totally over managed by my boss. He is constantly telling me how to do things, what to do, sending texts throughout the day reminding me to do basic tasks (e.g. School ends at 3.00, don't forget to give the baby her bottle before her nap, you can give the 5 year old apple juice with dinner, don't leave the baby alone in the bath etc). You get the picture.
Does anyone have any experience with addressing this kind of thing nicely, or working out the motivation behind it? I have never been late for this job or for school or pickup, and have actually only been late to work once in my life. I never called in sick in 4 years of my previous job, and can think of no reason why they would give me a reference that suggests I'm unreliable or incompetent?

I know this is rationally not a big issue and possibly an anxiety thing about leaving the kids with someone new? But it's really getting me down, I spend half the day responding to texts confused

I

Queenofkingsandstories Tue 14-Nov-17 19:23:06

Meant to give a bit more background on why I felt I was good at my previous job, and they wouldn't have given me a poor reference, as opposed to just never falling in sick!", sorry!

Nanny96 Wed 15-Nov-17 19:10:26

Maybe you could ask him to write a list before he leaves for the day so he doesn’t feel like he’s constantly needing to send messages. Not too sure how to go about it without worrying that it comes across bad. He could also stop after another month or so once he knows he can trust you fully. I’ve worked for a family that micromanaged me to the point that the mother was writing down times to be doing things (4-4:30 play with toy cars, etc.) it was very difficult so I completely understand where you’re coming from.

JoJoSM2 Wed 15-Nov-17 20:33:48

I don’t think it’s a reflection on you but the dad just being anxious/controlling and struggling to let go. Don’t take it personally.
Perhaps asking for a list is s good idea. You could also say that you understand he wants to make sure the children are well looked after and things run smoothly but you feel a little too managed when you receive the texts etc.

ForgivenessIsDivine Mon 20-Nov-17 20:34:09

Maybe you and the 5 year old could write a weekly timetable / plan and put it up somewhere. We have an easel in the kitchen we use for this...
Leave a space for reminders and notes from Dad. Write a detailed diary for a few days, then have a chat with him.

Perhaps suggest you could send a few photos during the day with one-liner texts as to how the day is going if he wants reassurance, though gently remind him that if you are texting updates to him or reading his instructions, you are not looking after his children...

MumOfTwoooo Thu 07-Dec-17 17:45:22

I agree with previous posters, I would imagine its because he is nervous about someone else being in charge of his child and will calm down after a while.

Suggesting the list in the morning is a good idea because it will give him peace of mind that you know what needs to be done and he doesnt need to interupt his own day to remind you - win win!

I would give it a little while longer and if it continues or gets any worse it could be a good idea to talk to him about it

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