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Annoyed by the children, please help

(13 Posts)
Nanny96 Tue 07-Nov-17 21:23:27

Hi there, I’ve been a nanny for 3 years now and with this family on and off for 2 years. I’ve recently accepted an aupair job for this upcoming January which I’m very excited about but sad to be leaving my little ones for good. I love them to bits but recently the 3yo has been driving me up the wall. From whining, meltdowns, and constant questions it’s all becoming to much. I have been under a lot of stress getting a visa and preparing to leave so I understand that it could play a big role in it, as well as being excited to start my new adventure. I’m wondering if there’s anyone else that can feel this was as a nanny or parent and if there’s anything I can do to shake this. I obviously want to be 110% in it and focused on the children but I can’t help but feel pulling away.

becotide Tue 07-Nov-17 21:25:23

You are the main carer of a child for their whole life, you're leaving, and you're annoyed because they're sad??

Nanny96 Tue 07-Nov-17 21:45:36

They aren’t sad. It’s their normal behaviour. I’m looking for any advice on getting through this period so the kids and I can enjoy these last few months together.

WellThisIsShit Tue 07-Nov-17 22:11:12

Children are incredibly aware of emotional changes in relationships. They will be disturbed by you preparing to leave, especially as you pull away.

You become less emotionally in tune with them, and less emotionally available to them - of course they will feel this and react to it!

Perhaps it’s easier for you to break the bond you have with them before you leave. But don’t blame the children for this.

If you dislike their behaviour then you need to do your best to manage it and help them learn what is more positive behaviour.

Hate the behaviour, not the child. It’s an oldie but a goody, and worth trying to remember in this last bit of time you’ll spend in these children’s lives...

Anyoneanytimeanywhere Tue 07-Nov-17 22:18:17

As a nanny are you not the childcare expert? confused

Nanny96 Wed 08-Nov-17 00:03:20

Thanks for the replies. I’m honestly not trying to bash the kids, I love them dearly. As I stated previously I’m really just asking if anyone has advice for managing your feelings with children. Patience is great to have but it can only go so far. Is there anything that you have done to help your frustrations? Or am I the only one that struggles with children wearing me out

LittleBirdBlues Wed 08-Nov-17 00:11:00

Oh no you are definitely not the only one!

I find walking away and ignoring does wonders for my mental wellbeing sometimes.
Mine are 2 and 3 so it's... Busy!

becotide Wed 08-Nov-17 09:50:25

in the kindest way I can put this, this really is a "you" problem. You deal with it by dealing with yourself. They are behaving normally. You don't like it. You should not have taken a job working with children if you don't like the way children behave.

yes small children can be exhausting, plaster a smile on a jolly them along. You don't get to be irritated at their grief.

Blondeshavemorefun Wed 08-Nov-17 14:14:58

Why would you be a nanny for 3yrs then backtrack in salary and duties and be an au pair

Assume different country

Nanny96 Wed 08-Nov-17 14:46:07

I was an aupair last year in NZ. Had a wonderful experience and got to travel a lot! Even though I get paid less, I don’t have to worry about rent or groceries for the most part which are two major bonuses, plus the traveling

babybubblescomingsoon Fri 17-Nov-17 10:13:02

I thought you said you have been with this family for 3 years? How were you an au pair in NZ last year then? In any case, I'm guessing your time with this little one is running out. You're excited to leave and want it to come quickly so I expect you're just impatient and those feeling are being projected onto him. Just try and embrace the time left with this family. Deep breaths.

Emmageddon Sat 18-Nov-17 16:15:08

The OP does say she's been a nanny on and off for this family for 2 years. I'd imagine that's how she was able to be an au-pair in NZ last year.
Be the best nanny you can be in the meantime, and prepare your charges for their new nanny, assuming someone is taking over from you.

Pinky333777 Mon 20-Nov-17 22:20:50

Children are annoying.
Lol. I'm a nanny, have been for many many years.
I'm in my element with 1-3yr olds. I absolutely thrive 😊
I'm also very aware I find 4 year olds annoying and challenging. 😁 With their constant jokes that don't make much sense. Their nattering that never seems to stop. Telling me the same things or asking the same things over and over. Always wanting to play the same games I find boring. Telling tales on one another. Boasting. The list goes on 😀😀😀
But, those are MY issues. I'm the one with the problem if I'm feeling stressed. And i need to sort that out and be calm.
The children are being children. It's a normal part of their development.
So I put on my best smile and pretend I'm enjoying every second and be the 'Mary Poppins' figure I'm paid to be. 😆
It's natural to find some behaviour irritating. Don't feel bad about that. You just have to suck it up and deal with it.
Every job has parts we don't enjoy as much others.
Think of the bits you do like. Remember why you love the little munchkins!
I love my charges to the moon and back. Even when they're driving me up the wall arguing with one another 😀

I had two 3 year olds and a 4 year old who whinged allll the time. (They're now 4,4,5)
It took a fair few weeks of ofen correcting them and getting them to use normal voices or happy voices instead, but eventually we conquered that whiney voice!
Now it only makes a return if they're tired or something.
Example example example. If they're doing something you'd rather they didn't you need to show them a better way.
Like reminding manners. Consistency is key xx

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