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nanny unwilling to clean kids mess

(33 Posts)
misskittin1978 Fri 27-Oct-17 18:54:51

is this normal ? I have a two year old and a 3.5 year old. when they have done things like : spilling jug of water on carpet, used pens on the carpet stairs, scratches on the wall, break a polystyrene box in lots of bits in a bedroom my nanny purposely left the mess for me to clean after I take over. She says she's not hired to clean after kids and they are misbehaving because they are attention seeking (hinting due to my lousy parenting). I took it for granted any incidents happening under her care she should fix. I make a point of leaving a clean house before her shift so am a bit confused by this ? Am I nuts ? Please give me both views from parents and hopefully nannies reading this too ! Thanks !!

Puffthemagicdragongoestobed Fri 27-Oct-17 18:58:32

Of course you are not unreasonable! She could always engage them to clean up with her but that age group is just messy. I would not be happy either.

Madbum Fri 27-Oct-17 18:59:31

I think you should find someone else if she’s critical of your parenting that’s going to cause conflict, not sure on the cleaning up thing but she should at least be encouraging them to clean up any mess they make, they’re not too little to be learning to tidy up after themselves.

MonkeyJumping Fri 27-Oct-17 19:00:50

Is she quite new? It's totally normal for nannies to tidy up the mess made while they look after the DCs - she may not always have time for big jobs, depending on whether your children nap etc - but she should be trying.

Bubblebubblepop Fri 27-Oct-17 19:00:50

It's standard for nannies to clean up after the children and do homework related to them i.e. Bed making or clothes washing.

She sounds shit

Orangebird69 Fri 27-Oct-17 19:01:21

I may question as to what she's doing whilst the children are left unsupervised long enough to make the mess hmm

Bananamanfan Fri 27-Oct-17 19:01:26

I think you should hire someone else too. Why are they alone & allowed to make a mess unchecked?

MonkeyJumping Fri 27-Oct-17 19:03:11

Also if she's critical of you that's going to cause lots of problems, tbh I'd just be looking for somebody new.

Littlechocola Fri 27-Oct-17 19:03:29

What does the nanny do?

Charleyyy Fri 27-Oct-17 19:03:29

In a former life I was a nanny. She's taking the piss. Where is she when the children are creating this mess? Not engaging them/supervising clearly. I would argue any 'attention seeking behaviour' displayed when in her care is down to her lack of attention, not yours.

RavingRoo Fri 27-Oct-17 19:03:51

Depends where you are, quality of the nanny etc. A top dollar nanny in a well to do area won’t clean or cook even for the kids. A mid or low cost nanny might depending on the area. You need to do your research.

parrotonmyshoulder Fri 27-Oct-17 19:04:48

If they’re needing attention, she’s not umm, paying them attention.
Point this out and/ or find a new nanny.

PickAChew Fri 27-Oct-17 19:05:03

She sounds rubbish.

Choccablock Fri 27-Oct-17 19:08:38

I agree... Where is she when the child make the mess? They are probably trying to seek her attention.

She sounds nuts. If I was paying all the money it costs to hire a nanny I would expect her to take care of mess the chn make...

thegirlupnorth Fri 27-Oct-17 19:10:05

I'm a nanny. She should be doing it as part of her job and also encouraging them to do tidy up time. Also why are they so destructive when in her care, she must be leaving them unattended or not providing stimulating enough okay for them. Please get rid, you and your children deserve better X

Dannygirl Fri 27-Oct-17 19:12:29

RavingRoo that's not correct!

Coloursthatweremyjoy Fri 27-Oct-17 19:14:44

Why are the children attention seeking? Surely having a Nanny means they are getting a lot of attention.

I'd question the closeness of her supervision tbh. What does your contract Say? I'd expect clearing up after the kids/teaching the kids to clean up after themselves to be part of the job.

I would also have a 'supervision' with her along the lines of "I don't expect to hear your criticism of my parenting or life choices, veiled or otherwise thanks." Let's not forget who the employer is here.

Aderyn17 Fri 27-Oct-17 19:15:08

Wtf is she doing if your kids have time to break up polystyrene boxes or colour on the stairs? Sounds like she is not supervising them properly.

You are the employer, not her - if you want her to clean up after the dc thrn that is what she should do. When they are in her care, all aspects of looking after them are her job. Otherwise, what is the point of her?
She's got no business criticising your parenting either. Cheeky mare.

Time for a verbal warning. Reclaim your authority and if she doesn't buck up her ideas then sack her.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Fri 27-Oct-17 19:17:08

Verbal warning? I would give notice.

Her attitude is appalling.

Aderyn17 Fri 27-Oct-17 19:21:23

Can you just give notice legally, without going through the verbal and written warning stage? If so, then yes, do that.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Fri 27-Oct-17 20:48:56

Yes if they have less than 2 year service and it's not discriminatory or penalising someone for exercising a statutory right.

Or if the disciplinary process is contractual but that would have to be some bad contract.

Madbum Fri 27-Oct-17 20:57:30

I think you should hire someone else too. Why are they alone & allowed to make a mess unchecked?

This is an excellent point, what was she doing while the children were in demolition mode?

Callaird Fri 27-Oct-17 21:32:28

I'd be more concerned what she was doing while your children are trashing your house. I don't care how badly behaved my charges are with their parents, with me they do as they are told and if they were likely to trash things, I would not let them out of my sight. If they did make a mess then I would tidy it all up and apologise profusely if anything was damaged.

ForgivenessIsDivine Fri 27-Oct-17 22:04:36

No nanny, top dollar or not, should be allowing her charges to cause damage in the house and not clear it up. While nannies may not be prepared to clean the bathroom, they should be wholly responsible for the children in their care.. Experienced nannies should be able to deal with the attention seeking. They should keep their opinions on your parenting to themselves, though they may make suggestions to manage the transition between nanny and parent and may ask to discuss approaches to discipline and consistency between nanny and parents. As others have said, if the relationship is not one of mutual respect, and expectations on both sides are not broadly met then you should reevaluate the relationship. If you need to, speak to ACAS before terminating the contract so you can follow the necessary steps. I hope you find a replacement who is a better fit for your family.

Dannygirl Fri 27-Oct-17 22:13:46

^^ What Forgiveness said

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