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Mess in the mornings is winding me right up

(70 Posts)

I've been with this family for almost 3y...they're certainly not the tidiest of people but the mess is just getting ridiculous.

They all (inc kids) have breakfast before I get there and I can guarantee that the sides will be covered in plates and bowls, coffee spilt everywhere, ground coffee on the side, the sink full of yogurt pots and wipes and coffee and the food the kids have dropped over the floor but it's been getting worse and worse...I've walked in this morning and both kids have obviously chucked their breakfast bowl on the floor and the baby her beaker as the floor and high hair is absolutely swimming in milk and porridge and no one has bothers to pick up the dropped plates/bowls and beaker never mind wipe the food off the's fucking disgusting and I'm completely fed up of spending 45m-1h cleaning the kitchen (it's got little work surface space so I have no choice but to do it or I can't cook lunch/dinner).

The sitting room is littered with toys, spilt water and clothes.

I get that mornings are hard work and cleaning the kitchen before work is not too priority but it's not my job to clean up pools of milk, cold porridge and yogurt off of the floor every damn day...and it's not just a quick wipe, it's a proper hands and knees jobby ...I always make sure that the kitchen and sitting room are as clean and as tidy as possible before I leave in the evening but by the next morning it's the same. I'd never dream of leaving dinner dishes lying around for them to clean up so why do I get this crap?!

If I mention it then things change for a day or so but then revert back...there's no respect for anything and it's driving me up the wall

Baby's currently napping btw! I'm Not ignoring her!

KoalaD Mon 16-Oct-17 09:13:44

These people sound like selfish pigs, tbh. I've never been, or had, a nanny, so not sure how you can fix it. But I wouldn't be sucking it up.

A few dishes in the sink, unwiped bench occasionally, maybe bread needs putting away? Sure. Being treated like a housemaid? No.

ohtheholidays Mon 16-Oct-17 09:20:25

It sounds like they need a cleaner as well as a Nanny if they can't find time to stick some rubbish in the bim and wipe the surfaces.

I know mornings can be hectic but when I was on my own with 4DC I was working part time and at college the rest of the time and my house was never in the state you describe and one of my DC then was disabled and I was breastfeeding a newborn.

Are they just generally very untidy people do you think?

I don't know if your relationship is close enough but could you maybe suggest a cleaner?if they could afford one.

Both pretty untidy generally but it's getting silly now. I'm also working really hard to get the older kid to help tidy up but they just think I'm being mean! I'm not letting the kids go the same way!

They have a cleaner once a week for 4h but by the next morning it's starting just feels like the attitude is "leave it, Lego will do it"

I could've cried at the mess this morning

wizzywig Mon 16-Oct-17 09:24:28

Op they are being plain rude. I have a nanny and would never treat her as though she is our personal skivvy. My kids will put their breakfast things in/by the sink. Exactly as they do for me.

KoalaD Mon 16-Oct-17 09:24:29

Great; they're also teaching their children to be lazy and disrespectful.

Whatshouldmyusernamebe Mon 16-Oct-17 09:26:46

That is so disrespectful to you. Awful to allow children to throw breakfast bowls and then leave them on the floor for you to pick up. Outrageous.

imtherealbummymummyotherisfake Mon 16-Oct-17 09:26:47

I've left jobs for this reason. I've given two warnings and then I go. You spend the morning pissed off and cleaning and in a hellish rush which in turn negatively affects the kids. Toddle pip, where's me p45?

hannah1992 Mon 16-Oct-17 09:28:13

I'm not and don't have a nanny but I think they are taking the piss. Most morning I give the bowls from breakfast a quick wash. Quick wipe over the sides and table takes less than 5 mins. Sounds to me like either a) they're are taking advantage of the fact that you will do it so they don't have to or b) they need to get better at time keeping so that they've got an extra 5-10mins to do a quick tidy up before they leave

hannah1992 Mon 16-Oct-17 09:29:01

And also why if they can throw yogurt pots and wipes in the sink do they not throw them in the bin instead? 🤔The mind boggles

Genuinely, thank you.

I've been going over this in my head for so long wondering if actually maybe I'm just lazy or need to just get on with it.

I've started chucking an extra pair of socks in my bag because they're normally piss wet through with either water or bloody milk within the hour.

I think I'm pretty done with this job for a few reasons

imtherealbummymummyotherisfake Mon 16-Oct-17 09:29:22

Although in one job after telling them a couple of times I just started leaving it.

I'd come in on a Monday to their weekend's washing up too!

Every day they'd leave their dinner dishes for me.

Oh, and she started asking me to pick up any laundry I saw and wash and iron. She would leave dirty (sometimes period) underpants on the stairs.

He was a pretty big research doctor and she was a top city lawyer. Filthy fucking people.

Rosa Mon 16-Oct-17 09:31:01

They know you will do it so they are taking advantage of it . If there is any way you could remove it ( maybe in a bin liner) then put it all back so they come back to it ... But not your lunch stuff ?.

MagicFajita Mon 16-Oct-17 09:31:23

They are taking the piss , you are a nanny , not a cleaner.

I seriously wouldn't blame you if you gave them your notie.

MagicFajita Mon 16-Oct-17 09:32:46


crumble82 Mon 16-Oct-17 09:34:02

What does your contract say? My Nanny is also expected to do a couple of hours housework for us before collecting the DC from school. I would be mortified to leave the house in the state you’ve described, but maybe they’re thinking that as they’re paying you for housework too they can get away with it.

I think it’s worth speaking to them and saying you are fine with light housework (if you are) but it’s taking too long to clean up in the morning and is effecting the level of care you can provide the DC.

imtherealbummymummyotherisfake Mon 16-Oct-17 09:36:52

But crumble op says 'baby'. So she doesn't have free time to clean.

Whatshouldmyusernamebe Mon 16-Oct-17 09:37:47

Dirty period pants. Soaking wet floors!I'm just horrified and disgusted by people!!

imtherealbummymummyotherisfake Mon 16-Oct-17 09:40:41

And it's just a respect thing. If you want to come back to a tidy house, leave it tidy.

Obviously there's the occasion where there's a bad morning, everyone has those, and most of my employers (the ones I stayed with) with apologise profusely when it happened that I'd come in to a mess. Then I'd have no problem cleaning it up, and maybe even making dinner for them as I could see they were under pressure. It's give and take.

drspouse Mon 16-Oct-17 09:42:33

Do you take the older children to school/nursery? Can you suggest increasing your hours so you either supervise breakfast ("it seems to be all getting a bit much for you in the morning") or supervise the older ones tidying up ("it can give you a bit more time also to make sure they tidy up after themselves if I'm looking after the baby")?

And definitely get on the parents' case about tidying up being the DCs' job. If they don't want the DCs to do it then they need to at least make a start!

I have two quite messy DCs but the younger one is 3 and our kitchen/dining room is not in this state in the morning - I make them tidy up probably 1/3 of the mess and do the rest myself. I will put my hand up to the dining room floor needing a proper deep clean by the cleaner after my own pathetic efforts but rubbish goes IN THE BIN and both DCs know that.

My contract only mentions tidying up children's mess.

Of course I do stuff during nap time (90m lunchtime nap everyday and 1h morning maybe twice a week) but I
-sort lunch/dinner out in advance
-pack nappy bag
-Tidy toys up in bedrooms
-stick a wash on and hang it up
-change kids beds once a week or more if needed
-sort clothes out that are too small, tidy wardrobe/cupboards
-tidy sitting room
-tidy away any morning activitys
-set out afternoon activity for after school run
-try and grab 15 minutes for my own lunch

If they stacked their plates and bowls on the side but cleaned the floor up and wiped the highhair down then maybe I'd think they gave a shit...but they don't. It's literally just left where it dropped

Thank you all

Underparmummy Mon 16-Oct-17 09:46:15

This is disgusting!

This is very unfair on you.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Mon 16-Oct-17 09:49:38

Can you leave it as it is and avoid the kitchen as much as possible (do sandwiches, not a cooked meal). Then say, sorry kitchen was no fit for usage.

On the days I start earlier (twice a month or so if MB has an early meeting) then I make sure they help tidy up and get dressed for school before they watch something on tv (which gives me time to sort the baby and run a wipe ovet the work surfaces).

They give them breakfast then they all come and sit on the sofa watching tv or fiddling on tablets until I get there then MB&DB get ready and I run around getting uniform on them and try and stop them standing in wet puddles with clean socks on

It's bloody laziness reading that back

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