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what are your nanny issues?

(29 Posts)
supercalinanny Fri 19-May-17 23:24:17

Tried to post in another forum but was accused of being a journalist.

I'm a nanny since September and I'm worried I've become so over familiar with the family that they won't tell me if I'm doing stuff wrong. I wanted to know what the common problems anyone has with their nannies are??

HONESTLY not a journalist, just a new nanny trying to navigate a new employer relationship who'd love to some advice. If you're going to accuse me of writing for a newspaper, please don't reply.

Maudlinmaud Fri 19-May-17 23:27:05

No it'seems the same forum just a different topic.

DancingLedge Fri 19-May-17 23:32:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wellysocksbox Fri 19-May-17 23:34:15

My nanny pees standing up and rubs lemon meringue pie into her face. I also think she is my ex husband badly disguised as a woman.

wonderstuff Fri 19-May-17 23:36:10

My problem is I don't have enough money for a nanny.
I'd just take them at face value and stop worrying. Presumably you are conscientious and feel you're looking after the kids well? Why do you think they aren't happy?

supercalinanny Fri 19-May-17 23:36:37

ok, everyone pilling on when I was just genuinely interested in the viewpoints of actual mums so I can be better at my job has weirdly upset me but @wellysockbox your comment alone was worth it.

DancingLedge Fri 19-May-17 23:40:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

supercalinanny Fri 19-May-17 23:45:02

you people know that I never had a nanny, yeah? no one I know had one and if I have children I would never be able to afford one either? I just WORK as one. In the downton of this situation I am very much downstairs.

I would like to be nannies to all of your for free. I would like childcare to be cheaper and everyone's pay to be better but in the mean time I'd just love to know what I could be doing wrong ~without realising~.

Why am I worried? Because I am an anxious millennial. And this is my first none turn up and wipe tables job. The employer/employee relationship feels very specific and miles away from anything else I've done.

I actually have read other threads with mums complaining about au pairs and found common threads of issues that if I was an au pair, I'd want to know about. That's all I'm seeking. Maybe people will say things that have no applicability, maybe they will say something helpful. Like many of the other hundreds of threads looking for generalised advice, it may or may not be helpful.

I think I'm just going to call it a night. I didn't realise I'd raise so much ire.

GruffaloPants Sat 20-May-17 00:00:53

Try not to worry. Speak directly to your employer, get a dialogue going.

And please, please, never refer to yourself as "a millennial".

nannynick Sat 20-May-17 07:31:12

You may be better to ask nannies. Are you on any of the nanny support Facebook groups?

SuperPug Sat 20-May-17 07:38:30

There are quite a lot of threads about nannies and au pairs on here which may be useful.
OP, I think it's the tone/ writing style of your comments which have made people question this.
Also, no-one seems to be looking down at you re: whether you can afford a nanny. As I said, it's more the way your posts have come across which doesn't seem to quite gel.

SunEgg Sat 20-May-17 07:38:55

People are giving you a very hard time, I'm sorry to see this.

Is there anything in particular you are worried about? My DS has had a couple of nannies. With one there wss a timekeeping issue, she was consistently pitching up late. But she was great, so I didn't want to let her go. Another used to complain about DS almost everyday. This got tiring, and it meant DS quickly grew to dislike her. We had to let her go.

KatyBerry Sat 20-May-17 07:39:10

You identified your own problem- you've become over familiar. Wind back and be less familiar, they're your employers. Continue to be nice to the kids. Don't call in sick because you think you might be coming down with a cold.

unapaloma Sat 20-May-17 07:47:28

Would you come on here and say" what are husbands like?"........o, maybe you would
Maybe not, but she didn't ask that, she asked what nannies do that annoy their employers. And people certainly do ask very similar questiins to that about husbands on here!
I also love the question about why would you be interested in the anyone's situation but your own - removing that as a topic would wipe out most of mumsnet threads, and most other conversation and TV shows too :-D.

nannynick Sat 20-May-17 07:53:52

Parents I feel want commitment from a nanny, someone they can trust - they are letting them care for their children and home. A very good timekeeper, calm under pressure, not someone who eats what they had planned for dinner. Reliable - no calling in sick when you just feel a bit tired or have a minor cold.

You need to know your place - you are an employee, the parents can tell you what to do. As you get to know them, they will usually manage you less as they trust you to do the right thing. You form a bond with the children and parents but you must be able to walk away - it is a job - there will come a time when you leave (though your choice or theirs).

nannynick Sat 20-May-17 07:57:03

I would like to be nannies to all of your for free.

That is a bit odd. Do you not see being a nanny as a professional job?

English may not be your first language so maybe I am reading what you have written wrongly but it sounds like you want to be a nanny who is not paid.

unapaloma Sat 20-May-17 08:37:20

Nannynick, I think it was a joke, referring to the PPs who said they couldn't afford a nanny, sort of pointing out that the OP can't really help with that problem!

littlemissM92 Sat 20-May-17 17:30:37

Super please feel free to private message me I'm happy to give you some advise and sorry you have been spoken to like shit and treated as the butt of a joke on your own thread asking a simple harmless question, some people have very boring lives! wink

PosiePootlePerkins Sat 20-May-17 17:42:47

My nanny issue is that I don't have onegrin

venys Tue 23-May-17 22:29:55

I have only fired one nanny and that was because she wouldn't turn up 50% of the time. I had three kids (one newborn) and she should just drop me in it last minute as it was me that has to take the slack. Fortunately my next temp nanny was fab. Asked lots of questions, sensible, autonomous, could cook and can drive even though very young.

venys Tue 23-May-17 22:30:31

Would drop me in it not should!!

bbcessex Wed 24-May-17 17:28:14

Hi OP.. sorry you've had a tough time.. a few people accused me of being a journalist yesterday for asking about house guests shock

Assuming that the basics are there, e.g. you care well for your charges, are punctual and reliable. Then the thing that I used to LOVE with one particular nanny was how she really tidied the common areas and we got to come home to calm...

I loved that she still miss I!

Another nanny - who was actually very good and lovely - used to tell me how tired she was when I would greet her in the morning. Always. That was a bit wearing... I stopped asking in the end!

lovemylot1 Wed 24-May-17 21:52:39

the nanny employer relationship is quite unusual and can be hard to manage. For instance sometimes the nanny arrives when you are getting ready for work and it's hard to maintain a professional relationship when you are in your pyjamas! Also it is hard to clear any issues because there are always children present unless you arrange for two of you to be there. So sometimes small issues snowball because there was no good chance to discuss.

What I want from nannies:

Respect and understanding of the fact you are in my home looking after my precious children
Take lots of care of them and enjoy their company, teach them about the world, have fun
Respect and understand why we need to work
No tolerance for discussing my family and home with other people
Calm and upbeat
Practical skills, like cooking, safe driving etc

wizzywig Thu 25-May-17 12:47:16

Start work on time. And i dont like hearing about my nannys private life in detail. She volunteers this info. Its the kind of info you tell a friend

Underparmummy Thu 15-Jun-17 15:57:55

Bit late I appreciate but we have had following problems in past (and a bit currently):

Proper 'meals' - one of our nannies didn't even want to make a sandwich so if I needed leave things to be reheated kids got crisps and yoghurts

Not listening re naps and letting kids take huge naps which meant bad bedtimes for us

Requesting money to do expensive days out all the time rather than trying to entertain on a budget

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