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FTM worries autism

(3 Posts)
WorriedFTM95 Sat 28-Mar-20 19:49:32

Hi to whoever is reading this and thank you in advance for taking the time to reply 😌
I’m a FTM to a beautiful little girl who is now 3.5 months old.
I seem to be getting myself into a mess lately and overthinking which is now really getting me down.
I have 2 brother on the spectrum. One has Aspergers, which is verrry mild to the point you wouldn’t even think he had it and my other brother is higher on the spectrum. I don’t believe any one else in my family has autism.
Whilst I was pregnant, I found out that I could have a test called “fragile x” which I did, and the results came back negative.
I find myself constantly searching online for autism signs in infants.
I love my brothers and would not change them for the world but Ive how hard it was for my mother and now I keep watching every move my baby is doing which is driving me insane, for example, on her jumperoo she likes to spin the ball but also likes to pull on a long, noisy rattle but I will focus on the spinning the ball as I heard autistic babies like to spin things. Also, I am constantly watching her eye contact, if she looks away from me I start to over think and get upset.
She is hitting all her milestones so far which is great.
I would like to hear from parents with children with autism and NT. what was your autistic child like as a baby? Have you got a NT child who has sibling/s with autism who have gone on to have NT children? When did you first have an idea your baby was autistic? What signs were there?
Thank you for reading and look forward to some responses! 😌😌

springtimeishere Sat 04-Apr-20 22:47:32

Please try not to worry to much as I know how much these thoughts can take over.
I have 3 children, the eldest was diagnosed with ASD at 7. I knew about 18 month as he didn't really babble or share much with me. He was afraid of everything including shadows, huge sensory overload, didn't like noise, struggled with messy play, wouldn't walk bare feet on grass, sand... extremely fussy and afraid of food (texture and colour). The biggest thing is that he just didn't connect properly with me, there was limited eye contact, very brief. She's now 16 (decided to transition to female), very verbal, amazing personality, incredibly bright, but socially anxious and struggles with emotions.
I have a 4 year old who was diagnosed last year with ASD too, much more obvious with her, she has the worst meltdowns, speech and communication difficulties and very demanding behaviour. She doesn't suffer much with sensory issues and her motor skills are unaffected.
Then I ask have a six year old whom I thought was just quirky,...until last year when it became a bit more obvious that she was also on the spectrum. She's currently going through a diagnosis. She is very very verbal, loves to be active and has an amazing imagination. He's disabilities are intense constant anxiety (mostly irrational), sensory seeking behaviour (spinning a lot, chewing objects) and sensory overload (fear of hand dryers, blenders etc... she hates wearing socks as the seams irritate her, she won't wear jeans or other stiff/tight fabric. Struggles with everyday smells.
she also fits the diagnosis criteria for adhd but as she is getting older the ASD seems much more apparent.

I hope this helps you in some way. The reason I wanted to reply is to say that even with 3 dc they are all so incredibly different, perfectly unique and I honestly wouldn't change them. I would like to ease their struggles but I see autism as a special part of their Beauty!

I did overanalyse everything the younger ones did when they were babies as I was almost playing detective and expecting to see evidence of ASD.
I am also on the spectrum which caused me to over focus though which I think may of played a part with that.

How is your dd with communication? Does she want your attention? Does she enjoy messy play?
Does she have any strange anxieties?

Try not to worry, x

springtimeishere Sat 04-Apr-20 22:53:52

I've just realised she's 3.5 months, I thought you meant 3years.
No, be careful as you will drive yourself crazy with worry. At that age they are meant to enjoy spinning toys, jumping and repetitive motions. Also the eye contact will be minimal too.
Don't worry, just enjoy her as she is, even if she is on the spectrum there won't be much difference in things you do and you will love her just as much. daffodil

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