Problem with ASD

[MissKittyBeaudelais]

I’ve known I was different all my life but was diagnosed with Aspergers 4 yrs ago. I am 57. I think I learned early to mask well and there are few people who “believe” I have autism. I had a career in a very person centred arena and was in a senior role when I left. My DH knows about my condition and has always playfully teased me about my preference for animals over people 😉

However, as I’ve aged, I’ve become less able or just too worn out with the masking. DH and I were recently discussing a a Social get together which was a weekend away and I said I found it “pretty excruciating”. I was at my Aspie best. Couldn’t think of much to say until the conversation moved on; missed cues over and over and eventually, separated myself politely and let it all carry on around me. DH was cross. Sarcastic.

I’m worried that it’s going to be difficult staying together going forward. I love him to do things and tell me all about it when he gets home but less and less do I want to struggle through social situations. It. Is. Exhausting.

[WeirdPookah]

I saw "this" mentioned in a Sarah Hendrickx talk on YouTube.

I am recently 40 and am into diagnoses for ASD, waiting for first proper appointments. Prompted by the fact I am finding myself far less bothered about making an effort to pretend I give a flying monkey about peoples boring conversations about hair colour or fashion.

She said lots of women are confronting they are different because it's too exhausting, and we are grown up enough now to stop caring about impressing others.

If your husband hasn't seen the extent it can affect you, you need to have a conversation about the fact it is real, it is happening, it is hurting you. Does he understand the whole thing?

[surlycurly]

I'm also diagnosed and I'm exhausted with trying to negotiate it all the time. I go out less and less and I have virtually no friends any more. I'm increasingly negative and people don't like me very much. I don't know what to do, I'd love to just fit in and not have to deal with all of this for five minutes.