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Pregnant with low functioning autism

(2 Posts)
HonHonBaguette Tue 07-Jan-20 00:34:52

I was diagnosed with low functioning autism when I was only 3 years old. Over the years I've learned how to cope but I still get told I have unrealistic expectations of people, can't look after myself etc. I live at home and the only thing I don't do for myself is cook as we get a family meal. I never got taught how to cook and because of this I'm apparently unfit to be a mother my mum says. My family are really pushing me to terminate as they're worried I won't cope. I'm 13 weeks and I know it's not what I want to do, I want to try my absolute best and I know it'll be incredibly hard. The thought of having a termination this far gone makes me feel sick, I know I couldn't do it even though they've offered to pay for a private treatment. My partner is supportive in whatever I decide but he understands my struggles and says he'll be happy to take over for a bit if the worst comes to the worst. I'm not at all well equipped and I know there's no support out there anymore but I just feel like I need to do this and try my best. I understand it'll be hard, I get called unrealistic and that I'm not living in the real world but I don't want to fail myself. I don't know what support I'm entitled to. I'm currently on PIP but due for a reassessment soon so I'll probably get taken off it so I don't know how I'd cope financially as I've never had a job. I have about £4000 in my savings but I know that won't go far.

Has anyone else parented as a one-mid functioning ASD? Tried searching it up but it looks like I'm the only one and it feels pretty lonely. Please no judgement, I'm just seeing if anyone else is out there in a similar position to me

wotsittoyou Tue 07-Jan-20 03:19:32

I'm autistic and have 3 children. Your autism absolutely does not preclude you from being a decent parent, and it's abhorrent for anybody to suggest it does.

Are you on facebook? There are several excellent groups there for autistic women, many of whom are parents, that might help put your mind at ease.

Please remember that nobody is a perfect parent, nd or nt. You may be more likely to struggle with some things than some nt parents, but you're also likely to do other things better/more easily than them. I, for example, struggle to organise my time - I miss the bin man and burn the porridge a couple of times a week - but I am able to understand my autistic children easily and ensure that they rarely meltdown, which many nt parents struggle to do. Every parent has strengths and weaknesses, we just need to take measures to ensure the weaknesses don't pose a significant threat to our children. This is the same for everyone.

You can learn to cook. You don't know how simply because you've never needed to. Your baby won't be eating cooked meals for about 9 months, you can develop your cooking skills in the meantime.

You can use the entitledto website to check benefits entitlements.

Congratulations on your pregnancy! x

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