Is this because of difficulties with emotional regulation?(2 Posts)
I was diagnosed with aspergers a few years ago. It's interesting, I was just reading the thread about 'am I aspie enough' and I have similar thoughts but I suppose I must be!
I manage my daily life really well - everything about it is set up to make it easier to deal with but there is one thing that I can't seem to manage and I'm wondering if it's to do with emotional regulation.
I do have delayed emotional processing. If it's not immediately obvious to me what emotion I'm experiencing, then I just have an unpleasant physical feeling and tend to cry. It can sometimes take a few days before I realise what emotion it is I was experiencing.
So I know I have difficulty interpretting emotions.
One thing I'm finding increasingly difficult to deal with is that I find myself developing unwanted and sometimes inappropriate crushes on men. It tends to be on men who have shown me kindness or who have taken an interest in me. They can come on quite quickly and can be quite overwhelming and often come out of nowhere.
So I've recently developed a 'crush' on a man I've known for just over a year. He's married and I'm friends with his wife so it's not something I'd ever pursue. Plus, I also know that it will wear off at some point because it's not real. But it's exhausting and unpleasant and I don't like it. I'd rather just experience someone being nice to me and be able to leave it at that rather than developing these intense crushes.
But I fixate on the nice aspects of them and process it all repeatedly. Sometimes I need to talk about it because it's unbearable if it stays in my head.
Actually, I suppose it's almost like men are my special interest. I get very fixated for a while. Because of this, I've learnt to stay single. My younger life was filled with lots of short term 'relationships' where I'd develop really intense feelings only for them to disappear just as quickly a short time later.
Do you think this is related to emotional regulation?
And does anyone else experience similar/have any thoughts or suggestions?
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