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Having a HUGE epiphany!

(4 Posts)
Mrsfrumble Fri 16-Nov-18 21:06:40

A few weeks ago DS was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD. Last week I went to a workshop about parenting children with ADHD, and the woman leading it talked about the hereditary aspect, and how parents often find themselves recognising symptoms in themselves as they learn more about the condition.

I already know it’s likely that DS’s ASD comes from my side as there are other family members on the spectrum, although I don’t think I am. DS’s ADHD mainly manifests itself through hyperactivity, but I’ve been reading up on the inattentive type in females and - oh my word - it’s like reading my life story!

My earliest memories of school involve being told off for daydreaming, not listening to instructions and working too slowly. Teachers telling my parents I was very bright but not fulfilling my potential. Often struggling to understand what was going on and feeling overwhelmed.

I was never able to organise my homework and revision, and even though I got good exam results, a 2:1 degree and an MA I was always the person begging for deadline extensions and pulling all-nighters to write essays I’d been set weeks ago.

At work I managed to get into quite a senior position over the years, but often felt like an imposter and as if I was never really “on top” of stuff. I’ve been a SAHM for 5 years, and even now my littlest is at school our flat is still always so messy and I still feel two steps behind everyone else! I’d really like to get back into work but I find job hunting and applying for stuff difficult, and I struggle to focus on what I really want to do next.

I feel like I’m letting DH and my children down. I know I have lots of good qualities; I’m kind, funny and creative. But I know they’d all benefit if I was also organised, efficient and tidy, seeing as that’s my job as “homemaker” at the moment! This evening DD told me that her teacher told her off for not knowing her weekly words; I’m supposed to go through them with her and help her memorise them and I’d completely forgotten blush

I’m not sure if a formal diagnosis would help at this stage (I’m 40) but I’d really like to improve my executive functioning, if that’s at all possible. I’d like to be better for my family, and stop feeling shit about myself for being hopeless.

If you’ve made it to the end of this ramble; is there anyone here, diagnosed or not, who has managed to improve things? If so, how? Thanks! flowers

BlackeyedGruesome Wed 28-Nov-18 21:49:26

diagnosis woul open the way to meds. maybe that is something that woyuld help?

IdblowJonSnow Wed 28-Nov-18 21:55:55

Bump. And I wdnt berate yourself so much op. I bet you're a great parent. Why don't you make a timetable for daily stuff to do with school etc while you get sorted with the bigger things?

Allfednonedead Mon 14-Jan-19 07:47:03

Welcome to my club. I was dx’d a year ago and am hoping to start meds’ this year.
Like you I had an apparently successful academic and work career, but always knew I wasn’t really meeting my potential.
Even just knowing I have ADHD has beenhelpful, but I’m really hopeful the meds will help.

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