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Which aspergers traits do you have?

(24 Posts)
Openup41 Fri 29-Dec-17 12:38:53

I always knew I was different as a child. As an introvert I enjoyed being alone but it went much deeper than that.

I do not like being in large groups.

I rehearse before speaking especially when at work.

I over explain.

I can be over chatty or completely silent - no middle ground.

I want to be liked and often feel I am not.

I do not like seeing people in different settings i.e. bumping into a colleague while out at lunch.

I suffer with anxiety.

I easily get confused and have to write simple tasks down.

I memorise number plates and random numbers for no reason at all.

I have a short attention span and often go into my own thoughts when speaking to others.

I think terrible things of others when I actually like them as people - usually when speaking to them.

I have a wild imagination and often misread what people are saying.

I relive situations in my mind and give them my own scenario. Often situations in which I was the victim. Some span back 20 to 30 years.

KenForPM Sat 30-Dec-17 00:52:30

Anxiety is a big one combined with low self-esteem.
Obsessions. In line with the female type of obsessions, they’re quite general (as opposed to the male stereotype of narrow things like train timetables etc). Current ones being The Sims (2/3), guinea pigs, The Body Shop.
Linked to that, I like nice scents. I don’t have major sensory issues (apart from not liking long sleeves and loud noise eg in nightclubs) but I like things like scented candles and reed diffusers. It’s probably why I like the Body Shop so much. I have a LOT of their stuff, I don’t use it much but I just like having it grin
Don’t care much about my appearance, can happily go out of the house without brushing teeth and hair. I do shower daily, but it took me longer than most to get into that habit.
Can have meltdowns, but they’re mainly due to emotional rather than sensory overload. When I have anxiety ones, the symptoms aren’t that physical, mainly I just shut down mentally.
Find it v difficult to make friends, mainly due to anxiety and bad self-esteem. I made few friends at school. Whilst I know there’s no rule about how many friends you should make, i would’ve liked to make more. There have been instances where I have wanted to befriend people but haven’t been able to.
Also memorise things like number plates!
Good imagination, I like writing stories (and reading fiction).
Also dislike large groups, especially if I don’t know them. I hated group work at school/university because I never had any ideas, not good ones anyway. Also hated speaking in front of a class, even if it was quite small.

There are other symptoms but those are the main ones I can remember.

Openup41 Sat 30-Dec-17 22:27:41

KenforPM Thank you for responding.

I forgot to mention obsessions. I will watch a film with a male character, look them up on Wikipedia, their family, home life, career to date. I will also watch videos of them on YouTube over and over again as well as look at online photographs. I can think of three famous people I have done this with in the last six months. It is weird and I could not inform anyone in rl as they may assume I have some sort of fetish. My dh does not even know I do this.

KenForPM Sat 30-Dec-17 22:33:40

Oh I could spend ages on Wikipedia!
Slightly linked to it (tenuously), I never had many celebrity crushes growing up, and still don’t; only one I can think of currently. When people on MN talk about fancying, say, Tom Hardy, I just don’t get it. Harry Potter lovers tend to fancy Tom Felton (Malfoy) or Matthew Lewis (Neville); whilst I agree they’re nice looking, my favourite of the HP guys is Rupert Grint. I am a redhead myself which probably adds to it though grin

Openup41 Sun 31-Dec-17 08:13:06


I had very little celebrity crushes as a teenager too. I did not even have a favourite boy band and preferred solo artists.

Arrietty123 Wed 03-Jan-18 22:46:18

Hi, you've pretty much described me there. Apart from memorising number plates and numbers. I've only quite recently began to be really aware of how different I am from others. I've been pretty focused on my anxiety for years which meant I haven't really given much thought to all my other quirks.

Openup41 Fri 05-Jan-18 00:15:24

Arietty I have always been aware of how different I am. I did not know how to fit in as an early teen and felt as though I was on the outside. Very few people understand me and it is isolating at times. In the past friends called me strange and weird.

AnachronisticCorpse Tue 09-Jan-18 09:52:46

Oh yes this is me.

Introverted but overly loud in group situations.

Not bothered about my appearance, I’ll make an effort at times but I’m usually in scruffs with unwashed hair.

Obsessions, omg yes. I get food obsessions where I’ll eat the same thing every day for weeks or months on end, currently gnocchi with mozzarella. I have had hundreds of short lived but intense hobbies, cross stitch, making dolls houses, calligraphy. When I’m in the obsession I’ll spend hours and hours for weeks on end and then suddenly lose interest. I’m currently on my 200th episode of Criminal Minds, started watching just before Christmas.

Always rehearse conversations. And then obsess about what I’ve said afterwards.

I am terrible with house admin stuff, forget appointments all the time, struggle with basic tasks quite often as I find them overwhelming.

Absolutely rubbish with RL friends although I have lots of online ones. I’ve always felt different to other people, and as a child I wore boys clothes and had very short hair because it felt easier than trying to fit in with the girls. I spent most of my childhood in elaborate fantasies, mainly about Greek gods and then vampires and werewolves.

I’ve currebtly got a diagnosis of Bipolar and borderline personality disorder but I’m working my way up to asking about ASD because I do think it fits.

Oh, the other thing is that I’m overly sensitive to other people’s moods, or what I perceive as their moods. One wrong look from DH and I spend the whole day trying to figure out how I’ve upset him, no matter how much he reassures me.

Snailandthemale Mon 15-Jan-18 23:04:59

I relive situations in my mind and give them my own scenario

I do this, this is the first time I've heard of someone else doing it.

I get fixated on wanting to explain things to people in my head. Like right now I can't stop thinking about something that happened to a friend I don't see anymore 18 months ago. I thought my friend made the wrong decision. I keep playing imagimary conversations in my head, me telling dh about it, telling my friend about it, me writing on mumsnet about it. Like I'm trying to perfectly express myself. I have spent hours this evening thinking about this! If I told dh about it he'd say "ffs not this again!"

Snailandthemale Mon 15-Jan-18 23:06:44

think terrible things of others when I actually like them as people - usually when speaking to them

Can you explain what you mean by this?

comfortingcanopy Wed 17-Jan-18 23:04:15

All of yours OP but especially looking up film stars their lives, misfortunes, children etc. I also can get quite involved in films about muscians or biopics and really feel intense emotions about their lives and then follow it through by looking up all I can find! - I overinvest! grin

I am also really affected by other people's moods it can really set me back.

I have hobbies/ obsessions where I will literally buy 10-20 books with vertially the same information.

I was fascinated by greek myths, folklore and fighting fantasy as a child.

I get really into music too.

I feel at my happiest walking through the woods daily with my dog. I almost feel animalistic my senses seem heightened more so than others.

I get emotional overload quite easily and find direct sunlight unless sunbathing on holiday difficult.

I am pretty odd now I write it all down. smile

SadieHH Tue 30-Jan-18 21:02:56

Yes. 99% of those mentioned above. And yet if you ask me personally what traits I have I couldn’t name any of them, because, I don’t know, it’s just normal to me. If that makes sense.

I have fixations on people, famous or otherwise, which are all encompassing. When I have a favourite actor I give over the inside of my head to them 24/7. I still manage to live a life and bring up kids etc but the inside of my head is a different story. I spent my childhood assuming I’d grow out of it but at 46 I’m worse than ever.

StandardPoodle Thu 08-Mar-18 18:48:13

Apart from the last 3 items, I have all those you mention in your opening post.
I know which number plates DH has had since I met him, and I've written down/can remember every number plate I ever had.
Other things -
Silence- I hate background noise especially music.
Clothes - must be comfortable and practical - if I find a brand which suits me I'll often buy several of their items.
TV programmes - there are a few which I'm quite fixated on and watch repeats again and again.

AuntyJackiesBrothersSistersBoy Mon 08-Oct-18 15:48:53

Noise is a big one for me. The constant muttering of a radio or music playing can really piss me off. When DH has the football commentary on in the car I want to throw myself out of the passenger door. It’s exhausting so, I always have ear plugs or headphones in my bag and there’s two or three pieces of music I CAN tolerate on my phone. DS is autistic and is exactly the same.

I can’t look at things “in the wrong setting”. I’ll explain 😊. TV/films where there’s a boat sailing down the high street or New York flooded so that just the top of famous buildings are sticking out. I get almost physically sick at the thought of mountains under the sea. Under the bloody SEA! How deep is the water! It’s all wrong. Mountains are in land. The sea cannot be fathomless! I remember as a teenager watching Planet of the Apes where at the end, Charlton Heston discovers that he is in fact on earth and not some strange planet because as he rides a horse along the beach, he sees the Statue of Liberty’s head in the sand. Now, tell me please, where the fuck is the rest of her? Seriously, I had a hyperventilating attack when I saw that.

Socially, I’ve tried to mask. I’ve done quite well at it, over the years but it’s exhausting and I don’t want to now I’m older. I should add I was very good at my job. Very practical and conscientious and people could truly rely on me to complete a task. But on a works night out....I’d arrive late and go home early!

I prefer to animals to people. This is common I’m told in asd. Animals are straight forward. No hidden agenda. I can talk forever if I bump into a dog walking friend but when they’ve suggested meeting for a coffee in town, I’m full of excuses as to why I can’t.

I need lots of downtime. If I’m overtired/overloaded I just kind of shutdown and then people are all asking “are you ok? You’re quiet, what’s up?” I hate that.

I rehearse conversation. Revisit old conversations and think about what I could/should have said.

There’s more but I need to walk the dog....

GourmetGold Thu 18-Oct-18 21:08:12

Really sensitive to light, always squint in flash photos and have to wear sunglasses outside.

I don't mind background noise, except when I need to study/read/concentrate, then I need silence.

Very introverted, get very very tired being around others.

Can waffle on about favourite subject.

I can't handle friendships very well, get tired and don't want regular meet ups.
I like deeper conversation on serious subjects, not small talk (find small talk painful).

Hopeless at organisation and time management...actually I seem to have no concept of time at all! I'm always running late. I forget to do things and forget ideas unless I write them down.
Have dropped out of most courses since school as I can't keep up..very depressing sad.

Really good at art...drawing what's in front of me quite accurately...would have liked to be an artist/something creative, but my art teachers seemed to hate me for my ability... and made my life a misery, so I gave up on it.
Linked to I'm able to notice very small details and patterns in things that other people don't seem to have noticed.

Obsessive interests and hobbies.

Need comfortable clothes, hate jeans, anything tight, love stretch jersey clothes, even my skirts are jersey. Hate high heels.

Suffer with anxiety, worry and depression, found exercise and CBT really helpful.

I used to be an air hostess for years....very hard to believe!..tight clothes, high heels, punctuality, lots socializing shock grin..and bizarrely, I enjoyed it!

GourmetGold Thu 18-Oct-18 21:10:54

Forgot to add, I love being at home with my usual routine and don't like going out for the day unless it's something I'm really interested in, even then I struggle to get myself out the door!

GourmetGold Thu 18-Oct-18 21:17:01

I also liked the Greek myths as a child, like other posters and studied classical civilization, new interest in ancient aliens is a bit similar I guess.

GourmetGold Thu 18-Oct-18 21:37:42

Can absorb large amounts of information in a short period of time..if I'm interested in the subject.

willdoitinaminute Thu 18-Oct-18 21:58:12

I prefer conversation with men they don’t do that hard to read group of girls type chatter which totally confuses me.
I like Chris Evans his mind flits around just like mine. A lot of people dislike him for this reason. I know it’s really annoying, I become bored with linear conversation though.
I have a forensic memory of past events ( very good visual memory) but forget appointments, birthdays etc.
I have a good a friend who is just like me and although we often confuse each other to me she is normal!
I have learnt how to do conversation but often find it a struggle not to interrupt or correct. It takes a lot of concentration so prefer one to one where the cues are simpler to follow.

GourmetGold Thu 18-Oct-18 22:10:30

Always want to know the truth. Hate injustice.

GourmetGold Thu 18-Oct-18 22:21:45

I agree about preferring conversation with men.
I also find women who like girly chatter can often be fishing for reassurance, wanting compliments which I find really irritating..I don't see the point in going over & over problems...mean boyfriend?? Just ditch him...don't go on & on about it!!...sorry bit harsh blush

BlackeyedGruesome Tue 23-Oct-18 00:31:32

snap, except for memorising number plates.

I do count types of traffic though. it is comforting.

and I get special interests that really really need to be followed for a bit, then dropped completely.

sensory issues, need to chew all the fecking time, hate some noises,

BlackeyedGruesome Tue 23-Oct-18 00:32:07

some clothes are unpleasant to wear as they irritate the skin.

toffee1000 Thu 25-Oct-18 00:03:48

I don’t have major sensory issues, but I dislike tight clothing. I’m OK with some skinny jeans, though, and leggings. It’s mainly on my upper half that I don’t like tight stuff. I also don’t really like long sleeves unless they’re quite baggy. There are some repetitive noises I don’t like, mainly ones people make with their mouths, although I just find them irritating rather than meltdown-inducing.

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