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Calmer Easier Happier Homework - Q&A with author Noël Janis Norton - ANSWERS BACK

72 replies

RachelMumsnet · 07/02/2013 12:09

'I have to sit next to her the whole time or she just stares out of the window'.

'He says it's too hard before he's barely looked at it'.

'Trying to cope with three children's homework is driving me mad. They all need me at the same time'.

'He keeps telling me there's no homework, but that can't be true'.

If you identify with any of these problems, then you may wish to join our Q&A this week with author Noël Janis Norton, who claims ''Homework doesn't have to be a hassle or a conflict!' Her latest book Calmer Easier Happier Homework offers practical strategies to parents with school children aged 5 - 16.

Noël is a former teacher and an internationally renowned authority on the learning and behaviour of children and adolescents. She also offers classes and consultations at the Calmer, Easier, Happier Parenting Centre in London. She joined mumsnet last year for a webchat about Calmer Easier Happier Parenting.

Post your questions to Noël before the end of Monday 11th February and you'll be entered into a draw to win one of ten copies of her Calmer Easier Happier Homework. We'll post up her answers on Monday 18th February.

OP posts:
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gazzalw · 07/02/2013 13:12

This is very timely. We have a bright DS who is at a super-selective grammar. He has always been a tike about homework, even at primary school, but we had high hopes that the routine of must-do, assessed homework at secondary school would make a difference. The problem is that he doesn't get enough homework to have made it a routine, daily activity. He still thinks that "his time" is play (Minecraft) time and that homework is some type of adjunct to this rather than the other way round.

Do you have a solution that will be easy to impose without too much pain? It's also having a knock-on effect on his younger DD (who currently is more receptive to hers but I fear that big brother's attitude may well rub off).

Thanks and accepting that there may be no conflict-free answer to this one!

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JenaiMorris · 07/02/2013 13:21

How on earth do you convince that "good enough" isn't good enough?

I'm not that pushy but Y7 ds does the bare minimum when it comes to HW. They are told what they need to do to reach level 3, 4, 5, 6 with all of their subjects and this is very clearly spelt out when they get extended pieces of HW to do but as far as ds is concerned once he's done enough to get a L4 (for example) he's apparently finished Hmm

Drives me nuts!

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gazzalw · 07/02/2013 13:33

Ha, JenaiMorris, we are singing from the same hymn book. DS thinks if he's been told to spend twenty minutes on a piece of homework that he literally can down tools once the 20 minutes is up!

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PolkadotCircus · 07/02/2013 14:28

Is it mean to insist it is written and presented beautifully,apparently it is and nobody else has to?Hmm

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PolkadotCircus · 07/02/2013 14:30

Also how do you tackle doing extra,dd could do with a bit of extra work on her maths but refuses as it didn't come from school.To insist or not,that is the question.

I haven't yet.

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phyliszaltman9 · 07/02/2013 21:23

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Paddlinglikehell · 07/02/2013 23:20

DD 8 (y3) gets homework every night, supposed to take no longer than 30 mins, but if she hasn't completed something in class, she has to finish it at home. I try to encourage her to do as much as she can at school, but I think she gets distracted, so it ends up coming home.

Firstly when is the best time to do homework? I find if she comes in, has a drink and snack it is hard to then get her to start homework, but it seems mean to do it as soon as she walks in the door. Weekends the same, she argues about it and I end up getting cross. If she doesn't want to do it, should I just leave it for her to take the consequences at school, or made her sit down and do it? which ends up with her being in a huff, bashing things about and generally messing about, so I get cross again!

Stupid thing is, that more often than not, she is quite capable of doing what has been given.

I need to break ths cycle!

Thanks.

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Bonsoir · 08/02/2013 08:16

The majority of the responsibility for homework, and the ease with which children accomplish it, lies with schools/teachers, not parents.

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PolkadotCircus · 08/02/2013 10:50

I have to say there is some truth in that.

At our school if it isn't done they stay in at playtime in a special room to do it with a fierce teacher.

I haven't called my dc's bluff yet but it is there as a final resort.

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Tee2072 · 08/02/2013 10:55

I have nothing to add, because my son doesn't get homework yet, I just had to mention that I keep reading the title as 'Calmer Easter happier homework' and keep wondering what Easter has to do with it...

I'll get me coat...

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JenaiMorris · 08/02/2013 11:34

I reckon a lot of the world's ills could be put right with a special room and a fierce teacher Grin

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TantieTowie · 08/02/2013 11:36

My question is: how can I set up good homework habits - and what should those habits be?

The background is that homework is kind of elective for my DS (6, year 1) We read with him, but there are also very optional options to extend his learning with spellings, maths etc. After school I tend to play an educational game, listen to some reading with DS, or recently write some thank you's (for Christmas and birthday) before his sister comes home from nursery. But should I be pushing the spelling, for instance, more? He seems to absorb what he learns at school very easily. I don't want to over pressure, or understretch him - how much is the right amount?

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Donki · 08/02/2013 13:16

What is the evidence that homework in Primary, and particularly learning spellings for tests, has any benefit whatsoever?

(Reading with your children is a different kettle of fish. And if I could be arsed to look up the research has been shown to be beneficial

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PopMusic · 08/02/2013 18:56

Ok, my boy is only in reception but as a teacher I am concerned that he does not want to do any reading at home. He refuses to read his reading scheme books and even bribery does not work. I know he is young but I am worried that its setting the pattern for the future. By the way, he won't even let me read to him!

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ThreeBeeOneGee · 08/02/2013 19:14

My children generally have quite a good homework routine and do most of it independently and unprompted, but my eldest (Y8) occasionally has a big project or long essay to do and he finds it difficult to plan and even harder to get started with the first paragraph. How do I teach him the skills he needs to break the task down into manageable steps?

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aristocat · 08/02/2013 21:36

The latest for my DS (yr 6) is spellings and their meanings Such a good idea and I cannot think why this is not done anyway. Is this the same at other schools - that spellings are taught but pupils may not know what the words actually mean!

Personally I dont think that he gets much homework. Literacy, Maths and spellings weekly (probably one hours work in total)

My question is would you say its easier to do the hardest homework first or leave it until last? I suggest to DS that he tackles the hardest homework first but he always saves that until he has completed everything else.

Thank you.

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Firewall · 11/02/2013 15:25

How do you make homework fun for younger children?

How do you draw the balance between making sure children do some extra work to help them improve but not putting them off education?

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nevergoogle · 11/02/2013 15:53

I have an 8 year old son who is brilliant at reading, making up stories, drawing very detailed pictures. He can tell you huge amounts of information about professional cycling or formula 1 or world war 2.

Put maths homework in front of him....not a clue.

I mean really, NOT A FLIPPING CLUE!

and he's trying bless him, but it doesn't make any sense to him.

for example. the following recipe makes a batch of 12 cupcakes, you need to make 96 cupcakes, how many batches do you need to make?

er 96?, er self raising flour?, er birmingham? Really, NOT A FLIPPING CLUE!

Help!

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KumquatMae · 11/02/2013 16:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DameMargotFountain · 11/02/2013 16:01

do you not think by giving homework to younger children has the reverse effect of getting them into good habits?

i do

if a parent isn't engaged with what the child has been set, or if the child has SEN (i'm thinking ASD here), then the battle that ensues will set them all in good stead for a fight the whole of their school life

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DameMargotFountain · 11/02/2013 16:03

Blush at the dreadful english i've written there, i can hold a conversation, honest

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InMySpareTime · 11/02/2013 16:52

I have found the biggest barrier to calm homework is the DCs sport/social/scouting commitments.
How can I arrange homework so that they can get it done and still go to sewing club/scouts/brownies/drama/drums/guitar/rugby/football?

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nevergoogle · 11/02/2013 16:57

inmysparetime, your post comes up on threads i'm on as...

I have found the biggest barrier to calm homework is the DCs

Grin

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InMySpareTime · 12/02/2013 07:34

Sadly that is also true as I work from homeGrin.

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Picturesinthefirelight · 12/02/2013 10:36

We're having big problems.

I'm makng good progress with ds (year 4)who used to have total meltdowns. He needs a lot of 1:1 support and the same is happening in school too. he is clever but procrastinates.

however the biggest problem is dd (year 6). She's got away with murder as we have spent so much time with ds and being called into school about him that we have assumed all is well with dd.

The big problem is she lies about having homework and acts dippy. Last week I asked her every night what homework she had and set aside time. She told me none except history research which she supposedly set about doing having taken books from the library. i found out yesterday there was a specific list of questions she was supposed to answer which she had ignored. She tried to tell me she didn't know she had them.


She tells her teachers she has done homework but left it at home and they beleive her, she charms them. I've tried threateing her with activities - she dances and acts so has to sometimes have time off school to perform and the conditions of her licence means school work is supposed to be kept up with and school permission sought. She blamed her last escapade on having to go to a piano lesson (at school) so missed the sheet. i found the sheet this morning and threatened to cancel piano. She just nodded and said yes.

I've tried all sort to help organise her. she "forgets" to write in her homework diary or bring it home so I can't see the teacher comments. Before Christmas she was made to miss an end of term dance club performance because she had detention over a piece of English homework that had gone on over 3 weeks.

She goes to high school next year how the hell can I make her buck her ideas up?

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