Helping your child with exam preparation? Join our webchat with author and journalist Matthew Syed, Wednesday 13 April, 1-2pm

[RachelMumsnet]

It’s the first day of the final school term and for many this means serious revision ahead of the summer exams. We’ve invited author and journalist Matthew Syed to join us on Wednesday 13 April at 1pm to help you assist your children in their exam preparation. Join him on Wednesday between 1 and 2pm or post your question in advance here.

Matthew’s latest book Black Box Thinking: Marginal Gains and the Secrets of High Performance explains how to turn failure into success and through fascinating case studies shows how black box thinkers have faced up to their mistakes and used them as part oftheir future strategy for success. Their lessons can be applied across every field – from sport to education, from business to health. Matthew will be on hand to answer your questions and offer advice on how to help your child - and you - face challenges both in education and in life generally.

Matthew Syed is a columnist for The Times, and the author of two acclaimed books on the science of high performance. Before becoming a writer, Matthew was the England table tennis number one for almost a decade, three-times Commonwealth Champion, and twice competed for Great Britain in the Olympic Games.

[Swanwith2necks]

This has come at a great time for me. My eldest son is doing AS levels this summer. He worked really hard for his GCSEs last year and passed with flying colours but things have been a bit different since he started at 6th form. For starters he's going out...loads! I understand this as I remember lower 6th myself as a time of partying/new found freedom but he flopped 2 of his AS level mocks and although he has been working over Easter, I don't feel he's putting in enough work to turn things around in the Summer.

Part of the problem is that AS level grades no longer count toward the final exam but the results are important in terms of getting offers from Universities next year and also a good indicator of how he's getting on with the work so far. How can I help him learn from his bad mock results and reignite the determination and ambition he had last year?

[TensionWheelsCoolHeels]

I'm a few years off this stage but tagging in to see what's discussed. I enjoy Matthew's contributions on the press preview when discussing topical subjects in the news so I'm curious to hear what he has to say on the subject. Sorry, not got a question

[ParadiseCity]

My question is what does Ride On Time mean?

[Bebee]

I also have a dd doing AS this year who did well at GCSE but seems very burned out by it all and unmotivated. One the one had we are looking at Uni together and planning on her having an independent life in a year or so. on the other I ended up having to make her AS revision timetable and nag her to stick to it - so my question is is there anything wrong in parents being involved in "motivating" their children when they are 17 and arguably should be left to motivate themselves? I know people say leave them to it, but it's hard to sit back and watch them fail if you think they could do better with a bit of help (nagging):)
If I'm not supposed to be involved - any ideas how I can help her motivate herself better without resorting to bribery - (which I'm not keen to do!)

[catslife]

I have no idea who Mathew Syed is.... but what I want to know is what counts as success in regards to exams.
What's portrayed in the press is that GCSEs are easy and that anything less than As and A*s isn't seen as successful. So how do you measure success for an average child who is more likely to obtain Bs and Cs and whose friends will obtain higher grades?

[forkhandles4candles]

How to motivate the child who knows she lags behind her peers?

[guerre]

catslife- he wrote 'Bounce' which is about how practice pays off, and a growth mindset, how people shouldn't be limited by what they perceive as their natural abilities, but rather that continuously doing something over and over again enables you to excel at it. Like praising children's efforts, not their achievements, IYSWIM. Great book.

I think failure is hugely important, that we cannot learn unless we fail. I have taught my DC this, and it's been successful in their progress in chess and maths in particular. I think that something that was personally very difficult for me as a young adult was dealing with failure, as it was something that had I never had to deal with as a child. It's a very hard thing to learn to do as a adult, with your mindset and opinions already formed.

[neolara]

I loved Bounce. Fantastic book.

[CaptainNelson]

My question would be on motivating a child to revise who has always had it easy in terms of achieving high grades and doesn't want to admit/accept that this almost certainly won't always be the case. Only at GCSE level now, but I'd like him to set up sensible habits sooner rather than later, having seen other similar children slide a long way in 6th form.

[RachelMumsnet]

Hodder have kindly offered 3 signed copies of Black Box Thinking up for grabs. Everyone who joins the webchat or posts up a question in advance will be entered into the draw and we'll announce the winners post webchat tomorrow at 2pm (ish).

[MrsOriginalBear]

My question is how to motivate my DS who finished his mock GCSEs at the end of Feb/beginning of March (so pretty late) and did pretty well? My concern is that he may be feeling a bit complacent, but I'm wondering if this is a bit of revision fatigue too? Any ideas about how to find a balance between a little (benign) pressure from his parents and trusting that he will/is putting in the necessary preparation (as he says he is)? He is constantly being made aware that for his cohort there will be no AS levels next year, so his GCSE results will be all universities have to go on.

[PirateSmile]

I enjoyed reading Bounce but my God, all those dads who've been told their dc has to practice their chosen sport the sport the dad played as a kid and never made it as a professional for 10,000 hours are sucking the joy out of their dc's lives.

-And everybody elses'-

My question is,

Is children's sport too serious too young?

My experience is that nowadays, children who are perceived to have not made the grade at 11,12,13 are considered to be wasting their time. Fewer children seem to play sport for sport's sake. If I had the opportunity I would start a campaign to address this, similar to the 'this girl can' campaign. I'd be interested in your thoughts.

[gleegeek]

Loads of really pertinent questions here! Really looking forward to the Web chat - have an anxious but able dd (12) who works really hard all year but tends to panic in tests. Would like to set her up for success for gcse rather than panic when it's too late to do anything about it
Also looking forward to an answer to PirateSmile's question!

[Arsenicinthesugarbowl]

I'd like to know how to help my DD who is 16 and about to take GCSEs manage the pressure of revision while still taking breaks etc. She sits for hours revising and I'm sure that her brain needs some down time. However she worries she will fail otherwise. She tends to get quite anxious about exams anyway so would be grateful for advice on how best to support her!

[decisionsdecisions123]

What to do about the child who seems to put very little effort into study but is apparently capable of achieving decent grades but will resist any form of parental involvement in revision.

Also, what's this about anything less than an A grade not being worthy??

[Thistle72]

My ds is sitting his exams next month. He was diagnosed with moderate dyslexia in December last year. I feel overwhelmed now by the amount of work he must do. The school had him down as disruptive which had actually been down to his undiagnosed dyslexia. He is relieved now that he is not "thick" as he thought, but I feel that I must do everything possible to make sure he passes. He attends revision at school and we are doing 2 hours a night. Focusing on his English. Could you advise me how to help him best and how to curtail my escalating anxiety over it all. Many thanks.

[AddToBasket]

I read Bounce and it changed my life and my parenting. It's the book that has had the most influence on me in the last decade and I am always recommending it.

Do you have any practical tips for how to help children receive results and feedback in a positive and productive way? Especially when they might be hugely disappointed (missed uni places, etc) Thanks.

[wavingnow]

I fear I've probably got it wrong but when there is so much pressure out there I don't want mine feeling like failures if they don't get these mega high grades. Secretly of course I am concerned that I'm failing them by not pushing. So my question is how do you encourage without that encouragement making them end up worrying that their efforts are not good enough?

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

My DD is just coming up to her AS exams in a few weeks time!
She's worried that she's not done enough revision especially over Easter and has been talking about failing them and other rather drastic talk in last few days. She did do some revision most days over Easter though, even though she also had a brief residential trip away with a youth group. I think she's also doing at least as much as she did last year and she did well in her GCSE's. AS mocks in Feb didn't go so well though.

So question is, given where are ...... How can she make the best use of the 6 weeks or so she has left before exams?

She's also doing Art which takes up a lot of her energy and time. Art exam is a little earlier at end of April. But still there's only two clear weeks after Art is over before she takes her other three.

Hopefully she'll be dropping one after AS for next year

[RachelMumsnet]

Hello all and welcome to the webchat. Matthew arrived at MNHQ just in time for a fire drill which has pushed us back a minute but bear with us and he'll be online in just a minute to answer your questions.

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

Here with my brew and hoping for some encouraging words and helpful pointers for the next few weeks. Hope they're getting you one too Matthew?

[MatthewSyed]

Hello, this is Matthew. Thanks for joining me today. Going to start answering questions now!

[MatthewSyed]

@Swanwith2necks

This has come at a great time for me. My eldest son is doing AS levels this summer. He worked really hard for his GCSEs last year and passed with flying colours but things have been a bit different since he started at 6th form. For starters he's going out...loads! I understand this as I remember lower 6th myself as a time of partying/new found freedom but he flopped 2 of his AS level mocks and although he has been working over Easter, I don't feel he's putting in enough work to turn things around in the Summer.

Part of the problem is that AS level grades no longer count toward the final exam but the results are important in terms of getting offers from Universities next year and also a good indicator of how he's getting on with the work so far. How can I help him learn from his bad mock results and reignite the determination and ambition he had last year?

Thank you, very interesting! Always worth framing motivational messages in temrs of what he cares about. He wants to get into a good uni? position the exams as a key route in. He wants to change the world? first he has to understand the world. He wants to have a great time? He will have an amazing time if he is at a uni that really stretches him, etc (as well as has a terrific social life)

Does that make sense?

[MatthewSyed]

@Bebee

I also have a dd doing AS this year who did well at GCSE but seems very burned out by it all and unmotivated. One the one had we are looking at Uni together and planning on her having an independent life in a year or so. on the other I ended up having to make her AS revision timetable and nag her to stick to it - so my question is is there anything wrong in parents being involved in "motivating" their children when they are 17 and arguably should be left to motivate themselves? I know people say leave them to it, but it's hard to sit back and watch them fail if you think they could do better with a bit of help (nagging):)
If I'm not supposed to be involved - any ideas how I can help her motivate herself better without resorting to bribery - (which I'm not keen to do!)

It's a tough balance, isn't it? Independent motivation, where kids are driven because they love their subjects, is very powerful. But there is nothing wrong with giving a push now and again.

Praise her when she tries hard, when she makes commitments, when she shows drive and curiosity. Perhaps take the focus a little away from the exam result she is workign towards, and onto the inherent fascination in the subjects she is doing.

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

Sounds like we're in a similar kind of place Swan only here I'd say DD is more worried than I am. But in same boat regarding upcoming AS exams, good GCSE results and rather disastrous mocks. But they're just fancy practice papers right?!
Liking the advice about talking about future possibilities in a positive way Matthew.
Both my DD and younger DS are beginning to have some exciting ideas of what they'd like to do next ....