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Nightmare Incident with Neighbour's Parcel- please sympathise and advise?

(328 Posts)
BitOfFun Tue 23-Mar-10 20:27:32

I am not having any tea now after The Most Recent Incident shockangryenvy<--that one is for sick btw...

Background- dd2 is severely autistic with learning disabilities, and, er, bowel issues. Aged nine.

Was on mumsnet and watching Eggheads (I could take Kevin, if anyone's interested), and could hear dd2 giggling and playing in the hall and landing. Confident that other doors were locked, I left her to it, thinking I'd give her fifteen minutes or so before I bathed her. Eggheads finished, I opened the livingroom door to the most overwhelming stench of SHIT coming from upstairs, and saw dd2 lying at the top of the stairs chewing what looked like a binbag.

I try to pull it out of her mouth, hoping she hasn't swallowed too much, then I look past her and see two enormous (think cowpat) lumps of soft poo on the carpet, a big plastic postal bag which looks like it's been used to wipe the poo up, and a brown leather pouffe I didn't recognise . Which, on closer inspection, is plastered in shit too.

Then I remember that this morning I accepted a large parcel from John Lewis for a neighbour, which I'd left by the front door [heartsink]

I have cleaned it up, but it's probably watermarked or something- I literally had to sluice the stuff off under the shower attachment, and nailbrush faeces out of the tiny grooved swirl pattern embossed into the leather.

Nobody is in next door yet to explain. I have had to throw the packaging out.

On the plus side, dd2 is clearly no longer constipated grin

So, if it is water-marked etc, do I have to pay for it? I didn't sign for it, but parcel man noted where he'd left it, and I don't want to get him in trouble.

TrillianAstra Sat 27-Aug-11 14:50:57

Pouffe of poo! grin

BitOfFun Sat 27-Mar-10 19:13:05

Heehee- thankfully not grin. If I never see another brown pouffe in my life it will be too soon!

TidyBush Sat 27-Mar-10 18:24:44

BOF - have been lurking on this brilliant thread since it started and I'm wondering if there has there been some comeback from your neighbour as my DH has just told me that someone on our local freecycle thingy is looking for a dark brown pouffe - it's you isn't it? grin

Cammelia Fri 26-Mar-10 22:01:33

Oh pish myshelf larfing grin grin

BitOfFun Fri 26-Mar-10 20:45:55

Glad to here it- sorry it wasn't more tasteful grin

fuzzypicklehead Fri 26-Mar-10 20:25:23

Ok, so I'm very new here... But on the basis of this thread alone, I'd guess I'll be sticking around

chipmonkey Fri 26-Mar-10 17:24:53

<<Waves to rainbowdays>>

How are you keeping?

rainbowdays Fri 26-Mar-10 16:30:30

grin thank you for the laughs, will never look at a brown pouffe the same way again!

BitOfFun Fri 26-Mar-10 15:35:26

Well, I wouldn't have thought of it- but you've put the idea in my head now, so I won't be able to resist wink

Jux Fri 26-Mar-10 14:58:35

I love ScreamingEagle's suggestion that your neighbour might be half dog...

Has there been no come back yet? I suppose if she notices a smell in the next few days and she mentions it to you, you could come over all knowledgable and say "oh, it wouldn't be Moroccan leather would it? They make that out of camel dung and it's supposed to smell like that"

No, I suppose you couldn't really do that, could you?

SoupDragon Fri 26-Mar-10 12:24:07

I hope you weren't sitting on someone else's pouffe at the time, Giraffes...

LongtimeinBrussels Thu 25-Mar-10 23:53:44

I was going to go to bed early(ish) tonight and came across this thread. 316 messages later and tears are rolling down my cheeks, and the early night has turned into a late one!

Thanks BoF grin!

giraffesCANdriveAcar Thu 25-Mar-10 23:16:06

A little bit of pee nearly came out when I was reading this. Hillarious.

MrsTicklemouseWantsBunnyEars Thu 25-Mar-10 23:13:33

BitOfFun Thu 25-Mar-10 23:02:06

Er....that is a slim possibility. Perhaps unconsciously?


Carulli Thu 25-Mar-10 23:01:20

Have now read all 13 pages - definitely the funniest thread for ages. Well done and thank you!

MrsTicklemouseWantsBunnyEars Thu 25-Mar-10 22:59:00

BoF lets be honest, you deliberately said shat in the hope she would hear sat

thank you for cheering me up after a crap day!

PictureThis Thu 25-Mar-10 22:35:46

OMG, this has made me snort with laughter gringringrin

BitOfFun Thu 25-Mar-10 22:16:53

Do read the rest- it develops...grin

Carulli Thu 25-Mar-10 22:11:59

Just realised that I only read the first page of this thread before recent posting and am completely out of date with goings on. Sorry!

Carulli Thu 25-Mar-10 22:08:24

Poor you! I might be naive but I think John Lewis are great and I really believe that if you tell them what's happenened they will immediately send your neighbours a new one and let you keep (or throw away) the old one. You need to phone rather than email though.

I would explain to the neighbours what's happened. If they're decent human beings they'll understand, presuming JL are sending them a new one. If they're mean then they need to get life into perspective and you've got enough to keep you busy without worrying about them.

Good luck!

princessmel Thu 25-Mar-10 21:41:53


Vulgar Thu 25-Mar-10 21:40:14

Jacksmama- I DO think it is absolutely hilarious! I think
i would have be surprised if someone I didn't know that well used the word "shat"
Not offended in the slightest. wink just surprised . . and would have probably thought they said "sat" too.

Jacksmama Thu 25-Mar-10 21:32:28

I got up on the grumpy side of the bed today. blush

Jacksmama Thu 25-Mar-10 21:30:48

Whoops. blush Sorry!

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