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Does anyone fancy going a bit Stepford with me?

(623 Posts)
BEAUTlFUL Mon 24-Nov-08 22:32:30

I regret that title now! but will carry on regardless...

Basically, I have recently read a marriage book called "Fascinating Womanhood" by helen Andelin, written in the 1960's, and am starting to practise it in my marriage. It involves a lot of work, but good work, IYKWIM, accepting DH, admiring him, appreciating his efforts, listening to him, being a "domestic goddess", taking over childcare completely, settling him with a drink when he comes home, etc.

I'm LOVING it and actually -- weirdly -- feel a lot happier and more confident since I started it! I know it's not going to be popular with many of you, but is there anyone out there who fancies trying it out?

We could do it like a sort of bookclub, and follow the assignments every week. It promises to make your DH absolutely gaga in love again, v attentive, romantic, etc.

But more than that, it really teaches you acceptance, so if they're not being perfect, it really doesn't get to you as much. Or at all.

I know it'll get scoffed at, but I don't care really!

Anyone? It's hard work, but I'm convinced it's worth it as after just 3 weeks, DH and I feel so much closer, he is saying ILY all the time, we are laughing again, holding hands in bed, etc.

Even my mum has noticed. We went there for lunch and afterwards Mum rang up and said, "What's with you two? Your DH looks so happy and confident, and your body-language together was so 'united'!"

BEAUTlFUL Mon 24-Nov-08 22:53:58

It's not that extreme. For most SAHMs, for example, it wouldn't be that hard to reorganise your day so it's peaceful when DH gets home from work.

Oh, can't we just try it for fun? As an experiment?

MinkyBorage Mon 24-Nov-08 22:54:00

and he said that BEAUTIFUL sounds like a nice person........the silly cunt

anyfucker Mon 24-Nov-08 22:54:02

my dh likes my spunkiness and the fact that I have a mind of my own

and if he doesn't, he better bloody had do, RIGHT NOW


MinkyBorage Mon 24-Nov-08 22:54:36

my husband being the silly cunt obviously, not BEAUTIFUL

snowleopard Mon 24-Nov-08 22:55:59

I do like the title though, "Fascinating Womanhood" - just think it's wrong for the topic. Being a self-subjugating drone isn't all that fascinating is it really? The title makes me think of weirdy artist ladies prancing on beaches at night, mooncups and merkins and all that kind of thing.

dsrplus8 Mon 24-Nov-08 22:56:03

beautiful my dh would ask what i was up to ?if i did that,or what i was after/how much did i spend?grin...still if it works for you and your happy doing it then good for you.

dittany Mon 24-Nov-08 22:56:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nappiesgalore Mon 24-Nov-08 22:57:07

reorganise my day so its peaceful when he gets home??

did you really say that??


snowleopard Mon 24-Nov-08 22:58:30

Why can't he reorganise his day so it's peaceful for you? Especially if you're a SAHM, I bet you need peace more than he does.

solidgoldbrass Mon 24-Nov-08 22:59:12

You'd get a better, healthier dynamic in a properly-negotiated full-on 24/7 BDSM relationship, you know.

Chirpygirl Mon 24-Nov-08 22:59:29

I may be missing something but why should my day be stressed and rushed so the house 'looks nice' for him and is peaceful for him?
What about my peace?
I make his tea and do majority of housework but I don't worship my DH, he's my best mate and has been sicne I was 17, he's not 'better' than me so why should I treat him as such.

BennyAndJoon Mon 24-Nov-08 23:00:20

Oh dear god

DH would freak if I did that

He would wonder what happened to my brain.

I work as full time as him, but he is away during the week, so when he gets home he gets hit by an addoring, screaming, excited toddler and a demand for adoption forms(from me)

Then he gets a GnT, and he tries to persuade me to have sex with him before the children are in bed

That seems enough for him

MinkyBorage Mon 24-Nov-08 23:00:46

I want my husband to realise how hard it is, and he needs to pay for having eaten his lunch without anyone poking it or trying to steal it, and going to the bog on his own

Englebert Mon 24-Nov-08 23:00:48

So I'm supposed to re-organise my day and turn into a servant just for the privilege of listening to dh whinge release his inner resentment?

What a bargain. hmm

snowleopard Mon 24-Nov-08 23:01:05

My DP likes my sarcasm! Or so he says.

CharleeInChains Mon 24-Nov-08 23:01:17


Let me just go and fetch DP his pipe and slippers so he can relax in front of the fire with a Brandy while i sew in the Parlour.

Seriously???? hmm

BennyAndJoon Mon 24-Nov-08 23:01:23

pmsl at Solid

Sazisi Mon 24-Nov-08 23:01:50

I just asked DH if he'd like this arrangement, and he said he thinks I have enough people to look after without him adding to my burden - right answer

StayFrosty Mon 24-Nov-08 23:02:04

pmsl @ minky

dittany Mon 24-Nov-08 23:02:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeppermintPatty Mon 24-Nov-08 23:02:31

Hahaha. Beautiful I hope you are winding us up

Sazisi Mon 24-Nov-08 23:03:07

lol Dittany

thumbwitch Mon 24-Nov-08 23:03:51

"It's not that extreme. For most SAHMs, for example, it wouldn't be that hard to reorganise your day so it's peaceful when DH gets home from work."


Sorry, hysteria took over.

sweetgrapes Mon 24-Nov-08 23:04:46

It has some good points though.
<<sticks neck out>>

When I decide not to snap at everything dh does and tell him how wrong he is; life is easier and I am more relaxed myself.

However, with dh it's always 'give an inch, take a mile'. Me giving, him taking... so I have to tell him to f off too!

If I am playing the good wifey then he never says 'wow'/'good job' or anything. It's always picking on the bits that I have left. (am not super mom so there always is something left). It's like I up my standards and he ups his standards of bickering too!! So, I drop mine and tell him to f off and do his own blooming washing or whatever.grin

anyfucker Mon 24-Nov-08 23:05:06

ok, beautiful

you can tell us you were joking now......

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