The random comment men

(1000 Posts)
brokenbiscuitsx Wed 28-Jul-21 11:00:51

You know the ones, not the ‘leery car shouters’ but those who feel they can make comments about what you, a stranger, is doing when going about their business (and I’ll add not harming anyone!)

Just now I popped to the shop to collect a parcel, when I was there I grabbed a coffee from their Costa pod and a blueberry muffin. The man behind me piped up “You’ll get fat eating that” I was really taken aback so just said “thanks for your comment, random man” paid and then as I was walking out past him he said, no need to be so rude and mumbled ‘stroppy cow’ but I heard.

I wasn’t rude I just asserted myself and that is the issue isn’t it. He was expecting me to laugh along ‘oh I already am tee hee’ (I’m not) but no, I’m sick of it.

It happens too often as well. I have had a random man comment on how I could run better in the park when I was having a break and a man who saw my Led Zeppelin tshirt and said ‘what’s your favourite song then?’ So I said ‘Heartbreaker- you probably haven’t heard of it’ and he mumbled something at me and walked off (I knew he was trying to catch me out, hoping I didn’t know any songs!)

I don’t really know what my AIBU is, I guess, is it rude? Should I have just smiled sweetly like the passive woman I am meant to be. I’m just sick of these types of men! He took offence with me speaking up, perhaps he should learn not to make comments to random strangers.

Does anyone else get this, maybe I have that sort of face that men can’t help commenting to. If so, how do you cope with it?

Just, ugh, makes me angry.

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brokenbiscuitsx Wed 28-Jul-21 11:03:30

Those are just some examples of random comment men, if I sat down and thought about it I could probably think of many several more.

Also, makes me angry that also that he used weight as a put down. Like that’s all a woman is, whether she gets fat or not. I can’t articulate myself properly, but does anyone know what I mean? Like, oh no a man has told me I’ll get fat, better put the muffin down or I’ll no longer be attractive and obviously that’s my main aim in life!

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LadyCatStark Wed 28-Jul-21 11:04:17

I have a naturally miserable face 😂 and I always get, “smile, it might never happen!”

1) Why would I be wandering through Aldi car park with a huge smile on my face and
2) what if it already has happened?

Taliskerskye Wed 28-Jul-21 11:06:44

Cunts they are all cunts
Thank the lord everyday that you’re not married to one or one isn’t your dad.

And well done for answering back. The stupid cunting cunts

iamtheoneandonlyyy Wed 28-Jul-21 11:06:55

@LadyCatStark I had that once, I was also smoking a cigarette at the time and he said I shouldn't look so miserable and smoking was bad for me. My father had died that morning, once I explained funnily enough he shut up

iamtheoneandonlyyy Wed 28-Jul-21 11:07:19

I no longer smoke but still, jog on lol

DrSbaitso Wed 28-Jul-21 11:07:28

Yes, they piss me off.

"Thanks for your comment, random man" is a great response. Of course a woman who isn't delighted to have an unsolicited comment on her body and what she's eating is a stroppy cow. Long live stroppy cows.

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brokenbiscuitsx Wed 28-Jul-21 11:08:02

Exactly, who walks around with a perma grin like a crazed maniac. I feel like walking around and telling random men to “cheer up!”

Why do they do it? What do they think it will achieve? The worst I had, “smile you’d be so much more attractive!” Ugh, I’m not here for you to look at 🤮
.

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Taliskerskye Wed 28-Jul-21 11:08:05

I’m actually going to use
Thanks for your comment random man in the future

Queenoftheashes Wed 28-Jul-21 11:08:15

Yes it’s infuriating. Once a man told me “that’s no good for you” when walking down the road with a chicken sandwich. Also Adam Rickitt once told me to smile which got on my tits massively.

citycitycity Wed 28-Jul-21 11:08:33

thanks for your comment, random man

This is brilliant and I will remember it for future use!

PluggingAway Wed 28-Jul-21 11:09:28

I've lost count of the amount of random men who tell me off for not smiling at them.

I have never, ever, in my 35 years of life, had a woman tell me off for not smiling. Literally never happened.

brokenbiscuitsx Wed 28-Jul-21 11:09:46

Taliskerskye

Cunts they are all cunts
Thank the lord everyday that you’re not married to one or one isn’t your dad.

And well done for answering back. The stupid cunting cunts

I assume they want to catch you out and make you flustered I’m absolutely sure it’s a power play!!!

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Scrunchies Wed 28-Jul-21 11:10:43

“Smile sweetheart” angry

GAAAAAAH annoys me immensely. My dad is one of these and frequently tells me I’m in a mood or sulking when it’s just my normal face. Then I am pissed off.

Somethingsnappy Wed 28-Jul-21 11:11:39

I love your comment back OP! Perfect. I'll remember that one.

NoYOUbekind Wed 28-Jul-21 11:11:45

Thanks for your comment, random man is brilliant and I am pinching it. Men like this are cocks who believe women need their approbation to simply exist in public life. Cocks.

I mean, what was he expecting you to say? 'Thanks so much for your nutritional advice, you are completely correct and I will bin this chocolate muffin forthwith?'

Cock.

brokenbiscuitsx Wed 28-Jul-21 11:12:02

citycitycity

*thanks for your comment, random man*

This is brilliant and I will remember it for future use!

I saw it on a meme on Twitter and I’ve kept it in my pocket because (contrary to his I may be coming across) I’m actually not confrontational at all and really bad at this type of thing! blush

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Nerfelite Wed 28-Jul-21 11:13:14

I have a death stare I give these types of people. I don't even dignify their bullshit with a response.

Can I ask a legitimate question OP? Are you comparatively young? I've found a lot of the random man bullshit has dwindled as I reached my late 30s. Now I'm in my 40s, I am virtually invisible (thank fuck)

DrSbaitso Wed 28-Jul-21 11:13:42

A couple of times when I've had the "cheer up" and "smile" comments, I've opened my eyes very wide to serial killer proportions and leaned forward at them, staring and resolutely not smiling. I have very large and sunken eyes and honestly, it can look terrifying. And they got properly alarmed and backed off. Fuckers.

JayAlfredPrufrock Wed 28-Jul-21 11:13:53

I have serious resting bitch face. If I had a pound for every time someone random man had told me to cheer up I’d be a wealthy resting bitch face.

Although I did marry one of them 🙄

Tal45 Wed 28-Jul-21 11:14:11

I always want to say 'Sorry, who ARE you?' but in the moment I'm so thrown by their being rude to someone they know nothing about that my mind goes blank and I say nothing.

brokenbiscuitsx Wed 28-Jul-21 11:14:22

I also thought it would stop once I left my 20s but nope, still public property to be commenting on it seems. 😡

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brokenbiscuitsx Wed 28-Jul-21 11:15:59

Nerfelite

I have a death stare I give these types of people. I don't even dignify their bullshit with a response.

Can I ask a legitimate question OP? Are you comparatively young? I've found a lot of the random man bullshit has dwindled as I reached my late 30s. Now I'm in my 40s, I am virtually invisible (thank fuck)

No late 30s! I’d like to be invisible to these random comment men. It’s why I gave both headphones and a book with me on trains ha!

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RainbowZebraWarrior Wed 28-Jul-21 11:17:08

Yup. Had a lifetime of it and I'm so done.

A lot of blokes just don't think. I wouldn't dream of saying to someone who looked sad "hey, smile vinegar tits!" because I simply don't know their circumstances. Plus it's a shitty, shitty thing to say anyway.

I used to work with an apparently thoroughly decent bloke. Civil Servant, Magistrate, Mentor to disadnlvataged teenage boys... he was a total misogynistic cunt. Constantly commented on appearance, mocked the way you looked. Last straw for me was when I left the office early, clearly urgent and in distress. Asked me why my face was tripping me and how come I was finishing early. Again. I was actually off to give permission for my sisters life support to be switched off after a week in a coma and spend a little time saying goodbye. So yes, I was having one of several early finishes that week. I reported him. He was told to write me a letter of apology. I didn't respond or acknowledge.

Horrible, cunty, entitled, deeply lacking in awareness behaviour everywhere. Found online dating was riddled with it.

ButterflyBitch Wed 28-Jul-21 11:18:14

I’m stealing that, “thanks for your comment, random man.” Love it. Also yanbu. Why men feel the need to comment on what women are doing I do not know.

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