Whats the best quote you have heard from a parent in passing?

"not for billions of years and you'll be dead by then so it's all fine"

“It’s just a phase!”

“I know you can’t eat monkeys”

“Please stop licking the car, Penelope”

I know I've said "xxxxxx, please stop wrapping your penis around the pencil"

My dad used to say to us ' you're alright but you're on too long'

In a supermarket the other day I heard crying followed by an adult saying ‘a sticky bun and quavers isn’t a very good dinner, is it?’ it just tickled me as it was said so gently.

‘Put that hose down right now before you soak the lady next door!’

‘Don’t wee in the pond, it’s bad for the fish’ (said in a tone of total exasperation)

‘Just stop talking at me for 5 minutes pleeease’

‘Put the compost soup down, it’s splashing in my face’

I overheard myself saying 'take that police car out of the bubble machine' followed by 'have you put a helicopter in my tea?'. They hadn't. It was a small, red Alfa Romeo.

My dad used to tell us to go play on the motorway.

If the plane crashes then at least we all go down together

My dad used to say ‘go and play in the traffic’.

And also, ‘missing you already’.

This sounds like a fine dinner!

We used to get told to go and play with the buses.

I've heard myself say do not try and stick my car key in the dogs bum 🙈

So glad this thread came up because I overheard this the other day when I took DD to the park and it keeps making me smile.

"Remember your social cues! "

Said by a dad to a very chatty lad of about 9 or 10 who had just found a man in the park who was training a pigeon to fly and was running up to him to ask questions about it.

The man with the bird seemed shy (but not annoyed at the interruption) but the boy was so excited that he just kept on asking questions and then the man offered to let the lad have a go at holding the bird, and then they worked together to teach it how to fly and land on one another's shoulders.

It was like watching a very low budget version of Up. And it made me smile that the boy didn't really pay any attention to social cues but made a friend anyway.

At a stately home last Summer, in the poshest accent you can imagine.. "Be careful on the grass Tatah. There might be pooh pooh."

“KEEP IT IN YOUR HEAD!” - in her defence they had been in the car for about 8 hours and her dd11 had treated her to a commentary stream of consciousness throughout.

this still makes me weep with laughter

Big flashy people carrier, high fashion man gets out and unloads two matching small girls, all seemed dressed to the nines which was odd in a woodland carpark but never mind! A good deal of jolly hockey sticks talk about lovely walks and watching for birds and the like while coats were done up and hats were installed

I was hanging into the back of our car trying to wipe down the dogs, so unavoidably earwigging

Smallest child says "here i am finished with this" and passes something to her father

He took it and suddenly sort of wilted and said in a sad and not unhorrifed tone "would you please make sure the bogies are on the INSIDE of the tissue when you are done"

I always imagine his dreams of happy families, perfect children, gorgeous weekends, the whole thing.... all falling about his ears with that single snotty tissue

Overheard today in the street. Parent is walking a reluctant small child briskly up the hill, encouraging him by bellowing a rousing chorus of “we all live in a yellow submarine, a YELLOW SUBMARINE, a YELLOW SUBMARINE “

As the parent pauses for breath, a tiny voice pipes up “it’s stupid though, I don’t wanna live there” 🤣🤣

Love your timing, kid!

Heard DH say to niece 'Darling please don't poo in the litter tray while the cat's in it.'
She now calls that cat 'poo head'

The best one was when niece's grandmother said "Back in my day we ate all our broccoli and peas before we got pudding" and niece replied with "Back in my day Grannies were quiet"

"Pigeons don't wear shoes, you know that"

I never thought I'd have to repeatedly say "please use your toothbrush on your teeth, not your willy"

In the toilet cubicle next door:

Mum: Why are you wearing three pairs of pants?

Small boy: I like pants.