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Your most batshit parenting moments?

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Hassled Fri 22-Nov-19 21:18:08

For some reason today I remembered the MNer years ago who confessed to squirting no-tears shampoo directly into her eye to make sure it really was no-tears before using it on her baby.

I think my equivalent is probably banning DH ( who seriously loves The Cure) from ever playing Boys Don't Cry in case the DSs grew up thinking boys don't cry. The ban was in place for a solid 15 years.

Anyone else looking back and wincing at themselves?

selmabear Mon 30-Dec-19 01:58:48

I was so paranoid i was dressing my baby correctly for the weather I would call my mother every morning to ask her to go stand outside and then tell me how many layers to dress him in. This went on for weeks 🤷‍♀️😂

PennyGold Tue 10-Dec-19 14:59:43

@MellowMelly that's so funny! It really made me laugh.

Celledora Tue 10-Dec-19 09:00:40

Did. All. Of. The. Batshit. Things.

Ohyesiam Mon 09-Dec-19 05:51:58

* sure not sister, ffs

Ohyesiam Mon 09-Dec-19 05:51:18

I remember the countless times I felt my newborn’s pulse in her sleep to make sister she was alive (Ex nurse) .
When ds arrived I did it precisely 0 timesgrin

PrincessPain Mon 09-Dec-19 05:32:28

I had a planned c section with both my boys.
While waiting to go into surgery I heard someone elses baby start crying when they were born, it was amazing and I cried.
Had my own about an hour later. No crying. I felt and still feel so much Mum guilt that I got more emotional about someone elses baby.
Doesn't help that when DS2 was born I cried. Makes me feel even worse about DS1!
I'm also with everyone else, shouted at my DM for trying to give DS1 a white chocolate button at 6 months old, how dare she?
DS2 had chocolate pretty soon after I started weaning him and his brother is always trying to feed him snacks which arent really appropriate, but so far hasn't done him any harm.

elmosducks Sun 08-Dec-19 20:19:36

Reading this to DH and he just confessed to warming baby wipes on a night when changing nappies.

He also wore the ear defenders for a few days so they wouldn't be too tight for DS's head.

MellowMelly Thu 05-Dec-19 09:37:49

My daughter was very clingy. I couldn’t even have a bath without her crying her eyes out so rather than actually having a bath with her (a more sensible logical idea) I decided that the best idea would be to place her little baby bath in the living room and bathe in that whilst she was happily crawling around next to me. As you can imagine it was only a small baby bath so I’d literally sit in it with my legs out either side as there was no room for them. I would then get out and dip one leg in and shave and then repeat for the other. The most mortifying thing was one day her Father turned up unannounced and was buzzing to come in. When he failed to get an answer he came round to the back of the flat and peered in the window to of course find me starkers sitting in the baby bath legs akimbo blush
It was him that made the sensible suggestion of having a bath with her grin

Merename Wed 04-Dec-19 20:40:50

Oh so many. The main that comes to mind is the craziness I felt about breastfeeding. DD1 had a tongue tie that wasn’t diagnosed for a while and a terrible latch. I constantly got blocked ducts, mastitis and eventually these milk blisters on my nipples that kept recurring, and the only way to deal with them was to use a pin to lance them. I was literally sticking pins in my tits every few days for months. My husband thought I was insane and I thought I was doing the only possible thing I could.

And the OBSESSION about sugar. I remember very rudely snatching a baby biscuit another mum had given DD as it was a brand I wasn’t familiar with and it may have contained a trace of sugar. I genuinely believed that it was poison that would ruin her life forever, just a tad disproportionate.

danni0509 Wed 04-Dec-19 19:59:07

Got loads! Honestly. I am definitely that parent with ds.

When ds was about a yr old a kids plastic bucket fell off a shelf when he was in the bath and hit him on the head so after worrying about it all night I put the bucket back where it was and replicated the same situation to my head as it did to ds' to see if it was a hard whack and did I need to continue to worry or not. 🤣

I had an I candy when ds was born with an all silver metallic frame and when he was about a week old I'd walked to the shops and on the way back it starting raining then a thunderstorm, I ran all the way home with the pushchair incase it got struck by lightning. And when I say ran, I mean ran.

RolytheRhino Wed 04-Dec-19 19:24:18

It sounds sensible to me and my MIL to be did it with all 4 of her children.

Yep. Did it with my first, will with any other kids. Don't think it's PFB to consider the comfort of tiny newborns (or the risk of allergies-no joke). Run a cold tap on your tissue paper before each wipe next time you go to the toilet and see how you like it.

alexeiisamum Wed 04-Dec-19 13:24:56

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

HuloBeraal Tue 03-Dec-19 13:42:38

2,3, and 5 here.

firstimemamma Tue 03-Dec-19 08:49:45

@Illstartexercisingtomorrow nice bingo, I was definitely guilty of 1 and 3! I did 2 but don't really understand how it's 'PFB batshit' though. It sounds sensible to me and my MIL to be did it with all 4 of her children.

Illstartexercisingtomorrow Mon 02-Dec-19 23:55:46

Oh God this is hilarious and cringe inducing at the same time, particularly because I’ve done so many.

PFB batshit-bingo anyone?

Here’s mine:
1. Thinking everyone would steal my baby
2. Warm water for wiping her bottom with cotton wool
3. No flushing at night
4. When I was changing her nappy I screamed when she wee’d (onto the nappy). My poor mother’s face as she came bursting into the room to see what emergency had occurred.
5. Written out lists for every hour of dds routine - given to competent adults who had raised several children of their own
6. And my personal favourite which sends batshit to a whole new level - constructing a bamboo and sheet cage to go around the cot when we stayed at MILs in case dd noticed she was not in her usual room. FML what was wrong with us!!!

OfCourseICan Mon 02-Dec-19 14:08:57

@mynameiscalypso That's the best ever!!

Iwantacookie Mon 02-Dec-19 13:34:45

First time I left ds1 with my dm he was 6 weeks old and I even left her the number of the dentist just in case. Obviously batshit as he had no teeth and wasnt even registered at a dentist at this point.

mynameiscalypso Mon 02-Dec-19 12:34:48

I wanted to make a GP appt for DS because I was worried that his eyelashes were longer on one side than the other. My DH convinced me not to, thankfully.

HuloBeraal Mon 02-Dec-19 12:22:40

DC2 was in the NICU for 69 days as he was born prematurely. In the NICU they do record every feed and nappy change. They use PU for ‘passed urine’ and BO for ‘bowels open.’ I have a year long diary of when he PU and when he BO-ed. Even when I went back to work our nanny who had at that point looked after DS1 for 5 years joined in the madness unquestioningly. We had a Pediatrics follow up and the poor consultant asked me how much he was feeding and I whipped out my diary with all the NICU acronyms including EBM (expressed breast milk). She only looked a little surprised.
But then one day I was away somewhere and had forgotten the beloved diary. I was keeping these same notes on a sheet of paper and couldn’t remember the abbreviations PU and BO. I called up one of my NICU mum friends in hysterics and she reminded me. And also did not judge me because she too kept a similar diary for no good reason. Our kids are now 3 btw and doing fine and they have been discharged by the NHS! But yep I was only a little anal.

LongLiveThePenis Mon 02-Dec-19 12:21:02

@Smellslikebiscuits I did similar, I told my husband that he wasn't allowed to blow on PFB's food in case because of oral bacteria. She also had no teeth at the time!
I also used to sing to her to stop her crying, very very loudly. Constantly. Our poor neighbours.

PreschoolYes Mon 02-Dec-19 12:07:30

We did the write down feeds thing, probably for about a year! He was ff and it started as we were tired and clueless in the beginning we'd struggle to remember when he was last fed, despite feeding on demand.

Also, one of us sat in the back of the car with DS for longer than was, I suspect, necessary.

yellowallpaper Mon 02-Dec-19 11:44:25

Warmed the baby wipes in the microwave as they were too cold to touch his bum

eternallybaffled Mon 02-Dec-19 11:37:10

I'm on DC4 now and still have the odd moment of insanity. We were out Christmas shopping last week and a family went by us in the aisle laughing at something their baby had done in the trolley. My DS (11m) laughed along with them and they never noticed. I was FURIOUS that they didn't acknowledge him. As far as I am concerned they really hurt his feelings 🥺

OfCourseICan Mon 02-Dec-19 08:06:37

Most batshit moment was when we gave DD peanut butter for the first time. DH had the spoon and I had the phone with 99 already dialled, finger poised over the dial pad ready to dial the last nine in case of allergic reaction! Yes younger parents, we had no mobiles back then...

Mrsmummy90 Mon 02-Dec-19 00:42:15

Also I used an app to document every single feed/nappy/bath/sleep of pfb. I felt I had to monitor her routines and wanted to see how long her feeds were and how often she was pooping etc. I did this for about 10 months. blush

With dd2 I did this for around 2-3 days and then cba.

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