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People keep having sex in my hedge...

(908 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

eurgh Mon 25-Jun-18 17:00:14

I guess it's more of a WWYD as I know I'm NBU but every few nights people (I assume the same two) keep having sex in the hedge which divides my back garden from the road behind. It's pretty brazen because there's no real cover to hide under!
Every few nights I'll be out sitting with my new rescue dog and letting her potter about and I'll hear my hedge making groany sex noises. I'm so tempted to cough loudly or say something but for some reason I just keep quiet and feel weird listening to other people's sex noises!
So I guess more for fun, I ask you, what would you do?

arranfan Fri 06-Jul-18 20:56:15

Gazza and Tasha, romancing with glee,
TheRealNotDog said, "Nice night for it, G".

Pants half-mast, they shuffle to relocate,
NDN cries, "Gazza, that you, old mate?"

"This place is full of pervs" the lovers moan,
"Coitus interrupted twice..No oats sown!"

TheRealNotDog's hedge now unmolested,
Her noctural peace, reigns uncontested.

For G & T Mumsnet will be wistful
Pining for more liaisons al frisko.

We wish them well in some new Lover's Dell,
Will G & T last? Time alone can tell.

TheRealNotdog Fri 06-Jul-18 21:01:22

@arranfan that's brilliant!! Torn's got competition 😂🤷‍♀️

TornFromTheInside Fri 06-Jul-18 21:47:25

I've been outshone!

Bugger!

bellinisurge Sat 07-Jul-18 10:37:46

Don't push me 'cos I'm close to the .....he--edge.

TheRealNotdog Sat 07-Jul-18 13:07:16

I'm on the h-edge, of glory...

northernlites Sat 07-Jul-18 13:14:31

You take me to the h-edge of heaven
Tell me that my soul's forgiven
Hide you baby's eyes and we can,
You take me to the h-edge of heaven
One last time might be forever... 😂

DanFmDorking Sat 07-Jul-18 21:24:06

"When will you be mine?",
"Now!", she shouted, "Give it!".
They found their love divine,
United in the privet.

MelodyinLondon Tue 12-Nov-19 07:40:05

leave a nice picnic blanket and some pillows there for them.

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