People keep having sex in my hedge...

[eurgh]

I guess it's more of a WWYD as I know I'm NBU but every few nights people (I assume the same two) keep having sex in the hedge which divides my back garden from the road behind. It's pretty brazen because there's no real cover to hide under!
Every few nights I'll be out sitting with my new rescue dog and letting her potter about and I'll hear my hedge making groany sex noises. I'm so tempted to cough loudly or say something but for some reason I just keep quiet and feel weird listening to other people's sex noises!
So I guess more for fun, I ask you, what would you do?

[Reaa]

"Don't you have somewhere else to go" would be my response.

[Redglitter]

I'd decide it was time my hedge had a watering and turn the hose on it

[Deshasafraisy]

Water pistol

[fruitbrewhaha]

I have sex in my bush

[ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo]

I'm so tempted to cough loudly or say something

I can’t imagine why you haven’t!! just tell them to fuck off.

[rosesandflowers1]

Put up a polite notice

If that doesn't stop them, they're clearly shameless so a loud "do you mind" or a hose is more appropriate.

[ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo]

I need to see a photo of This hedge to understand why they’re choosing it to shag in.

[MeMyselfand]

start doing a David Attenborough commentary whenever they are at it

[5foot5]

Is your do trained to "fetch"?

Could you maybe lob a ball or a stick or something in to the hedge and get your dog to go in after it then see what fun ensues?

[Tomorrowillbeachicken]

Hose out of window

[5foot5]

"dog" not "do"

[Cornettoninja]

sniggers

Perfect weather to encourage pests in that particular area or encourage your dog to go to the toilet there...

[Tomorrowillbeachicken]

fruitbrew perhaps you need a trim

[Timeisslippingaway]

Why wouldn't you say anything!

[Tarrarra]

Can you pop some manure under it, to make it a less appealing spot? Failing that just a few of your dog poos?? 😃

[HandPickedEklderflower]

Is it 2 of your neighbours in a clandestine relationship? pretending to
walk their dogs?

My DF kept meeting 2 of our neighbours a couple of minutes apart up in the hills dog walking. Village scandal of the century when their affair was exposed-only one not surprised- my father.

[eurgh]

@MeMyselfand oh that would be so good I'll have to work on my voice!
I don't know why I haven't said something really. I don't know why but I think I feel rude disturbing their coitus
Hedge photo coming up

[fruitbrewhaha]

What time are they doing it? it's still so light at the moment, it's not completely dark until gone 11pm.

Shine a big torch at them?

[Purplehammer]

Ask if they fancy a threesome.

[eurgh]

The hedge!

[sexnotgender]

Definitely hose the cheeky fuckers.

[Dobbythesockelf]

People regularly have sex in your hedge? Do you live close to a dogging site or something? A one off I could understand but regularly it seems odd.
But my dh works in a car garage and has lost count of the amount of times people have had sex on the car bonnets on a weekend night but he does work next to a nightclub. CCTV doesn't deter drunks either.
I would give them a round of applause when they finish. Might embarrass them or if it is a dogging site they might think you want to join in.....

[femidom12]

That's disgusting CF's should respect your privet(cy)

[Windmyonlyfriend]

Creep up close to the hedge on your side and start making sex noises back at them. If they stop, you stop. If they start again, so do you.

I’ve done that to noisy neighbours before. Puts them right off their stride.