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People keep having sex in my hedge...

(908 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

eurgh Mon 25-Jun-18 17:00:14

I guess it's more of a WWYD as I know I'm NBU but every few nights people (I assume the same two) keep having sex in the hedge which divides my back garden from the road behind. It's pretty brazen because there's no real cover to hide under!
Every few nights I'll be out sitting with my new rescue dog and letting her potter about and I'll hear my hedge making groany sex noises. I'm so tempted to cough loudly or say something but for some reason I just keep quiet and feel weird listening to other people's sex noises!
So I guess more for fun, I ask you, what would you do?

PomBearWithoutHerOFRS Fri 29-Jun-18 00:18:06

They're probably frightened they'd meet Theresa May running through it if they went to the wheat field!
( Or the Wurzels <showing my age there!>)

Annonymiss123 Fri 29-Jun-18 00:18:46

And obvs I meant eyes not eye - they are not pirates. Although that would add a new dimension

My giggling is shaking the bed so much, I'm afraid of waking DH. grin

Great thread!

pinkgirl1234 Fri 29-Jun-18 00:19:23

@gingergenius 😂😂

Ancientmummyofwooooos Fri 29-Jun-18 00:25:55

There once was a poster named eurgh,
Who was fed up of hedgerow pervs.
They sex-ed incognito,
By twighlight in beech though!
Poor Notdog's a bundle of nerves!

THEsonofaBITCH Fri 29-Jun-18 07:29:20

I wonder if they even know there's a secluded wheat field nearby
Ohhh, I can see the next news story now: Farmer finds the strangest crop circles in his wheat fields, UFO hunters stake out the site"

EmMcK Fri 29-Jun-18 09:02:50

Utterly, totally shameless placemarking

Ooogetyooo Fri 29-Jun-18 09:34:57

Indeed this is a classic thread, have just wasted half hour catching up reading this in car grin

eurgh Fri 29-Jun-18 09:37:51

It doesn't look as though it will be immortalised in classics though. That would have been fun and maybe in years to come Tasha would appear here saying her fella who she left her DH for won't move out of his mum's and makes her have sex in hedges....then she'd see the thread and reminisce on the good 'ol days. Ho hum,

Superheroessidekick Fri 29-Jun-18 09:46:23

Can we start a petition to get the thread in classics, I feel the future generation of MN will miss out on brilliant hedge fuckery

YarnObsessor Fri 29-Jun-18 10:21:10

Aww, I lost my virginity in a wheat field, all nostalgic now I shall have to take dh for a walk round some fields and see what comes up.

MiddleClassProblem Fri 29-Jun-18 10:22:10

YarnObsessor Theresa?

BunchOfBobs Fri 29-Jun-18 10:57:41

Delurking to say eek look!
This thread is amazing!!!

DawnMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 29-Jun-18 11:02:10

Hi @eurgh,

Just hopping on to say we've had about a million and nine requests for your thread to be moved over to our Classics hall of fame.

Would you mind if we shuffled it over? Oh, g'wan! smile

nervousnails Fri 29-Jun-18 11:22:49


Ooogetyooo Fri 29-Jun-18 11:35:31

Bravo 👏

leighb23 Fri 29-Jun-18 12:03:55



eurgh Fri 29-Jun-18 12:19:10

Oh I'm sure I can allow it grin
Let's toast to Gaz and Tasha wine

GigglingWanky Fri 29-Jun-18 12:35:50

To Gaz and Tasha!
May their giggling be forever wanky.winegrin

leighb23 Fri 29-Jun-18 13:01:56


DawnMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 29-Jun-18 13:32:18


Oh I'm sure I can allow it grin
Let's toast to Gaz and Tasha wine

Cheers! wine wine

And welcome to Mumsnet Classics. smile

eurgh Fri 29-Jun-18 13:38:15

<looks around, settles down with a drink> yes I think I could get used to this grin

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius Fri 29-Jun-18 13:41:54

@eurgh - you are an absolute legend!

Thisnamechanger Fri 29-Jun-18 13:55:47

This might be my favourite MN thread of all time OP. wine

BunchOfBobs Fri 29-Jun-18 13:56:00


nervousnails Fri 29-Jun-18 14:00:21

wine To Gaz and Tasha!

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