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Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?

(598 Posts)
Swimminguphill Thu 07-Dec-17 15:16:11

I bought this beautiful jacket online. In my mind I'd look like Blondie in the 80s, very rock and roll and all round awesome. In reality I look like a giant angry teddy bear/yeti. I have broad shoulders and a bust although slim in general, and it doesn't do me any favours. I wanted it for ages and it's now sold out, and so the joy of getting it in my size just in time is sadly wasted. It is a beautiful jacket - just not on me! Anybody else want to come and mourn reality vs fantasy with me?

Mammyloveswine Sun 27-Jan-19 18:26:53

Have loved this thread!

I had a babysitter in the 90s who had long curly hair, she told me it was a perm. I was now desperate for a perm and begged my mum. She finally gave in. I was most horrified that my chin length bob complete with fringe had not somehow miraculously grown into long curls... I looked like the mushroom thing from super Mario. Awful!

Also, at my son's birthday party one year after losing a ton of weight on slimming world I wore leather look leggings with a tucked in sheer leapord print blouse and thigh high suede tassel boots. I thought I'd look effortlessly chic and slim. My sister asked me why I was dressed like a 70s male porn star....

Tortycat Sun 27-Jan-19 21:04:37

Colonel Gadaffi - pricelessgrin

mabelchiltern Mon 28-Jan-19 09:20:41

Toss Daily- you win!

DontCallMeCharlotte Mon 28-Jan-19 11:04:14

I've had hundreds of haircuts. I'd say 99% of them have been bobs which I've been more than happy with. On Friday, the hairdresser was obviously channelling this thread as I have indeed joined the Lego Legion sad

LadyofMisrule Tue 29-Jan-19 09:34:56

“TheWindy Miller Years.”

I’m actually crying at this one.

poundoflard Tue 29-Jan-19 10:59:06

In the 90's I bought a trendy black bowler hat, to match a long black woollen coat.
I thought elegant city woman, in reality : undertaker.

Worse bit was I walked past the undertakers at the end of the street on my way to and from work, so it looked like I was coming out from them after a night shift.
Took me ages to realise my mistake too.

fourthusernamebutwhoscounting Tue 29-Jan-19 15:54:23

Bump! Thanks to pp who posted a link to the thread from another thread. I have been crying with laughter, and minutes before school run remembered I'd put mascara on this morning. Desperate scrubbing of face...

Evennow Tue 05-Feb-19 08:37:39

Just read this thread. Holigoli wins with her ‘grain silo’ look.

Anything green makes me look as though sired by Wheelie Bin out of Overgrown Evergreen

ResistanceIsNecessary Thu 07-Feb-19 08:27:39

This thread is the one that keeps on giving. Love it when someone resurrects it!

A soft bralette top, which I am assured will suit 'larger' ladies.
Expectation: Comfortable and chic, with a hint of lace peeking out of the v neck of my top.
Reality: The puny lace and elastic was no match for the size and weight of my norks. Every time I moved it looked like two ferrets were having a fight in the front of my shirt.

ReanimatedSGB Tue 15-Oct-19 08:24:28

I know it's a zombie thread but thought you might like to know that I got a lovely black vinyl raincoat off a vintage stall. I thought I looked like some sort of cool spy. DS' dad looked at it and went 'Wicked Uncle Ernie!'

Sizeofalentil Sat 26-Oct-19 20:21:51

I bought a cap sleeved black jumpsuit, hoping to look like an effortlessly chic off duty danish designer.

First time I wore it, dh asked what time I was off to fight the karate kid

DemiGorgon Mon 28-Oct-19 00:39:12

Age 18, back in the 80s I opted for an ultra trendy perm, at great expense. Imaging one of Charlie's Angels.

when I came out, all I needed was a plastic rain hood, and I was set for a night at the bingo with all the other 70year olds.

coffeeagogo Wed 06-Nov-19 07:56:20

I bought myself a cape thinking I would look stylish and chic on my commute (but not too hot as the tube is god awful) a la Audrey Hepburn. My 8 year old squinted at me and said admiringly ohh mummy you look lovely, just like Mary Poppins

tomboytown Wed 20-Nov-19 17:43:33

I wore a Halloween outfit for the first time ever this year. I’d lost a stone and was feeling ok.
I got told I looked like Grotbags, remember her?!

Zenith123 Wed 20-Nov-19 18:33:20

I bought my first ever pair of Doc martens....*@64*. I thought I'd give the boots/long floaty skirt 'aging rock chick' a go. OMG..... (1) they absolutely kill me, and (2) I look like a demented bag lady.

Scarletoharaseyebrows Wed 20-Nov-19 18:50:26

Elegant casual lounge wear.

Reality- the girl playing Karen Matthews in that Sheridan Smith drama

rosie39forever Wed 20-Nov-19 19:49:44

Bought an on trend yellow flowery, floaty midi dress in the summer, teamed with over sized pink tinted sunglasses imagining myself glamorous boho chic..... reality Sue Pollard!

FlatheadScrewdriver Wed 20-Nov-19 22:15:07

The 90s: mustard yellow trousers with red shoes. Looked like I should have been presenting Chockablock.

OhMyDarling Wed 20-Nov-19 23:23:09

Guys I’m actually crying with laughter and I’ve only read to page 3.... woke up dd who asked very worriedly if I was ok 🤣

Also, I need to add everything I have ever tried on ever- bought anywhere, any style or pattern.
It’s a mystery. My best friend is a similar shape, size, weight, hair colour yet trying on the same item of clothing always leaves her looking quite normal while I look like I need a psychiatric assessment.
I am not a conventional shape. She tries hard to lie but ultimately it’s laugh or cry and she knows I see through her lies... so laugh it is. Short, fat hourglass, massive bazoongas, no neck.
At least my girls got their dads height and are leggy and gorgeous!

WorryBadger Thu 21-Nov-19 15:19:46

IN the 90s I had an electric blue PVC trouser suit.

Expectation: clubber extraordinaire
Reality: Giant frozen-themed Christmas bauble

WorryBadger Thu 21-Nov-19 15:22:16

I have also come to the sad conclusion that I Must Not Wear Woolly Hats. I imagine I will look like Claudia Schiffer in Love Actually, or some sort of Alpine, cheeks-aglow, winsome beauty. But multiple failures have proved that I just look like I have got away from my carer and am on the hunt for crayons to eat.

simiisme Sat 23-Nov-19 21:17:38

poppym12 Properly Lol'd at that!

JoyTurner Sun 01-Dec-19 22:53:52

This thread grin fat too many for me to pick:

Nice, green harem trousers
Expectation- laid back beach chic
Reality- Aladdin

Over the knee boots
Expectation- sexy yet chic
Reality- streetwalker

Pixie crop
Expectation- Frankie from the saturdays
Reality- Justin Bieber

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