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How to be a lovely parent to teenager?

(184 Posts)

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Mrsfloss Mon 13-Nov-17 18:00:02

When dd was younger. I got loads of advice on making her childhood special and magical.

Any tips on doing the same with teen to get her off screens and which won’t result in death stare!

Different stage of parenting and I can’t help pine for the days of carpet picnics, reading storys and pjs on at 6pm!

ownedbySWD Mon 13-Nov-17 18:04:10

Late night chats in the kitchen with junk food are a favourite. smile Listening to dd14 talk all about the funny memes she's been reading, talking about recent movies or TV shows we've watched.

LindyHemming Mon 13-Nov-17 18:04:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Enko Mon 13-Nov-17 18:06:01

I linger in the kitchen on their kitchen day
Often take one out for breakfast just the 2of us or a coffee shop in the afternoon.

Drivong them somewhere helps too

SureIusedtobetaller Mon 13-Nov-17 18:07:34

Be the parent who lets them all sleep over! We used to have a spare mattress just for this.
And drive them around- this is when you can chat with them without pressure and I love hearing the conversations. Plus you get to know their friends.

LindyHemming Mon 13-Nov-17 18:09:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HeatherWeather Mon 13-Nov-17 18:11:09

Think my 11 year old sounds like this already! hmm

HeatherWeather Mon 13-Nov-17 18:12:33

Euph, I’ve recently discovered the delights of an egg McMuffin on a Sunday morning grin First time I missed breakfast by 5 minutes though! Never organised.

VioletCharlotte Mon 13-Nov-17 18:19:13

Bacon sandwich in bed on a Sunday morning
Run them a hot bath when they get in from football, cold and wet
Bond over TV shows/ music/ comedians
Laugh at the stupid stuff they find funny
Let their mates stay over
Treat them to a shopping trip

Katedotness1963 Mon 13-Nov-17 18:24:39

Singing loudly in the car together.

Board game nights, and invite their friends over. Pizza and nibbles!

Get together for hot chocolate with "the works" (in our house that's marshmallows, squirty cream and grated chocolate). A rainy, Sunday is perfect!

Lunch in the city. Just did that with our 16 and 18 year old on Friday. Wander round the town, leisurely meal, another wander. Stop for a beer.

Sleepovers. For a few years there we had sleepovers every other weekend.

Have an interest in their interests. I surprised my eldest by knowing something about Joy Division, he didn't even know I'd heard of them! You should have seen his face. Point for mum!

SavageBeauty73 Mon 13-Nov-17 18:25:05

UberEATS delivers McDonalds to my 15 and 12 year olds! I watch programmes with them even though I have no interest in them. We are loving Life in Pieces on Amazon prime.

A wise friend of mine with much older teenagers said don't sweat the small stuff. I try to pick my battles.

Katedotness1963 Mon 13-Nov-17 18:27:38

Now that they're at the going out age, we put a hot water bottle in their beds for coming home time and leave sandwiches ready so they can grab a quick bite when they get in.

"How's your day, I love you" text. Don't always get a reply, but it's read.

IAmBreakmasterCylinder Mon 13-Nov-17 18:32:46

My DD is 19 now but one of her favourite things still is a late night trip to the supermarket. Not for a massive shop but milk/ bread etc.

We mosey round, chat, giggle and be generally silly. We always buy chocolate which we eat in the car on the way home and don't tell DH.

It sounds mad writing it down but its a lovely memory and I will be sad when she's not at home to come with me.

prampushingdownthehighst Mon 13-Nov-17 18:34:45

If you are on Facebook never ever comment on their photos, status etc.

lljkk Mon 13-Nov-17 18:51:21

Hmmm... they do like it when you spend lots of money on them. Especially for restaurant food.

Listen, take an interest, even if it's an inconvenient moment.

Try to respect their decisions, even if they are ones you don't like.

KindergartenKop Mon 13-Nov-17 19:13:29

This is a lovely thread smile

Mrsfloss Mon 13-Nov-17 19:16:45

These are amazing!

Kinraddie Mon 13-Nov-17 19:17:19

Haha, the Facebook one is very true! Allow them their privacy. Buy them little treats when you can. Show an interest in their friends, try and be positive, although you’re inwardly screaming “what are you wearing?!!”. We have a family what’s app group that’s good for little family jokes, memes, photos etc.

Rainatnight Mon 13-Nov-17 19:19:14

It is a lovely thread. My DD is only 17 months (and I'll be ancient by the time she's a teenager hmm) but I'm filing all this away.

There are always lots of threads about disciplining teenagers and dealing with the problems. I guess that if you do lots of lovely stuff then you have some goodwill 'in the tank' for the tough times?

poisonedbypen Mon 13-Nov-17 19:21:39

Yes we have a family WhatsApp group. It's hard. I feign an interest in my 16 year old's you tube stuff, on line games & memes so that we have something to talk about. I love it when he forgets that he is a grumpy teenager & I can see the lovely little boy again. My older two have come out the other side & are easy & fun again.

MrsJayy Mon 13-Nov-17 19:25:20

Films going out for lunch or dinner find a programme/hobby to bond over don't push them for their time they can get huffy. My eldest is nearly 25 and we get on well i did all of the above I tried to not be their pal though I am not keen on that

shushpenfold Mon 13-Nov-17 19:32:17

Don’t underestimate how much your teen will enjoy just talking without pressure....inane chat. My dd1 will chilland chat away when lying on my bed together, in the car together etc. 1:1 time. I was lucky and realised that I had to chat with them as I would with adult girlfriends, rather than censor all I said, as I would with kids. We rarely butt heads, but it’s because I’m not on their backs about every little thing but do have rules which I don’t bend on (respectful language, unless joking😁) My youngest is just starting to now hit teens and I’ll have to do the same with her.

1:1 is the key, even if it’s just hanging with them in silence.

Blobby10 Mon 13-Nov-17 19:36:30

Mine are 21, 19 and 17

Three tips from me: 1) Never try and be their best friend 2) never stop hugging them especially the boys and even when they are pushing you away and blocking you out when they are upset. Even if its putting your arm round them AND the duvet when they are under their duvet and hiding their emotions away. 3) And never forget the most valuable saying ever: "I will always love you but right now I dont like you very much because ......................" then explain how what they are doing is upsetting you.

Snools33 Mon 13-Nov-17 19:38:20

Oh I so needed this thread tonight! My daughter is 12 and pushing me away while I’m desperate to hang on! sad

notanotherlasagne Mon 13-Nov-17 19:44:16

Ahh you lovely lot! I am so enjoying having a teen and another on the way... spending time listening & telling them you love them no matter what goes a long long way.

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