Page 10 | Household objects that are pricks

Love the asthmatic donkey!

These are all so funny! How do we nominate for classics?

My printer is also joining the Contrary Bastards Club for its constant insistence that it is Out of Paper. What's all that flat white stuff in your tray then, you twat? Then you have to gently ease it in sheet by sheet like you're doing keyhole surgery.

Add to that the sodding Sellotape, which, rather than maintaining the width it was manufactured at, slices itself into elegant thin strips which are no bloody good for sticking things together.

And my necklaces, laid out flat in the jewellery box, which as soon as the lid is closed tie themselves into inseparable knots.

gonna. I have reported and requested a move to classics

My friggin straighteners and hair dryer always get their wires tangled up.

My dishwasher doesn’t wash all the damn dishes.

And my printer doesn’t print !

How dare the TV ask if I’m still there and telling me it’s going to switch itself off.

It’s a fucking liberty. I paid for the fucker. I got the fucker working. And if I want it on all damn day and all damn night then that’s my prerogative. It has one job to do.

Imagine if the oven tried that or the fridge? We’d go apeshit! So why do we tolerate this kind of arrogance from a TV???

Can I also please add my search engine.

Oh I typed in www.goggle.com by accident. And you just have NO IDEA what I could mean. Drawn a great big fucking blank at at that did you? Not the tiniest clue?
Wanker.

The cords to charge my tablet and phone. I plug them into a multi plug that has 6 outlets on it. Randomly the 6 outlets take turns fooling me. This is my 4th multi plug. They hate me. I plug in the phone at night and it beeps-all is good. Morning comes and phone is charged to 6%. I move the plug the next night and it charges. But not the next night. So if the tablet charged the night before I switch the cords. Still won't charge. Order more cords from Amazon-not the cheap cords but Apple approved. Amazon quit asking me to rate the cords because I order so many. They think I'm feeble and don't know how to plug them in. They plot trouble when I lock the front door. I hate them.

Yes, 'effort saving' devices! You mean one of those idiotic gadgets, your husband punches for you as a 'present'? Then demonstrate how to 'use it', leaving more mess and unplugged devices behind as one can clear up in a day? It is especially delightful at 7 pm after work.
Yes, I think many of us are familiar with those 'life savers' ))///

My Sky remote control is a bastard! Fast forward and Rewind work perfectly well whatever angle you point the remote at, but apparently you have to be a contortionist to be in the right position to make Play work! It’s easier to sit through all the chat of Strictly than try to whizz through and just watch the dances cos it will take the whole bloody dance for me to get the bastard Play button to work again, Aargh!

My TomTom is a dick! decides it won't turn itself on when you really need it and it's always needing charging! then once you have reached your destination it turns itself on and tells you to do a uturn when possible! Bastard

I give you... needles, both for hand sewing and machine. They are quite literally pricks. They prick you in the finger, they hide themselves in the carpet and stab you in the foot, they break mid-seam and tear holes in the fabric - in fact the only thing they don't prick is the sodding material they're meant to be sewing together.

Pricks. Or maybe not.

👏👏👏 Well done TossDaily!

Phone chargers. There always seems to be one not working, but which one changes by the day so you never know if your phone is going to fucking charge or not.

My work saving machines have turned me into slave! My cooker bleeps (2 different bleeps that have to be switched off) when it’s finished cooking, the microwave bleeps 5 times - 5 times, the drier bleeps, the washer bleeps, the dishwasher bleeps AND sulks until it’s demands for conditioner or “clean the filters slave” are met. For f’s sake even the fridge bleeps if I don’t shut the door fast enough.
It’s like tantrum time at kindergarten!

I just thought of one, not sure it's been mentioned. The little wheels on bed that I keep stubbing my toes into. Makes me want to cry like a baby every time.

That arsehole Henry. Every time I try to hoover that absolute dick falls over himself and gets his tube tangled.

My car fob. Absolute cock. Loves shutting my 18 month year old in the car.

1needpampering my morphy Richards soup maker beeps 16 times when it's done. 16!!! Now I sort of understand how one needs alerted to the fact there's a huge vat of boiling soup in a jug, especially as the lid is a loose fitting one. But the damn thing cranks and grinds and whizzes its way through 21 minutes of souping. It's ludicrous.

My other hate is the smart meter. Hey, here's this device which uses electricity which will help to save electricity. Yeah. Not falling for that one. I spent the first few days watching it constantly tick up and up, and eventually switched it off.

My necklaces. They sometimes get tangled up and I have to waste a good half hour untangling them. Aghhhh

I’m immune to the bells and calls of the machines - I’ll get to them in a minute or an hour or so. Drives DH insane.....

The fridge freezer moos intermittently. I’m interpretating this as contentment.

If there’s a meal in preparation, the entire family rally to remind me to attack the smoke alarm before it starts it’s wretched screeching

Glittermud. That reminds me.

Back in the mid 90s, we had an answer phone, up to the minute tech, purchased by DH.

However, following some power surge or electrical storm (deep in Tooting) it wouldn't/couldn’t record messages from females. Cosmic or comical #youcouldn’tmakeitup

We punished Henry the arsehole Hoover by sending him off to work with my husband where he died a horrible death after a couple of months hoovering up building rubble. Served the bastard right