I was recently having a meal in a hotel in France with Dh. After the main course, the lovely waiter ( he looked like Manuel from Fawlty towers) came over with the menu and said something in French about dessert. I speak some French but didn't catch the whole sentence so I nodded and went to take the menu. He pulled the menu away, smiled and said something else which I didn't catch. We assumed that he thought we didn't want dessert and decided to leave it as the restaurant was extremely busy. Suddenly Manuel triumphantly appeared with two desserts and handed a creme brûlée to Dh and a chocolate tart to me. Now obviously we should have got his attention and explained we hadn't ordered dessert but my embarrassment at having to try to explain in French and to be honest the fact that the desserts looked lovely led to Dh suggesting we just eat them. As we started to eat Dh noticed that the group of waiters were having a serious discussion and looking over worriedly at us. Manuel was beginning to sweat and it was obvious that we had someone else's dessert. So the whole time we continued to eat the desserts ( they were lovely) the entire restaurant staff were heatedly gesticulating and glaring while Manuel got more and more sheepish. After a while identical desserts were brought out to a table close by and eventually Manuel shuffled over to our table and asked Dh to sign for the desserts, avoiding any eye contact or mention of the mistake, which he obviously did much to Manuel's relief. I can't help thinking that Manuel must think we were slightly strange to accept 2 rogue desserts and eat them without saying anything!
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Awkward moments caused entirely due to that British politeness embarrassment thing
Piglet208 · 16/08/2017 10:43
That's a fab story 
"rogue desserts".
I once purposefully missed my train because a colleague was going the same way and I couldn't bear an hour of making polite chit-chat so I stood around Liverpool st station like a lemon waiting for the next train.
DH & I went on holiday to Madeira some years ago. We sat at a little cafe for a drink and a snack, to find that there was no English translation of the menu. Instead of asking the lovely waiter if they had an English menu, or could translate for us, we decided to use our limited holiday Portuguese so as not to be 'that English couple' who expects everyone to speak English. We ordered a couple of dishes, from our recognition of a couple of words on the menu. The slightly surprised look from the waiter was a clue that we had got something wrong...
Waiter came back with the tea and coffee that we had at least managed to order without incident, accompanied with a plate of sliced tomatoes and a plate of cheese! Not quite what we thought we were getting, tbh.
My mum used to take us to visit our Grandparents on a Saturday, a 4 mile journey we had to make by bus. She'd be practically screaming at us girls to get a move on so we didn't miss the bus. Every single time we would bump into someone she knew, and rather than say "we've got a bus to catch" she would have her ear chewed off for 20 minutes, politely smiling and nodding until they'd finished papping on.
Never understood it.
you should have a look at Very British Problems on FB. All about these kind of awkwardnesses.
LoneStarRising Great story Are we the first ones to hear it or have you confessed to anyone in RL?!
How about walking all the way around the supermarket in a pointless and shifty manner to avoid bumping into the acquaintance that you already bumped into once and exchanged small talk with, and don't want to bump into them a second time...
When dh and I were in mallorca a few years ago we'd had a meal and dh wanted to order a espresso. Instead of just asking for 'an espresso' he asked for 'a large Italian style coffee' in a ridiculous cod-italian accent (this was looked remember) complete with strange arm gesticulations - all for reasons known only to him. The waiter said 'an espresso then?'. Cringe. I have never let dh forget it and he usually does something awkward and British every time we go abroad. We all look forward to it now
I was on a phone call to a charity where a charming and very young volunteer was falling over herself to tell me I was amazing for donating (and I got the feeling I was her first successful call) I was to embarrassed to say 'OK, enough I have to go now' that I kept my phone on all the way to my desk... And got sacked 
It was for an organisation that banged on about using work hours for charity and community work too... Hmmph
Timefortea I have a wee-related one as well.
When we were having our new windows fitted, I needed a wee but was too awkward to ask the fitters to step out of the bathroom for two minutes. So instead I shut myself away in our under-the-stairs cupboard, which is off our dining room, and squatted over the washing up bowl.
It was pitch black and my knees were trembling. I got 70% of the piss in the bowl but the other 30% all over DH's work shoes.
Just as I was finishing off, one of the fitters came downstairs to ask DH a question and they stood chatting in the dining room for about ten minutes while I stood completely still, trousers around my ankles in the pitch black cupboard trying to not stand in my own piss.
Oh wow. The wee ones are cringingly hilarious! Especially the cupboard one.
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Sugarpiehoneyeye now that makes my arse turn inside out cringing
I once worked on a team where everyone but me was from abroad. It was a job at a university over summer so all the others were international students who hadn't gone home for summer.
A new black woman started and I assumed she was also an international student.
In a bid to engage her in conversation I asked her what she was studying and whether she would stay "here" after her degree or go home. She was British, from London.
Rather than apologise profusely and explain my mistake, I said "Oh yeah, I know, I just meant will you stay around the North when you finish your degree?"
Luckily, because she was also British, so presumably also crippled by awkwardness, she didn't call me out on it
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