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Sorry, but...warnings to the youngsters among us

(403 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

MumBod Sat 03-Jun-17 07:28:58

Sorry, but...white wiry eyebrows do happen to women.

...you may need to trim your nasal hair too.

...and there will come a time when you'd rather grate your nipples than enter a nightclub, hard as that may be to believe right now.

Any others?

MumBod Sat 03-Jun-17 07:31:00

Sorry, but...

...if you suspect he's/she's up to something, they probably are.

...your child will eat sugar and watch telly at some point.

GoodyGoodyGumdrops Sat 03-Jun-17 07:35:06

If you time having children right, you will be sprouting chin bristles at the same time and rate as your ds, only your attitudes and responses will be diametrically opposite.

AddToBasket Sat 03-Jun-17 07:35:51

Don't be rude about people having ugly feet. You will get them.

MumBod Sat 03-Jun-17 07:36:45

Good one.

Sorry, but...

...there will come a time when you have spots and wrinkles at the same time. They're not mutually exclusive.

MumBod Sat 03-Jun-17 07:38:33

Sorry, but...

...you know that current state of affairs, where you can drink four pints of stout a night, live on carbs, do no exercise and remain a fresh-faced size 8?

Not gonna last.

CaoNiMartacus Sat 03-Jun-17 07:42:00

... one day, the clothing of your childhood will be considered "retro".

228agreenend Sat 03-Jun-17 07:43:29

Sorry, but...

You will find yourself looking outside and seeing the sunny weather, and thinking 'Good, it's a good drying day'

beepbeepimasheep Sat 03-Jun-17 07:44:27

You will be hoping that your period doesn't turn up at the same time as your adult daughter is hoping that hers does.

maddiemookins16mum Sat 03-Jun-17 07:48:09

Your toes will get hairy.
You'll get night sweats
You'll become obsessed with getting the washing out (just pegged mine)
The eye shadow worn at 25 looks wrong at 52 as your eyelids are crinkly.
You might need varifocals
People will offer you a seat on a bus if you're lucky.

user1491572121 Sat 03-Jun-17 07:48:18

You WILL reach a point where you're happy not to give a shit what anyone else thinks.

I love that. I'm 44 and I don't care if anyone else likes my coat..or my hair or whatever.

AtticusCactus Sat 03-Jun-17 07:49:07

If you do venture out once in a blue moon, you will appreciate pubs where you can have "a nice sit down".
None of that standing around, looking cool nonsense for you.

IndianaMoleWoman Sat 03-Jun-17 07:50:10

You'll look back on pictures of yourself from 20 years ago, when you considered yourself "fat", and wish you were that "fat" now.

angryladyboobs Sat 03-Jun-17 07:52:00

Oh shit.

I'm 26 and most of this applies to me already.

#oldbeforemytime

ChardonnaysPrettySister Sat 03-Jun-17 07:53:11

You will think 'actually, Mother was right.'

Glowerglass Sat 03-Jun-17 07:53:28

Grey hair has a different texture. Even when it is dyed, it looks like grey hair.

AnotheBloodyChinHair Sat 03-Jun-17 07:54:29

You will see an old haggard lady walking towards you only to realise it's your own reflection...

BitchyInnerMonologue Sat 03-Jun-17 07:57:07

You will actively avoid mirrors so you can retain the image of you that you have in your head; the one where you were skinny, not as ugly as now, had thick hair on your head and not on your chin, and hormonal spots were yet to begin... I'm not having a good morning

IHeartDodo Sat 03-Jun-17 08:00:25

angryladyboobs also 26 and I was thinking the same thing!

Ceto Sat 03-Jun-17 08:02:32

You can swear as many almighty oaths as you like that toy weapons will never enter your house, your children will still make them out of knitting needs, coat hangers and whatever comes to hand.

KERALA1 Sat 03-Jun-17 08:03:00

Sorry but ...you may well just "thicken" round the middle even if it's not fat. Found a photo of me aged 23 in a crop top recently ...those days are gone. It's not even having kids as happening to childfree friends too.

And if by some miracle you do retain your girlish slimness it tips into scrawny

Newtssuitcase Sat 03-Jun-17 08:03:36

On a girls night out you will avoid loud places so that you can have a good chat.

BeyondThePage Sat 03-Jun-17 08:05:00

just as you approach "old enough" for something or other the goalposts will be moved... pension etc.

just as you approach menopause your teenage daughters will approach that lustrous full flush of fertility

your feet will hurt, not for any reason, they will just hurt.

you know that "oomffffff" sound "old" people make when they sit down or get up, you don't actually know you are doing it til you hear yourself.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow Sat 03-Jun-17 08:11:25

And when you do go on this mythical night out, by 10.30 you are ready for your bed.
When you look at the clothes in top shop and think. "I had that 30 years ago."

user1483972886 Sat 03-Jun-17 08:15:42

I'm 43 and already avoiding mirrors is this normal?

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