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My husband has just caught me doing something terrible and embarrassing...

(423 Posts)

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PrettyRicky Thu 19-Jan-17 10:24:46

My DH came home unexpectedly and I was in the kitchen doing something I probably shouldn't have been doing but which I do every time I'm home alone.

I was having an imaginary interview on Radio 4 Woman's Hour about my new, hugely critically acclaimed novel.

DH walked in just as I was saying to Jane Garvey "That's an interesting question, Jane. The book's really a reflection on womanhood at times of crisis".

He was just stood there at the kitchen door and said "What is? Who's Jane?" and then looked around the corner to our dining table, presumably expecting to find someone called Jane who'd popped around for a brew.

tricornel Thu 19-Jan-17 10:37:17

I have imaginary arguments in the shower blush and when I'm cleaning I pretend I'm being investigated by someone (I don't know who! I never tell myself confused) and I have to meet some sort of standard. This, I realise, sounds insane blush

PrettyRicky Thu 19-Jan-17 10:38:22

Spudlet That's awesome!

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve Thu 19-Jan-17 10:39:15

I'm always doing things like that but not OUT LOUD shock grin

GiraffesAndButterflies Thu 19-Jan-17 10:40:00

gringrin

One day I'll forget someone else is home and do something exactly like this! I've never written a novel though. I've received a lot of dance and cookery awards. I've also been an assistant on How Clean Is Your House, when the kitchen has got particularly dire

PrettyRicky Thu 19-Jan-17 10:40:34

tricornel Sometimes when I'm cleaning I pretend I own a super-luxury B&B somewhere really exotic and I have Beyonce and Jay Z and their entourage coming for a week so I need to make sure everything is just-so. I'm not even a Beyonce and Jay Z fan confused

Maudlinmaud Thu 19-Jan-17 10:40:42

Yeah for all the people who talk to themselves.
If you don't you should, it's cathartic.

GiraffesAndButterflies Thu 19-Jan-17 10:41:09

I have imaginary arguments in the shower

I do that! I've been really quite pissed off on occasion grin

RogueStar01 Thu 19-Jan-17 10:41:32

i sometimes have these flights of fancy too - mine involve me winning the lottery and then becoming a massive force for good, being forced to attend many charity banquets whilst looking v glam. Being interviewed on 'In Our Time' to cogitate about the enlightenment or some such would be my R4 related dream. In reality, I'd like to be able to hear the radio over the toddler tantrums!

Sweepingchange Thu 19-Jan-17 10:41:38

grin Oh I give imaginary addresses at state funerals whilst making pastry ... so glad to know I'm not alone ...

FormerlyFrikadela01 Thu 19-Jan-17 10:42:56

I love that other people do shit like this.

I bake my own bread and I'm usually explaining my process to Mary and Paul. DP has heard me and thinks I'm crackers.

Bluntness100 Thu 19-Jan-17 10:43:11

Lol , I thought uou were going to say uou were masturbating on top of the washing machine or something. It could have been worse. 😂

CigarsofthePharoahs Thu 19-Jan-17 10:43:23

I pretend I'm on a documentary being interviewed about something that has recently happened in my life. I find it helps my anxiety by processing it through.
I realise it makes me look nuttier than squirrel poo though.

BinkyBuntyFintyCunty Thu 19-Jan-17 10:43:25

LTB

user1484578224 Thu 19-Jan-17 10:43:53

just get him to do the helicopter thing and your're quits

7SunshineSeven7 Thu 19-Jan-17 10:44:19

My cooking show has often been interrupted in the kitchen. Smiling to a fake camera and saying things like ''See how it smooths over the sponges so easily with this method?'' blush

GiraffesAndButterflies Thu 19-Jan-17 10:44:53

In your interview OP, were you using your normal voice or a pretentious RP talking-to-radio-4 voice? I think I know the answer but tell us anyway grin

GetAHaircutCarl Thu 19-Jan-17 10:45:31

I'm a writer and act out huge swathes of my story lines.

The family are just used to me nowgrin. At least it pays the bills gringrin.

heppi Thu 19-Jan-17 10:45:33

I'm envious of all your imaginations grin

I sometimes have imaginary debates with people but they usually win sadgrin

Bumpsadaisie Thu 19-Jan-17 10:46:31

I do this all the time - imagine a fantasy scenario then talk about it. I have an imaginary friend who I have advised on :

- which cambridge college her child should apply to
- the range of secondary schools around us and their relative merits
- how age should approach her child's music lessons and what would be a good instrument to start on

I also give academic lectures to an imaginary audience about themes in Victorian history

And I conduct an imaginary orchestra (headphones on) and am choir director of an imaginary choir to whom I pass on various points of interpretation.

I'm a total nutcase, thank god she knows and understands smile

HamIn Thu 19-Jan-17 10:46:53

grin This has made my day!

Bumpsadaisie Thu 19-Jan-17 10:47:22

DH not "she"...

heppi Thu 19-Jan-17 10:47:32

If I have a dilemma I often imagine posting on MN and imagine the responses. Sometimes I realise IABU so don't actually start the thread.

Bushymuffmum Thu 19-Jan-17 10:48:16

I talk to myself all the time and don't even realise I'm doing it until one of the kids says "who are you talking to mum?" - apparently I don't speak out loud but my mouth moves! It's usually when I'm agitated or annoyed and I think in my head I'm trying to rationalise the situation and imagine having a conversation to try and work it out, which then follows through to my mouth! I often fear I'm going the same way as my poor, senile old nana. Glad to know I'm not the only one!

VeritysWatchTower Thu 19-Jan-17 10:48:57

I burst into song because of course I am in a musical.

I am a SAHM and years ago I forgot the children were on half term, cue them joining in with me. It was like a real musical. grin

They are used to it now and still join in. I also do weird affected voices. Dh is as bad as I am, so his crazy fits my crazy. We often talk to inanimate objects.

SerialReJoiner Thu 19-Jan-17 10:49:39

I've had suspicions that I'm rather boring, but this thread has proved it! I need to work on my imagination.

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