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My husband has just caught me doing something terrible and embarrassing...

(423 Posts)

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PrettyRicky Thu 19-Jan-17 10:24:46

My DH came home unexpectedly and I was in the kitchen doing something I probably shouldn't have been doing but which I do every time I'm home alone.

I was having an imaginary interview on Radio 4 Woman's Hour about my new, hugely critically acclaimed novel.

DH walked in just as I was saying to Jane Garvey "That's an interesting question, Jane. The book's really a reflection on womanhood at times of crisis".

He was just stood there at the kitchen door and said "What is? Who's Jane?" and then looked around the corner to our dining table, presumably expecting to find someone called Jane who'd popped around for a brew.

VeryFoolishFay Thu 19-Jan-17 13:46:57

Now, I'm feeling as though I am missing out because I like to think of myself as a creative, sensitive and imaginative woman and I work at home so I do have plenty of opportunity but I honestly can't remember ever doing this.

Obviously, I am going to start.

KurriKurri Thu 19-Jan-17 13:47:24

I have had many an imaginary interview - usually about the many novels I haven't have written and why my work is so important. I'm some times also asked for my opinions on world affairs and I baffle Jeremy Paxman with my erudite analysis.

I used to give lectures on academic subjects to DDog - every so often she would be asked if she wanted to ask a question. Sometimes she rudely fell asleep or walked of during one of my talks.

I have also cha cha cha'ed my way to the final of Strictly Come Dancing in the kitchen.

If I'm having a bad day I deliver an imaginary diatribe to XH. He is sitting in a chair and is not allowed to interrupt. I list all the many millions of ways in which he is a complete tit, and when I've finished he nods sadly and says 'you're right' grin

PlanIsNoPlan Thu 19-Jan-17 13:48:16

This thread and Report the Cat have managed to save MN for me. Bloody hilarious. Also like OP's DH response - "I'll leave it to you then". For my part I recreate all those conversations/arguments that really should have gone my way. Mostly in my head but parts just get blurted out, such as "You bastard". I tell myself that I really should stop before I become that old lady in the corner.

PenguinsandPebbles Thu 19-Jan-17 13:49:50

And this is why I LOVE my hive door sensors grin

Because DP has never seen me doing anything remotely embarrassing on a surprise pop-in during the day!

He thinks there for security reasons.., ha ha ha ha

CondensedMilkSarnies Thu 19-Jan-17 13:55:31

Noodles I can hardly hold my head up due to the weight of Olympic gold medals hanging round my neck grin

TheTantrumCometh Thu 19-Jan-17 13:57:10

I do shit like this all the time! I'm so glad I'm not the only one. Though I act them in my head rather than speak them out loud I think confused

EnidButton Thu 19-Jan-17 14:05:50

Oh I've written tons of best selling novels and been in lots of hit theatre shows. Always doing interviews. I also sometimes do YouTube tutorials whilst I put my make up on. blushgrin

Caken Thu 19-Jan-17 14:12:26

Definitely my favourite thread of the day/week/ever!

I do this sort of shit all the time. Not busted yet though! Although I kind of just whisper or mouth it all, I don't really address my 'janes' out loud.

I leave my key in the front door though so luckily for me the chances of me being caught mid-acceptance speech/ presenting the BRITS / coming out of that very successful surgery and thanking my team blush etc is pretty slim. The cat and the baby don't seem to care either.

MinesaPinot Thu 19-Jan-17 14:16:03

I have nothing to offer on this thread other than I am sitting at my desk at work trying to stifle my giggles because I should be working and not reading MN


AnUtterIdiot Thu 19-Jan-17 14:16:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Strokethefurrywall Thu 19-Jan-17 14:16:46

I'm generally accepting a Grammy after my surprise debut album has gone platinum, even though I'm technically a bit over the hill at 37 to be a rock star.
I also pretend that I'm being interviewed in my car, usually about my rise to stardom and how I juggle that with being a wife and mother.

toptoe Thu 19-Jan-17 14:18:22

My dp found out I was a famous singer when he saw me chatting to the woman in the mirror about it. I've also got a (pretend) writing career and sometimes I do a bit of acting on the (imaginary) telly/stage. I've just never grown out of playacting. I am prone to breaking out into a dance when really it's not appropriate. Also sometimes not sure if I say things out loud in public that should really stay in my head. Also, will hum tunes and sing when I should be quiet. Maybe I just don't like the quiet, but then I do like my own company.

As a child my imagination was my escape, so I reckon it's come from that and I find it comforting. Or I'm just a bit of a twat. One or the other.

AbernathysFringe Thu 19-Jan-17 14:20:10

Your DH needs to get a sense of humour! grin
I have practice arguments or what I would say if I met ex's new wife.

Strokethefurrywall Thu 19-Jan-17 14:21:37

Oh, and I also save people from drowning or rescue them from burning buildings quite a lot so of course have to be interviewed on Good Morning America by Robyn Roberts and George Stephanopolous.

lorelairoryemily Thu 19-Jan-17 14:23:04

This is hilarious!! Op you should be interviewed in the car in future, at least no one will catch you in the actgrin

Sittingunderafrostysky Thu 19-Jan-17 14:23:59

Favourite thread of the day. grin

In our house, it is DH who blurts out random thoughts, or conversations.

Our particular favourite was a completely unprompted outburst of "I just bloody hate line dancers", when dcs were waiting outside the shower to give him his Father's Day card.

Why he hates them, or what triggered this, we will never know...

DaisyDanzel Thu 19-Jan-17 14:26:24

I haven't read the whole thread but this made me laugh! It also reminds me of this episode of Friends...

ILoveDolly Thu 19-Jan-17 14:28:31

If I'm out walking on my own or in the kitchen I often have imaginary conversations and sometimes even arguments. My kids often catch me and once you friend said she was driving past me and I was chatting away to no-one blush
Apparently I have a reputation as a nutter already because noone seems to think it unusual for me

PrettyRicky Thu 19-Jan-17 14:28:33

I think DH was just shell shocked to say anything else.

He popped back for literally 2 seconds to get his wallet. At first I think he was surprised I had a woman called Jane in my kitchen, then he was even more surprised when Jane turned out to be a figment of my imagination.

I'm sure he'll mercilessly tease me about it later on.

Natsku Thu 19-Jan-17 14:29:46

Remembered another one - have appeared on Have I Got News For You many times in my head. Also have my 'talent' spotted after a chance conversation with a producer while at TV Studios and a whole new comedy news show would be created just to suit my amazing wit and current affairs knowledge grin

Also plan out every phone call I need to make in the same way, going through the potential conversations and thinking up the best replies to whatever questions I might be asked. Inevitably I fuck up the actual phone call, of course.

PrettyRicky Thu 19-Jan-17 14:30:37

Sadly I don't drive. So my interviews about my best-selling novels have to be confined to my kitchen.

Some times when I'm on the train to work and listening to music, I pretend I'm a world famous singer/actor just trying to get around unnoticed by hiding in plain sight. I pull my coat collar right up and sort of angle myself away from the aisle confused

AddictedtoLovely Thu 19-Jan-17 14:35:24

It could be a lot worse....grin

KatherineMumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 19-Jan-17 14:37:31

Hallo all,

After many requests we're going to move this crackin' thread over to Classics.

FearandLoathinginLasVegas Thu 19-Jan-17 14:44:47

Loving your hi-brow role play.

GrainOfSalt Thu 19-Jan-17 14:50:34

This has made my day ... I am not alone [ grin]

...I am invigilating a mock exam for my students, at least three of them have now realized I am NOT doing important work related stuff on my laptop. (I have now consulted my planner and am obviously sending a very important work related email wink

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