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Cameron2012 Sun 21-Aug-16 20:44:10

So I went out with a man many years ago who was very kind, interesting handsome, drove a lovely car and was very popular. But, I ended the relationship because he seemed to think whispering ' penetration' in my ear was sexy.
I also finished with a bloke because he had thick blond hair on his arms.
Now I know that means at the time I was very shallow, so ... What is the shallowest reason you have ever had to finish a relationship ?
😬

OP’s posts: |
backmadeofglass Sat 20-Jun-20 23:51:02

I met a bloke online - he seemed really nice , clever and witty and good looking. I arranged to meet him in a nearby city as I was there that day anyway so we met in a pub around 6 ish near where I’d parked my car . He turned up absolutely plastered and was dressed up as a storm trooper from Star Wars 🤦🏼‍♀️He’d was at a function that afternoon and thought he’d nip out for a couple of hours and meet me .
The date was short and I didn’t see him again. Everyone in the pub was staring and the girl behind the bar told me she felt sorry for me.

I have also finished with someone because they had an acorn willy, I’ve felt really guilty about it over the years cos he was actually a nice guy but I feel better now after seeing so many others have done the same 😂

serenada Sun 21-Jun-20 19:55:15

I'm staying single.

oldbagface Sun 26-Jul-20 22:25:34

Coming back to read this

Cagedbirdsinging Tue 28-Jul-20 00:06:57

'He wore beige socks . They made his feet look dead' - can't remember who said it but I am weak with mirth .
My exh's pencil dick had a strange bulbous head ; it looked like a malignant circumcised lollipop .
And he was a drunk . And he stank .

Rubbleonthedouble1 Fri 31-Jul-20 10:12:40

No hair anywhere on his body from the neck down because he shaved it all off!! That’s was it!

CandidaAlbicans2 Mon 03-Aug-20 19:49:07

Great old thread! grin
My contributions...

Man 1. You know that scene in American Werewolf in London where the main character changes into a werewolf, making those prolonged, pained, loud growling noises? Well, I fucked a man who sounded just like that when he came. It was alarming! I was half expecting him to metamorphose into something unearthly confusedconfused

Man 2. 2nd date, back at his for some how's your father, and as he was banging me over the arm of his sofa said "All for you, babe, all for you". Just as well I had my face planted in a cushion as I had to stifle a snigger as it just sounded so pornolised and ridiculous. I'd already thought we weren't a match made in heaven as he was a bit full on, and decided then I wasn't going to stay the night, but to make it easier for me to "escape" I waited until he was asleep and snuck out. Then avoided him like the plague.

Man 3. Told me all about his amazing hand technique that he said gets all the ladies off. Well, it didn't do much for me, so that coupled with his bragging about it was the end.

Man 4. Whenever I was on top he'd order me to "Ride it! Yes, ride that cock!" repeatedly. I just wanted him to STFU. Can't stand porno speak, it sounds so fake. Saying that me and one of my later partners used to do to each other for a laugh. It would have to be in doggy so I could turn around and do the whole "Oooh yes, baby" (whilst sucking air between my teeth) while he would say "Ave it" in a fake cockney accent grin

There are so many more (I have rather high mileage!) so all different shapes and sizes. The most troublesome have been the above average sized where they just hurt unless there's been tons of foreplay and the owner is skilled. Unfortunately I've found that those who have big cocks seem to think that just the sight of their magnificent peens is foreplay enough hmm Hate it when I can't even get them in my mouth too.
The cone-shaped ones are tricky too as condoms keep wanting to unroll. I pretty much don't care how big they are provided the lovers are eager to please and can follow instructions.

CandidaAlbicans2 Mon 03-Aug-20 21:34:08

Just remember another [shudder]...

I was snogging a man who's technique was just to stick his fat slobbery tongue in my mouth and...that was it. I was so grossed out I pulled away from him and he was there, eyes tightly closed with his fat tongue sticking out, for several seconds before realising I'd disengaged. Euw!

TBLimousin Fri 06-Nov-20 01:46:12

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