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Cameron2012 Sun 21-Aug-16 20:44:10

So I went out with a man many years ago who was very kind, interesting handsome, drove a lovely car and was very popular. But, I ended the relationship because he seemed to think whispering ' penetration' in my ear was sexy.
I also finished with a bloke because he had thick blond hair on his arms.
Now I know that means at the time I was very shallow, so ... What is the shallowest reason you have ever had to finish a relationship ?
😬

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Mooey89 Sun 21-Aug-16 21:21:00

Oh! Another one - turned up to a date with a pack of darts that he delighted in telling me were called 'golden penetrators' then when I held one told me 'you have a lovely grip'.

Another one I binned because he wore a pleather jacket. <boak>

NoCapes Sun 21-Aug-16 21:21:25

Oh I have another one!
A guy used to say "there you go" as he came, like it was a present for me envy no thankyou

Cameron2012 Sun 21-Aug-16 21:21:59

Ew reader ' one long hair' 😟😟😂😋

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sparechange Sun 21-Aug-16 21:22:15

He had a couple of stubbly dark hairs growing out of the tip of his nose, and told me his mum was such a neat freak that she had plastic covers on their sofas growing up

sparechange Sun 21-Aug-16 21:23:42

prosecco
I had a silent one as well. It was so, so creepy
He said it was a habit from having sex while living at home and not wanting his mum to hear. Which was reasonable, but he was 30 when I met him and had left home at 19

TheSpottedZebra Sun 21-Aug-16 21:23:48

He played Roxette in the car and asked me if I liked canals or rivers the best.
It wasn't a relationship, it was one date. But it was a shallow, decisive NOPE from then on.

GodImbored Sun 21-Aug-16 21:24:38

I went out with a guy who had a phobia of tongues and could only kiss with his mouth closed confused.

Not sorry as he also had that horrible white sticky collection of saliva in the corners of his mouth so I was praying he wouldn't kiss me anyway.

KentMum2008 Sun 21-Aug-16 21:25:56

I once dumped someone because he hummed the entire time he was doing any household task. Cooking, washing up, putting up shelves. And they were incidental hums, so when he opened a cupboard door for example, the Hum would be higher pitched, to indicate that something new had happened. Also he rollerbladed to work. He was 32.

CautionWankingMonkeys Sun 21-Aug-16 21:26:58

capes I think I've dated him.

Cameron2012 Sun 21-Aug-16 21:27:42

Mistress, it seems such a coincidence could it be we are looking at ' double penetration' ?????
I am crying with laughter at some of these, my favourite so far is ' here you go' man.

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x2boys Sun 21-Aug-16 21:28:01

I went out with one guy for about three months i was on the rebound he was a nice man but very boring and had np personality whatsoever he wore glasses that had really thick lenses that just reflected his eyeballs (my dh is very short sighted but he wears small frames that suit him) everthing about this man irritated me at the end i didnt even have sex with him i couldnt bring myself too and i,m no prude!

ProseccoBitch Sun 21-Aug-16 21:29:22

I left this out because it sounds unbelievable but I couldn't tell when he'd come either. He was totally silent and you can usually feel it, can't you? I had to ask him if he'd come blush He also had a sort of cone shaped penis (wide at the base tapering to the end) which for some reason made me bleed every time. I only saw him three or four times, that was enough!

Tubbyinthehottub Sun 21-Aug-16 21:29:42

My friend had a penetration man date! He apparently said to her "I want to penetrate you". Sexy.
Laughed out loud at the post coital shitter.

NoCapes Sun 21-Aug-16 21:29:58

Oh Caution you poor thing

MistressMerryWeather Sun 21-Aug-16 21:30:26

NoCapes, have you posted about that in the past?

I feel like I laughed at/been revolted by that before.

Scottishthreeberry16 Sun 21-Aug-16 21:31:56

Ex No. 1 had a pencil-thin willy. Slightly smaller length than average (though that would have bn okay in itself) but PENCIL-THIN? Nope, sorry, couldn't hack that,

Ex No. 2 fucking MEWED during sex. Huge turn-off. And this was before George Galloway...

Alibobbob Sun 21-Aug-16 21:33:05

Dumped for wearing Simpson PJ's and for telling me to say 'Happy birthday' when he picked me up from the train station. When I asked whose birthday it was it was his cars - no kidding.

MistressMerryWeather Sun 21-Aug-16 21:33:06

double penetration

Ack! Possibly. grin

There can't be more than one Penetration Man about, it's just wrong.

Cameron2012 Sun 21-Aug-16 21:33:27

Oh I finished with one because his name was Trevor

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UnderTheGreenwoodTree Sun 21-Aug-16 21:34:23

Too nice. Wouldn't have a good romping row - or even plain disagree with me - ever. As such I could never tell if he agreed or disagreed with me - about anything. Maddening.

treaclesoda Sun 21-Aug-16 21:34:49

I dumped someone once when they said they couldn't wait to see the new Jean Claude Van Damme film, and that they loved Bon Jovi. There was simply no point continuing.

PunkrockerGirl Sun 21-Aug-16 21:34:51

Kept mauling me about in public <bleugh>
I saw him at a social event recently and he'd turned into his dad not a pretty sight

cheeseandmarmite15 Sun 21-Aug-16 21:35:53

Years and years ago I started dating a guy who was lovely, really lovely but he just didn't have that oomph. I had met him through my cousin and I stupidly told her that whilst he was lovely he wasn't terribly exciting.

She then went and told him in a nice way, apparently! He was quite keen on me and eager to impress he thought he would so something exciting.

He came round for dinner at mine and I answered the door and he was dressed in a wet suit complete with flippers and a snorkel!

It was just a horrible cringe moment as he guffawed with laughter and whilst I like to think I have a good sense of humour, I just didn't 'get it.'

Such a shame really as he was so nice and with hindsight if I'd stick with him or gone out with someone similar I would probably have found lasting happiness.

I had to tell him that night that I didn't want to see him again and it was very sad watching him leave with his folded up wetsuit and snorkel and me running to his car with a ,"Don't forget your flippers!".

Dontyouopenthattrapdoor Sun 21-Aug-16 21:37:07

This thread is making me shudder half out of my skin!

One told me on our first date that God had told him I was his wife.

Apparently he's gay now.

Ah well.

Cameron2012 Sun 21-Aug-16 21:37:32

Oh cheeseandmarmite that is hilarious

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