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DeadAsADildo Fri 13-May-16 21:59:44

(Inspired by another thread-posts may be entirely fictional)

My 10y old has never had a fizzy drink in his entire life.

DeadAsADildo Fri 13-May-16 22:01:17

I'll do another just to get the smug ball rolling

In fact my 10 year old has never even heard of Coke.

BadLad Sat 14-May-16 05:01:11

I thought you were going to suggest categories and values for your own card if you were part of a Mumsnet set of Top Trumps.

Like this - out of 100

BADLAD

Goadiness - 74
Mumsnet Royalty - 04
Ego - 92
Feminism - 36
LTB - 18
Loo Brush Usage - 46
Entitled Behaviour - 69

BadLad Sat 14-May-16 05:03:07

Make that Goady Fuckery, not Goadiness.

winchester1 Sat 14-May-16 05:05:57

My five yr old is at a red.brick university.

BadLad Sat 14-May-16 05:39:57

Mine teaches at a university.

He built the university himself too.

ThoraGruntwhistle Sat 14-May-16 06:14:08

My children have never heard of Coke to the point that they don't even have any concept of bubbles.

bushtailadventures Sat 14-May-16 06:18:54

My children don't even know what a screen is, they only read books we have approved beforehand!

00100001 Sat 14-May-16 06:28:55

What's Coke?

poocatcherchampion Sat 14-May-16 06:32:18

My teenagers only drink breastmilk from source

00100001 Sat 14-May-16 06:40:15

My child is graduating from lentil weaving class on Tuesday.

ThoraGruntwhistle Sat 14-May-16 06:48:13

My child has been invited to six parties this weekend but can only go to three because she has her grade 16 harpsichord exam and advanced Flemish lesson to go.

KP86 Sat 14-May-16 07:26:06

My child has never slept a wink in his life.

FairNotFair Sat 14-May-16 07:30:25

I have called 101 so many times about nothing that I've been given an official caution.

savasanaaa Sat 14-May-16 07:32:49

I cancelled the cheque before the bride even sent me the cheeky email.

BigGreenOlives Sat 14-May-16 07:41:35

My children have never been to Macdonalds, KFC or Greggs.

My children translate books from French into English so their friends can enjoy them.

My children illustrate the books they write themselves.

NotnowNigel Sat 14-May-16 07:48:25

I've been no contact with my entire narcissistic family since before I was born.

FairNotFair Sat 14-May-16 07:51:52

I went NC with my PILs after my MIL asked permission to hold her 3-month-old grandchild for the first time.

Pushy, controlling mare.

Ohwoolballs Sat 14-May-16 07:55:03

My birth plan was followed to the letter and I banned all family contact for the following two weeks.

And I haven't bought a travel system grin

Wakinguptooearlybyfar Sat 14-May-16 07:57:43

My two year old can recite the entire alphabet

My three year old not only writes her name, but can correct my spelling.

My six month old sleeps through the night.

My three year old eats Brie, sushi and artichokes. In fact, they recently asked for sashimi. With pickles.

My two year old will only listen to Radio 3 and 4. No telly.

All because I am an incredible mother. Of course.

DeadAsADildo Sat 14-May-16 07:58:18

I dumped my boyfriend when his mother asked me my name.

She has no boundaries

DeadAsADildo Sat 14-May-16 07:59:08

Well I wouldn't let my dcs touch dairy.

DeadAsADildo Sat 14-May-16 08:01:30

Badlad I think that could work, too grin

LaContessaDiPlump Sat 14-May-16 08:01:34

My children faint every time we pass a Greggs.

DeadAsADildo Sat 14-May-16 08:02:20

I'm astonished you have a Greggs in your town.

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